[tmtranscripts] Pocatello transcript 4-6-01

[Bill Kelly]

POCATELLO TEAM

4-6-01
		

Klarixiska(Virginia): This is Klarixiska.  

We thank you, Father, for your love, for we do know that it is the basis of
the self esteem that is in the universe.  You have created us, both seen
and unseen, in order to reach you one day.  We don't fully understand, but
we thank you for your love; we thank you for the opportunity to grow; we
thank you that at the end of the path we will know fully your love and
approval.  Be with each one, tonight, both those who teach and those who
listen, that learning truly might occur, and that change might bring
greater self esteem to all.  Amen.

Daniel(Bill): Dear ones, it is I, your teacher, Daniel, present with you on
this lovely Spring afternoon.  My special greetings to PamElla whom I
rejoice to have the opportunity to converse with.  My students are spread
over great distances, geographically, but still this meeting of the core
group is essential for us to continue our classroom experience.  

Having reminded you of the fact that you are not born defective, under the
fictitious guilt of racial condemnation, I would now elaborate some of the
ramifications of this truth.  You see, if you believe that you began life
on this mortal sphere handicapped and depraved, it is difficult to assess
progress accurately.  But since you were not born this way, but rather were
born under the smile of God and the approval of the universe, there is no
legacy of guilt to carry from earliest childhood into maturity.  

I realize that for those who were not raised under a theological
understanding of God's love which was accurate, this heritage of shame and
guilt is difficult to let go of.   It is more or less like a self
fulfilling prophecy so that when you make a mistake you can say, "Well,
that's just the way I am made.  I have always been a sinner by birth and by
nature".  But when you understand that you were not born a sinner, and when
you also understand that you were born as a mortal to begin the great
perfection ascension career to Paradise, it is possible, therefor, to allow
your estimate of self to be constantly adjusted upward.  In other words,
then, for all those mistakes of learning, you understand that there is no
shame or guilt involved.  Only when a person deliberately chooses evil
should there be feelings of guilt and the need for forgiveness.  Having,
therefor, this basic attitude that your lives are a process of moving from
potential to actual, from one level of attainment to another, to another,
and to another, it is not appropriate to look back on the past with any
sense of shame or regret, any self denigration, any self loathing.  

Just as you look on the progress of any human preschooler with amusement
and affection and see the level of behavior with a generous understanding,
so does the Father of all and all universe administrators and Creators
understand that you are just children, spiritually, having just been born
of the animal nature and so recently infused with the divine nature.  It is
inappropriate for any parent to expect their three year old to have the
maturity of an eighteen year old.  No normal parent would ever expect that
kind of thing.  And yet, many people are intolerant with themselves as
adults and do not accept their progress realistically.  They expect
themselves to be far advanced of what their experience quotient actually is.

It is very important that you realize that your origin is positive, is
blessed, rather than is cursed as a result of the sins of your ancestors.
What is important is that the past truly should not have a hold on the
present.  The person you were ten years ago, twenty years ago, or even a
few weeks ago is not exactly the same person you are today.  Your
personality has not changed, but your character development has.  If you have
admitted to your deliberate choices of evil and seen the error of those
choices, you are forgiven and those feelings of guilt associated with the
past should go away.  Every day is a brand new day.  Every moment is a new
beginning.  Therefor, your self esteem needs to be focused on this moment.
If you sincerely desire, pray and chose to do what is right, what is best,
there is no place, then, in your minds for regret.  We are all children of
a most gracious parentage.  Our Mother and our Father understand us and
rejoice to see us feeling good about ourselves.

PamElla, you very blessed because you understand these things; and that
child that grows within you will have a different entrance into the world
than was your lot, and the lot of your parents before you.  I rejoice to be
in your presence today, my friends.  I have finished my remarks.  Do you
have questions or comments?

Virginia: Daniel, I think that I have said a similar statement, but for you
to easily say, "have no regret", it's just a huge mountain to climb over
from my point of view, because regrets affect not just yourself, but many
other people.  Sometimes this can be a heavy burden!

Daniel(Bill): My dear, I understand your point, but it does not take into
account the fact that everyone's actions, while affecting everyone else,
are also part of the matrix and web of growth opportunities for the whole.
The choice of Jesus to allow himself to be put to death was not one that he
easily made.  His human nature was tempted to bypass that experience.  His
death on the cross as a criminal was not the will of God.  The will of God
was that he should pursue the natural conclusion to his life.  His death on
the cross was the result of the ill will, the evil thinking and planning of
men.  But Jesus absorbed those effects and took upon himself that
experience.  He surmounted it and forever does he understand what grievous
consequences can come from the bad decisions of others. But always is the
resurrection the last word!  Love utterly destroys evil by transforming it.
  The universe does not go downhill as a result of the effects of error
that everyone is a part of.  The universe is evolving and improving.  

What good results occur when one dwells upon thoughts about how one has
affected others in a negative manner?   Tell me what positive improvement,
what redeeming value those kinds of ruminations have.

Virginia: Well, immediately it came to mind that given a similar
circumstance, I think I would act differently. I think the progression of
my own life has shown that, but that doesn't mean that I wished that I had
to learn from those mistakes.  I would rather have learned from something
more positive.  

Daniel: You do well to learn from those mistakes!  You would do better if
you would let go of the negative feelings as well, because the negative
feelings occupy your mind with unpleasantness, distract your thinking from
the present, have a repetitious, circular, "spin your wheels" time
consumption.  That's why the Master said that he wished his disciples to
have no sense of guilt or regret or shame.  These can occupy your mind and
take away from your focus on the present.  Actually, my friends, it isn't
God who needs to be persuaded to forgive, it is you who needs to be
persuaded to forgive yourself and others.  Understand that these
evolutionary universes are created to progress through error, through
mistakes, through these sorts of things; this is the way it is designed to
be!  This is not some cosmic derailment of the original project!   This is
the way it is meant to be: evolution, constant improvement, is the
essential characteristic of this universe.  

Someday we shall all meet the Havoners, the natives of Havona, who were
born in perfection.  They are absolutely fascinated to try to understand
the concept of perfectedness evolving from imperfection.  In their
experience they have no clue, until they talk with those who have ascended
from the evolutionary worlds.  And they envy us, for we have had these
experiences which they have not.  So, Letah, when you regret that you are
part of this imperfect universe, I find it amusing, because there is a
similar envy on the part of those who are created perfect.  It takes both
the perfect and the perfected to have the full understanding of universe
reality.

Virginia: Are there no magic wands, Daniel?  (Laughter, comments)

Nancy: Mom has always wanted a magic wand.(More laughter)

Daniel: You see, if there was a magic wand what would you lose?
Experience.  You would lose the experience of making choices to overcome
the obstacles.  This loss of experience would be a true short circuiting of
the whole purpose of evolutionary attainment perfection.  Can you
understand that??

Virginia: I really can.  Thank you.

Daniel: What I wish to leave with you this evening is this....

Nancy: Don't leave yet!

Daniel: I am not leaving yet!  I am speaking of my thoughts.  

I wish to leave you the feeling that one has when one has gone on a long
strenuous hike up a steep mountain, one switch back after another, until
you are finally at the top, rest, look out, and see the incredible scenery
and feel that sense of physical completion in your body.  You have pushed
this wonderful machine of yours, you body, to this level, to this
accomplishment.  And it has been hard work, but look at the result!  Look
at the wonderful scenery that is yours to gaze upon.  Everyday, every hour,
even every minute can have this flavor, that you have reached this point.
You, have struggled, yes.  There will be more struggles, there will be more
progress and we are just beginning.  But you are entitled to the "rest" of
accomplishment.  

The brain is actually  both hard wired and soft wired; it has genetic
structures that are there but also accepts the experience of a lifetime and
stores it in meaningful patterns.  I emphasize the understanding of these
things because it requires a rewiring of the brain, as it were, for you to
feel differently about previous experience.  It requires repeated
reinterpretation of old thought patterns to change those associated
feelings as the neural circuitry changes only by repetition.  Eventually,
then, the old circuitry will be sufficiently altered that you will not have
this emotional response to the past that was the result of your thinking
interpretation, the misunderstanding that was taught you regarding the
value of human nature.  So, Letah, in conclusion to your plea, it will take
time and it will take repeated thinking that is different from your
childhood and early adulthood thinking.  Eventually the feelings will be
altered.  When you have the experience of going back to those early
"tapes", that is just evidence that the neural circuitry has not been
completely rewired.  But each time you confront those feelings and fight
them with your mind, saying that they are the result of a misunderstanding,
and you understand that, it changes the feelings and eventually you will be
free.  Has this answered your concerns?

Virginia: Yes, Daniel, and I appreciate very much the teachers and the
support you all give.

Daniel: If this were a normal planet you would not be struggling with this
error and distortion.  But, it isn't a normal planet and therefor my
colleagues and I are just so pleased to have an opportunity to help you all.

Nancy: Thank you for that, Daniel.  Thank you for the greeting and the
recognition of the life growing within.  People ask me if I have felt
anything yet and I thought that I may have but not clearly.  But as I have
been sitting here she is very active.  (Laughter) ..and I am clearly
feeling baby.  So that is pretty cool!

Thank you for your discussion with mom.  What I had been thinking, and you
developed it as I was listening to the earlier part.   I was thinking about
how uplifting it is to achieve a goal, to know that you have been in tune
and you chose that and that you have the best.  What a fabulous feeling
that is!  The difficulty, of course, is when one makes an error.  You know,
I felt like I erred last Friday and went ahead and acted "as if" making an
error was okay and therefor dealt with it up front and straight forward.
But it still caused such great shame, even at the same time that I am
behaving as if making errors is normal and natural.(Laughter)  So I was
thinking about the "as if" part, that if you act it long enough you will
own it after a while.  Then when you went into the wiring part with mom,
that validated that.  So it was pretty neat as the thoughts passed through
my mind and you went ahead and developed in greater detail.  Now I had a
question which I lost.  I talk too much.  (Pause with bantering conversation.)

Well, I can't think of it now.  But it's very nice to be here with you and
hearing from you.  I was looking forward to hearing from you in this
manner.  Oh, I remember my question!  What happens for me sometimes when I
have had such pinnacle types of experiences of knowing that I am right on,
I get the terrible fear that I can never do that again.  It is almost like
I am afraid to even try again.  I don't trust that I can just continue to
make pinnacle choices, time after time.  Especially when I do fall down and
make the errors that I don't want to make.  I would like for you to address
that fear and that block and also I wonder how it was that Jesus was able
to align himself so well from the time he was a little boy!  He would talk
to his father in Heaven and blow the adults away with the wisdom that he
showed.  I would like to be like that, but maybe not enough to do the
really hard work.  (Laughter)

Daniel: The fear of not being able to continue to learn and to grow is
partly from a belief that it is not okay to make mistakes and be imperfect.
 That is my best guess.

Nancy/PamElla: I would agree with you.  It is not okay!  (Laughter)

Daniel: You don't agree that I correctly ascertained this?

Nancy: I do agree that you correctly ascertained this.  I don't agree that
it is okay to make mistakes.  (Laughter).  I intellectually know that it
is.  I listened to what you teach us. I know that is correct, but I don't
own it, so that is why I have to act "as if".  But I don't own it at all.

Daniel: You had a very difficult childhood experience for your parents were
not clear in their understanding about this matter, at all.  Not only were
they unclear, but you were in a culture in which you were simultaneously
cast as the "preacher's kid" and "child of the minister of the devil".
Both of these seemingly opposite cultural pressures pushed you in the
direction of a perfectionism, to be a good girl to prove you weren't
associated with the devil.  Were you aware of that?  And also, but more
predominantly, that you were the daughter of a family in the "ministry".
Your parents did not understand the need for personality unification in the
pre-school years.  They expected behavior from you which was
inappropriately advanced.

Virginia: Very well said.

Daniel: You were not given enough grace and, therefor, those experiences
combined with you high intelligence, has facilitated a belief system that
you absorbed as a very young child.  You, also, like most children, assumed
responsibility for difficulties in the family that were not yours to
assume.  But as a child often does, you felt that responsibility.  So you
have this very deeply ingrained "stuff" which you are beginning to truly
transcend.   I believe, and so does Linda, that you are making great
progress.  

For example, you are willing to settle for less than perfection, and
actually enjoy it.  (Laughter)

Group member: Is that true?

Nancy: Yes, you should see my house.  (More laughter)  

Daniel: And so I say, again, your fear is the result of the rewriting of
your brain, your neural circuitry.  It's the same old fear of change that
we all experience in mortal life.  But, what I am telling you and I know
you intellectually understand, is that this whole process will become
emotionally more gratifying, more uplifting, more joyful.

Nancy: Thank you! That is very helpful.  I am kind of struggling at a
personal level finding balance in work and life right now.  Something
struck me when you talked about taking on the responsibility for things in
family like children do.  I know at work I have a tendency to take on a lot
and to kind of come from, "If it's got to be, it's up to me".   In my work,
to some extent, that happens to be the case.  As I look around I think I
have more complete understanding of the issues, how they interrelate to one
another, which ones are the most significant, which ones need to be gone
after.  At the same I want to enjoy my pregnancy, enjoy my life, and find
that balance.  So I am still really struggling there with how much to take
on, how much to just let fall through the cracks, because that's where it's
going to go.  When I am not there, there is no one underneath to catch it.
It's sounds like I am asking you to tell me what to do, and I am not, but
if there is any advice you could give me, a lens to look at it through, I
would really be grateful because everything feels so important that I just
wish I could quintuple the amount of time that I have and do it all at the
level that I would like to do, including time off, sitting around and
feeling this baby.  

Daniel: I would point out to you, my dear, that your ability to do the work
you are doing is one of the positive results of all of this early training.
 (Laughter)

Nancy: Yeah, I agree!

Daniel: Yes, but what you have to realize now is that the greatest role,
the most important job in your mortal lifetime, is fast approaching, which
is to be a mother, to be a parent, yes!

Nancy: Thank you!

Daniel: And while you have been able to diversify your energies and give to
the world as a whole, in that you have this wonderful larger perspective,
you also now will balance this with the wonderful role of being a gracious
and loving mother.  I will not get off on a long speech about parenthood at
this point, but allow yourself, my dear, to relax to the point where you
can feel this little one in you, for you two are one; you are biologically
one.  When she is born, then she becomes her own person.  Learn from the
mistakes of the culture that you were raised in and allow her to be
appropriately nurtured; although this is not meant to endorse the kind of
permissiveness that pervades some people's homes; for permissiveness is
interpreted by children as a lack of love.  Again, I say, I don't need to
lecture you on this.  You are very mature and the learning of the years
will assist you both as parents, I am most certain.

Nancy: I appreciate that, Daniel.  You somewhat answered something I have
been thinking about and that is how I am going to balance this with earning
any income at all.  But one of the philosophies of raising children in
their early, early years is that they just have all of their needs met; not
be permissive and get to do whatever they want to do, but as babies have
their needs met, which means being held when they cry, and that sort of
thing.  I don't know how to do that and work.  So that is something I am
trying to figure that out, how to balance that.  I do need a certain amount
of income, but I also want to be there to nurture and meet all those
emotional needs until she is separated enough from me that she can be on
her own from me. Our culture is still not clear about that.  We don't know
where the appropriate lines are and there is such debates that go in
different extremes.  So, that's something I have been mulling over the last
week or so.

Daniel: Remember that Jesus put his family first and delayed his work until
the needs of his family were met, as a good father/brother in Joseph's
stead.  My advice is that you put the nurturance of this baby first,
absolutely first, and trust that the promise of care and sustenance for you
by your caretakers will meet your needs.  But there is no one who can
replace you as parent, as mother.  You will have to work from day to day on
these very real situations .  It is a time of change for you, PamElla, for
you are moving from a sense of self which is connected with your work and
has been so strongly, to now a sense of self as parent of this, your baby.
A new experience for you.  I don't have anything else that I can be more
specific.

Nancy: You were very specific, thank you.  I agree.  Certainly you just
said what my "knowing " says.

Daniel: This is my last word, which is always the same word: Go within.
Bring everything into the presence of your Thought Adjuster.  You will
receive infallible assistance.  Trust that the guidance that you hear and
feel is trustworthy; not the flighty emotional leadings that may come to
your mind but the solid, comfortable rock solid feeling of guidance that
may feel as though it is in this part of your body(points to mid-chest),
that assurance.  For you can be sure that guidance sincerely asked for will
be given.  You know this from your own experience already, and it will
continue to be true.

I am now going to honor my TR's discomfort with his throat and bring us to
a conclusion.  Let us all stand and join hands.

My Father, I give you thanks for these little ones, my brothers and sisters
who have allowed me to offer my guidance, my comfort over these many years.
 I thank you for the Spirit of Michael that dwells in all of us so that we
can aspire to the kind of unbroken connection with You that Michael
experienced in his final humanity perfection.  May each of these feel the
faith within them welling up to joy, to worship, and to the great
anticipation of one day standing in Your very presence.  Even so, may it
be.  Amen.