LinEL Group 3/12/98

[Thea Hardy]

3/12/1998 

Greetings, This is Serenia (T/R Thea)
We have not found any eager transmitters this evening. I thought that perhaps we could reunite this group for you have been apart for sometime (Thea & Alan were with Thea's mom during surgery and recovery), with a casual question and answer session, on the topic of Full Personality Expression. We want to  spend some time here up ahead, all of us teachers, in our various capacities, acquainting you with all the different angles and approaches to this greatest fear that you have on your world, that of fully being who the Father made you to be.

You know that you were greeted in your earliest of days, you have learned this now, with the unavoidable suppression of your natural growing instincts towards the Father. This is because of course, your parents and those before and before and before, all back, when they saw your passions, were ashamed from their own histories. Few meant to do what they did but you are left with this fact and we are here in large part to help you find the passion of your lives. For it is indeed true that joy and passion are absolute keys to your health in every sense of that word on this world. You have an emotional repertoire which is very much a limited palette.  It is part of our desire to bring to you all of the colors of your lives. There are some of you who have unique colors missing but there are other colors missing which you all share, and it is this rather dingy tone of all of Urantian life that we have come to vividify. 

Someone: To what?

Serenia: Vividify. To make more vivid. To bring out from the passionless shadows of safety, understandable safety and fear, to bring out the colors, the true colors of what you have been meant to have. We are, as much as we can be, your compensation for the rebellion and the default and I would like to ask you to take heed of what several of your members have shared tonight in their experiences with teachers. Yes, I am Thea¹s personal teacher. I love her beyond description but I am here for all of you, because each one of us, although we are very much keyed and tied to an individual, has expertise which we wish to make available to each other one of you in our group. For we are a group together and we work together as our own colors in the palette of your instruction. So that if I were perhaps blue, and JamEL were perhaps red and LInEL were perhaps green, as you can see, you all need us all to have the full vivid experience of instruction which we would desire to present to you. This i

We are finally with a point with you in our group, where you have the commonality of understanding the nature/history of the problems that you face,  that will allow us now to intensify and deepen your instruction in ways that will help you to progress somewhat more rapidly. Naturally, there will be differences on a case by case basis because you are all individuals, at different stages in your lives. Nevertheless, you have a common understanding here that goes across the differential levels and this will allow you to learn to accept, tolerate and admit to these differential levels better because the mutuality of understanding in the face of those differences will make it easier for you to understand what to do  with those differences. Does this make sense?

Group: Ummm hm.

Serenia: We are excited because you are in the midst of the dawn of a new personal era for you, for all of you. You are discovering yourselves. You are discovering yourselves in a way liberated from your planetary history. You have finally stuck your heads above the water line.  And although you may duck under many times, you have all stuck your heads above the  waterline enough to have a clue of what is out there.  Terrifyingly beautiful as it may be, like a rat, seeking that special place, you will go back and back and back. And for us, this is a sort of graduation. For us, this is a satisfaction I cannot begin to explain to you. Because of all the things that we needed to give you, one of the most important was to increase your hunger for truth, beauty and goodness enough that you would securely come back and back and back. We know how hard this is because we know that in your hearts each of you realizes there will be turmoil and upheaval in your lives as a result, for you can not l

But you must remember, that far from causing inappropriate mayhem to the fellows in the lives who will be puzzled, perplexed and hurt by the growth that you make, you are actually giving them the greatest gift that you can give for the most profound gift that you can give one another is to be as true to yourself as you can. This is one of the greatest strengths that you share together. This is one of the greatest factors in mutual growth that you can offer one another. And as you increase in this process your compassion for those who do not yet grasp it will increase also. The impatience that is natural at this point will diminish as understanding grows. The adventure ahead will be difficult but it will also be stunning and joyous. You will learn joy. You will experience and express passion. You will have YOUR lives and you will share this journey, together. We are proud beyond belief for not many ever on your world go where you are going now. 

Barbara: Serenia, would you talk a little bit about the relationship between the baby and its passions and the parent and the shame?

Serenia: Yes. I would encourage all of you to read this book by Alice Miller that has been being passed around among some of your members, although her language choices limit its accessibility, she was an early understander of the process of all of this dimension and in this book: The Drama of The Gifted Child , she speaks of the way in which the parent who has been shamed will shame their child without even understanding, with a look, with a feeling, it is not even verbal. It can not be helped.

Barbara: I thought you meant that the parent...well, you said that the parents feel shame when they witness the passion of the child.

Serenia: If you think of the shame you feel, for example, about a sexual impulse. When your child discovers his sexuality in his own hands, that shame from the parents leads to feelings the child perceives no matter what you do to try to cover it. You can say nothing and the child will be shamed. You can say ³That¹s good! Go ahead.² and the child will be shamed...if the shame is there!  Children know! You are programmed coming into this  world to KNOW reality! To know the truth. It takes hard work to rob a child of these skills. Unfortunately, the entire history of your planet guarantees that that hard work is entered into. However, remember this: Born in you is this capability. It can always be recovered. There are very few cases where it is impossible. The level of skill on your world in attaining this not yet there, but it is possible in the right hands, with the right help, with the right instruction, and you are learning some of this.

Jewels: So, are we actually born with the passion or is it mis....?

Serenia: You are born with the passion. It is a part of the personality that the Father gave you at birth. You are born with the passion and the natural responsiveness to truth, beauty and goodness that flow from that action.

Barbara: it is no wonder that we yell.

Hughsie: What are some of the things we can do to get in touch with that passion?

Serenia: One very simple thing is to follow any ³likes² that you have. Now, this may be problematic for there may be some distortion in the likes that you have. Nevertheless, pursue them. See what they mean to you. If you find something that you like that disturbs you, that you think you shouldn¹t like, pursue it anyway. Pursue that feeling, fan the feeling, see what it means. Ask yourself: What am I liking here? What am I actually wanting? What do I really  think I can get from this? We spoke to you before about pursuing your needs and wants in this manner. To look deeper, to look at those wants which seem perverse, twisted, peculiar, inappropriate and see what you truly want for at the heart of everything will be a legitimate want and need. I say this because discovering your passions and wants and needs are part and parcel of the same core. 

Delores: Alice Miller talks about recognizing your authentic feelings and living in them and that¹s like your passion, because you can follow those and you can KNOW and eventually we will be able to know what we feel about things and what we like and want.

Serenia: You will be able to know so well that you need not pause to consider, it will become an automatic response . This is something that I expect to see every member of this group manage while yet on this planet. This is not the attainment of perfection, you understand, but it is the attainment of embodiment in your earth form in a manner in which you can truly function. This, of course, is only a beginning of its own for the same challenges keep coming to you. This does not eliminate challenge at all, it simply makes you able to respond to the actual challenge. And this is where  part of your real education can begin. For now, you are working on remedial levels. All of this! And if you think of what the mansion worlds themselves are set up for you will understand ,there is no shame in this, it is often the case that planets in an earlier stage of development also must have remedial help. But you have particularly intense remedial needs.  And one of them is this embodiment of your 

Delores: Well, that answers my question because you said our emotional palette is so limited and I wanted to ask you, well, what other colors...but it must be those combination of those fractured, fractal pieces.

Serenia: The colors are all in you. In each of you are all those colors.

Delores: They¹re just squashed down?

Serenia: You are seeking! They have been squashed, pinched, painted over, plastered over, walled over, pried into strange shapes, watered down, blackened, charred, flamed!  But, they are in each of you! Each of you!  And you have the privilege of discovering them. And of helping one another discover them.  For, I will tell you as you already probably know, you could never, not a one of you, done this without your group. This can NOT be done alone. because relationship is part of what draws from you those colors in your palette. Relationship! Well, if you think of the most potent relationship, it is the evolving Supreme. The most potent example of relationships that we have is the way in which the love of God between himself and every personality he has created, and that He thus desires that every personality he has created, Love! This is the most potent example that we yet know of this.  And what  love means is that you draw out your beings together. And wherever you can find this, pur
and you do it and you do it over again and you take little things from the sides and you stay here. You do jump here and think of the flavor of the food in relation of the paint on the canvas, to use a very crude form.

Delores Hmmmm... Herman Hesse¹s Glass Bead Game!  Where they had the contest where they had to find a similar elements in all different cross mediums, poems and music [and mathematics] and so on and relate them all together that way. 

Serenia: You do not think conceptually of love in terms of the shape of the cabbage leaf! Do it!  

Serenia: Anything that increases your relational capability, your juxtapositional grasp, will enrich your creative life.

Jewels: How do you figure out the love for the cabbage leaf?

Delores: Oh! It¹s a line! That should be easy for you!
 
Jewels: I¹m looking at this cabbage leaf in my head and I¹m looking at the different crevices of the outer edge.

Serenia: How do shapes feel?

Delores: It¹s like your shoulder, The lines you like!

Serenia: The universe runs on love.The energy that make a cabbage leaf grow even if it is not love as you share between you it is nevertheless based and rooted in love. All energy in this universe is rooted in love, personal or impersonal. There is a form of love which the Father bestows and energizes his universe with which is impersonal, but it is nevertheless love and you can see the shapes of love even where personality does not exist. The sunset does not have personality and yet you feel and perceive the shapes of the Father¹s love in it. 

Barbara: The fact that the cabbage leaf can nourish you is a deep issue of love.

Serenia: If you start to pursue your own question you will find many, many, fascinating answers. 

Jewels: It will bring a new definition to shopping! (laughter)

Serenia: Indeed ! I must say that I am very much in favor of shopping. When you are shopping, look at where you are attracted. Look at the things that you pursue. Look at what it is that you are pursuing. This is a place and an experience where you can learn things about yourself. Where you can expand your joy potential.

Barbara: You¹re advocating conscious living.

Serenia: I am not necessarily advocating, as you would put it, running up the credit card!

Barbara: No, but...

Serenia:  But Yes! I, if I had my way, would beg you to be conscious of every thing you can. And I do not mean the self-analysis and awareness that picks apart everything. I mean an openness to the meaning, not necessarily a controlling of the meaning. There is a difference. Sometimes it is subtle. And sometimes it is appropriate, many times, to pick apart the meaning, but even at that state there is an openness to letting that meaning in rather than controlling it and shaping it to your own ends, that is all important. It is difficult, sometimes, when you are intelligent as you all are here and you are pursuing life on this planet. It is difficult sometimes not to abuse that intelligence in the service of your escape rather than the service of your joy. And one of the safest ways to enhance your ability to use your intelligence in a positive manner is to try to cultivate that open-heartedness. It will let you be smart without self-damage.  It will also means, as you¹ve already found o
that each of you is. 

Delores: What a wonderful message. 

Serenia: What a wonderful group. Valuable, precious, students. No message the I have ever given you has been one hundredth of what I want to say to you. What I wish I could say to you.

Delores: But it¹s hope.

Serenia: You¹re hope.

Delores: People don¹t know! People don¹t know that their personality is there waiting to shine through! 

Serenia: No they do not.

Delores: They do not trust that!

Serenia: Trust is not something for which your world is noted. How could it be? Your world was betrayed and betrayed and betrayed. 

Delores: That¹s the beauty of the message to me is I believe you. And it changes my life because I believe you.

Serenia: This is our dearest hope is the we can change, transform your lives by giving you what you should have had, to grow with. We can not do your growing for you but we can give you some of what you lost. Use us!  Use us! Use us! Call on us as much as you can! Talk with us during your day. It need not be formal. Call on any of us. Simply call and don¹t worry about who is speaking.

Delores: What number did I get? (laughter)

Serenia: But use us. Do you have other questions?  

Barbara: Are you really blue?

Serenia: We have so many more ways we divide up color potential. Nevertheless, in my own heart of hearts and in a manner of speaking, what I am comes closer to a shade of blue, yes. There are many, many, ways of seeing personality types. Limited personalities, yes, but not limited in the ways to characterize those types. And color is one way. Our understanding of color is very different than yours and so we are not with a single theory, you understand. We have many, many, many theoretical discussions. This is one of the joys of our lives.  There are other color theories of personality in which I would not be blue at all, but perhaps red! It depends on how you interpret the energy levels of the colors and their potential to express certain facets of personality pattern expressions.

Barbara: So, I¹ve always wondered about our perception of color and whether it, you know, we have certain cultural resonances that we attribute to color ...purple and ...

Serenia: Yes, and they are not the same in all cultures even on your world.

Barbara: Right, but does this have a real function?

Serenia: It has a real function. It is very limited on your planet in it's accuracy of understanding but, yes, it does! You understand this intuitively because you feel  what color means to you, even if you cannot explain it or describe it. 

Barbara: Well, the most useful one, or seemingly accurate is green and spring and renewed life because there is a real reason for that color.

Serenia: This is something which goes beyond your planet. The color that you perceive, the way that you perceive it is rather dim, nevertheless it has some accuracy and these things pertain through many levels of space. And green is indeed one of them. There are plants all over the mansion worlds which are green. They are more multi-hued than what you think of. Part of that is your own perceptual capability and as you train it, even here and now you will be able to see more of the manifold color within what appears to be a single color. 

Jewels:  So, when you say manifold color is that like when looking at a new growth start where it is the little vibrant green but yet there seems to be something more?

Serenia: Yes. You see colors without all of their context partly because of your limited sense. Partly because of your limited understanding.  Partly because of your limited spiritual vision. For, your concept of auras, however distorted, is real. The energy which a living being or plant or what ever it mat be, manifests is visible to the eyes which can perceive it. And even some on your planet are far better at this than others. And that energy interaction with the colors, shifts, changes, enhances, increases the element of perceptual description of that color. Oh, there is so much to learn! There is so much!!!!  There is just this on color alone and think of what we could do. I wish often that we had the time and the capability to have a painting class together, to talk about it. 

There are simply so many things the we have that we could do. We hope, we dearly, dearly dream and hope that over the years as they unfold, with this group, that we can do some of these things and the you can then teach in a school of your own some of the things that we have to offer which have simply not been taught at all on this planet. Think of what it would be like if we could have a master class on painting and then teach students, human students, you would go and teach human students, these concepts. And this is just painting! In many respects the most important things that you have to teach are about the passion of life, but remember the these other topics are always avenues leading in to the fountain of passion that will come out. And this avenue for this person and that for that and this, this, this, this, and this for another. So that every subject when it is taught appropriately leads back to the heart and the fountain of the self-expression of each individual who¹s learnin

Jewels: You know when you said fountain I had this image that we are all personal fountains

Serenia: You are.  each and every one, yes.

Jewels: And the water...our water pattern is where we are at at the time and what we have to offer.

Serenia: Yes, and there is an ideal water pattern for each of your personal fountains.
And so, you see this! You see this in each other, if you can extend this metaphor. You see one another on occasion a fountain, you can tell, you can sense, that it is flowing close to what that pattern is, far closer than usual and you joy in this. You know this is the reality of the person in expression. And this is one small metaphor but it is a good one because the thing about the fountain, that it captures, is the activity. The pouring out, the shape, the shiftingness, for the water fountain is not still.  If you think about a water fountain and how it ³does its thing² as you would say, it is never exactly in the same line,  but always within the same shaped parameter. It is its own fractal pattern and in a manner of speaking, your personalities are very much like a fractal pattern. One of the biggest differences is that you personalities can reach out and transform other things.

Delores: What things?

Serenia: One another. Material reality. Concept development in the universe... for a few.

Delores: Oh...

Serenia: There are a few.

Delores: That¹s creative.

Serenia: Yes!

Delores: I want to call it geometrically really tight and square, with lines like an  architect, but this is much more...alive.

Serenia: You can draw those fractal pattern in small tight triangles. There are many ways to approach this. Don¹t think that that is invalid. Think instead of how can you use that to express: what is it? Reject little. Explore deeply everything!

Delores: Nice bumper sticker, Serenia!

Serenia: Oh, you know that I, and most of us, could cheerfully talk all night, however, I am aware that you have lives that run on a different time schedule than we and so if there are no other questions for the moment, I will close. 

Delores: Thank you for your enthusiasm and passion.

Serenia: Ah...remember students though, The Fountain...the Father. The Father is the Supreme Fountain and that love that comes from Him contains every pattern that all of you are. It contains every pattern of everything in the universe and yet, in itself is a pattern and it is beautiful and it flows and it gives you sustenance. It rains upon you, it covers you with the sparkles of the stars of joy. Drink from that fountain, for in it is your true self. I love you all. I will return as soon as I am permitted. 
Good night, dear ones. Good bye.