[tmtranscripts] Olfana on "Self-Love, Dancing thru Life, Loving Others"

[Susan Kimsey]

Hi everyone,

Happy New Year!  One of my new year's resolutions is to finally get
transcribed some of the Half Moon Bay transmissions that have piled up over
the past nine years that I have not yet had time to work on.  Two of my good
friends, Beth Diggs and Donna D'Ingillo, are now helping me with the
transcribing, so I am hopeful that I will be able to get many more
transcripts done, so that I can share them on the TM lists.

This transcript is an excerpt from a private session in which Olfana
counsels a woman in her mid 40's.  "B" has come to this session feeling
somewhat depressed, conflicted about a personal relationship with a man she
is romantically involved with, and "out of touch" with her relationship to
God.  I am sharing this transcript because I think many of the issues that
Olfana discusses with "B" are applicable to others, and I thought you might
find it interesting to see how the Teachers work with people in a personal,
or "one to one" session.

Love,  Susan
___________________________________________

Olfana on "Self-Love, Dancing through Life, & Loving Others"
07/25/00

B:  I guess I just want to know if it is a bad idea for me to consider
having a personal relationship with [the man she is romantically involved
with].

Olfana:  Not if you create this foundation first of your relationship with
yourself and God.  Any and all relationships will become much more healthy,
my dear, in potential, if you will turn now to the focus upon this
relationship with yourself and God as one of your highest priorities.  Just
as you care so much about the quality of your relationship with your
children, and others whom you love, loving yourself, B, is also being in
relationship with God.  It is not always the case that people understand
this easily.  They view loving themselves as still something separate from
loving God, the Father.  Yet, I would suggest to you that this is a very
deeply tied-together relationship.  To the extent that you can glory in God,
you will also glory in the gifts He has placed within you.  You will come to
appreciate and adore yourself in a healthy, positive, way-- nothing of an
ego glorification, but truly as a Child of God.  (Smiling)  You will see
what He loves in you, and love it in yourself!  Is this clearly stated for
you now?

B:  Yes.

Olfana:  Very good.  Is there a further topic that you would like to discuss
now?

B: [Comments that she is not feeling sure that God loves her.]

Olfana:  Very good.  There is again something of "the searcher" in you, B.
[Note: This is a reference to an earlier discussion in the transmission
about B's relationship to her parents.]  This pattern that began with your
early parenting; the pattern by which you were parented, creates in you a
tendency to never be quite sure where you stand-- whether it be in the eyes
of your parents, or the Eyes of God.  And, very much so, this can be the
case for many people--this crisis of, "Am I indeed worthy now for God to
love me?"  "Have I done enough in being myself now?"  I would say to you
that you are to be commended for all the ways in which you have thus far
taken on the challenges of life.

No one gets through this world, B, without some amount of failure.  Even
Christ Michael, as Jesus, experienced those failures, at times, in his own
way of being, in his own attempt to experience life, and took from those
moments of defeat a deeper wisdom, a greater understanding of himself, I
would say.  There were many more conversations than the Urantia Book even
alludes to where Jesus's discussions with his mother, Mary, became fraught
with tension, became episodes of great exasperation and frustration for him.
There were others who, in rejecting his ministry, caused him a certain
amount of heartbreak, I would say, B.  He was ever hopeful of the
possibility of reaching out to all of those who heard his words of counsel
and ministry.  Always his desire was to touch their hearts.  And when some
turned away from him, some chose not to listen, this was not always a
neutral experience for the Master, emotionally.  He did, indeed, desire with
his human heart, especially, to offer love and be loved by those he
ministered to.  His human heart did indeed experience being broken at times.
If this can be true of the Master, then certainly it applies to us in our
own struggles as time and space mortals.

Can you agree that this then is "the nature of the game," I would say?  That
this is the definition, the rules, by which we live in this world?  So, if
you are asking of me some final summation, as it were, of where you stand
now in life, I would ask you to be most kind to yourself now in your
appraisal, because you are looking at it with the limited perspective that
you hold now of your own life.  Much more of what you have experienced will
become your soul's treasure once you pass on.  For now, some of it just
seems "yucky," just seems like something you are even glad is behind you,
and no longer a current possibility of your experiences.  But this is not
the way in which you will view it in the long run, I would say.

(Smiling)  I would ask you to dance more with yourself now, B.  "Lighten
 up," in a sense as to any amount of your self-appraisal.  You are one who
can discover more of the glory of life by actually moving into it with a
more open-minded, open-hearted ability to trust that you will enjoy the
dance once you have begun it.  It's fun to dance, isn't it?  It's fun to
move our bodies to the music, to sway and swing and feel ourselves gracing
the air--whether we are in our best selves, our most appealing
attractiveness in our youth, or even as we age.  You, I know, are one who is
charmed to see older people dancing--their frail little bodies, and yet the
way in which they will shuffle and sway and risk appearing even foolish just
in order to find this pleasure of the dance.

I would say to you now--do not remain the spectator of this.  But join in,
B, and let yourself dance more through life now!  Even in the mundane
aspects of your daily activities, dance out of the car and into the grocery
store.  Dance with the laundry basket from the bedroom down to the washing
machine.  Dance yourself out of the shower, and waltz with the towel as you
dry yourself.  Keep this as a clear visceral image in your mind, that you
are intentionally joining into the dance of life.  Especially, my dear, if
you choose to engage in a sexual encounter with someone you feel love
toward, as you lie there in their embrace, feel that you are indeed dancing
with them, and you will find so much of what you consider the potential
problems of such a possibility dissolving.  If you can become a dancer in
the world, B, you will be entertaining others in the beauty of this, and
you, yourself, will find your heart swelling and rising, and more and more
you will come to understand that in these moments of dancing through life,
you are indeed engaged in this with your Thought Adjuster.  You are not
dancing alone!  You are with the God-Force and the God Energy in such an
experience, and it is a powerful elixir, B, that will continue to give you
what you need in the way of a positive attitude about who you are, and what
you are about, and what you wish to accomplish in the world.  Do you find
this something you can respond to now, something that resonates within you?

B:  (Hesitant)  Oh, in a way..

Olfana:  I would suggest to you that the more you attempt it, the more
comfortable it will become as a way of viewing yourself.  Is it not the case
that when we have become the wallflower at the dance, and have stood against
the wall for too long a time, that when we finally are approached and asked
to dance, our initial steps can be most filled with tension--most guarded, I
would say.

B:  (Somewhat defensively)  I don't know where you are getting the idea that
I do that.  I have chosen to be what I am right now, and I never was a
wallflower until recently, and I chose to put myself there.

Olfana:  (Gently)  And yet I would say to you, my dear, many people can
choose to be in a wallflower role.  This is not something where just society
rejects them.  Sometimes it is the case that a person does not feel worthy
of the dance, worthy of the relationship, worthy of the possibilities.  They
're there on the sidelines, in a sense longing for something different, and
yet for whatever the reasons, they stay within a zone, within a body posture
even, at times, that makes others feel they are not available.  I am saying
to you that this is the definition I'm offering to you now of yourself, at
times.

B:  I'm not available?

Olfana:  Exactly.  You are clearly conveying to people, "I am not ready now
to dance with you.   I am not interested in dancing now.  I like where I am.
I choose to be here.  Leave me alone!"  I am saying to you that if you
continue in this path, then you will indeed reap what you sow.  You will
remain unengaged, disengaged, and lacking the opportunities that another
part of your heart is longing for now, B.  This is the quandary that exists
here now....(Smiling) Not all of B wishes to be a wallflower any longer!
There is something else stirring now in you.  I am suggesting to you that it
is indeed time to get on with dancing in life.  It is time to step forward,
and even just make yourself available for new opportunities, new
experiences, new people to engage themselves with you.

But if you are not willing from your side to suggest this in your attitude,
in your body posture, in the choices you make as to where you will even be
in the world, then this will not happen as easily.  So, I would say, if you
can incorporate this perspective of yourself dancing in the world, even
within your privacy, even within your own home when there is no one to
witness this in you, if you will begin to dance more in life, B, this will
indeed have a spillover effect into all the other moments of your life when
you are around others.  It will change the way in which you "show up" to the
world.  Is there anything further then you would ask of me in terms of our
discussion?

B:  [Thanks Olfana for her advice, and comments, as a Urantia Book reader,
that she is still just finding out about the Teaching Mission.]

Olfana:  And I do indeed suggest to you, my dear, that this is not the only
possibility of this interaction with the Teachers for you. You are being
introduced to the concept of the Teaching Mission and the Teachers for a
greater purpose than just your own personal experience. There are ways in
which you can choose to engage yourself with this movement, with this
Campaign of Redemption for the world, that have remarkable possibilities for
yourself. And yet, I realize that this is something where the doors are just
opening.  I do not expect you to, in any way, fully grasp or comprehend what
I am alluding to, or suggesting. But I do wish to put this on the table now,
B. There are ways in which your strengths, your abilities, your gifts and
potentials, can and will be utilized by those of us who minister now to this
planet, if you wish to pursue this relationship. At the same time, I do not
in any way mean to suggest that there is any pressure for you to choose
this. It is a totally open-ended suggestion I am making now. If you do not
seek any further information or contact with this, do not feel at all this
means there will be a dearth of other possibilities for you. God is most
abundant, B, in the way in which opportunities are presented to His Children
to grow. God is not finished with you, B, not by a long shot, and there is
much more ahead of you now that will be appealing and powerful and
personally gratifying in your life experiences. You are in something of a
trough, something of a slump. But I am telling you that it is acute, rather
than chronic. By attending to the physical requirements of yourself as I
suggested early in this transmission, and at the same time remembering to
engage yourself in the dance of life, dance you way through your days, you
will find yourself climbing out of this trough, and moving on into areas of
life where you will indeed have beautiful vistas before you.

B:  [Thanks Olfana for her advice, and says she will consider carefully what
Olfana has suggested to her.]

Olfana:  You are most welcome, my dear. I have enjoyed my time with you, and
I appreciate the fact that you have opened yourself to this opportunity. I
remain optimistic about the choices that you will make concerning any and
all of what we have discussed. There is strength in your nature, B, of the
survivor, I would say. You know how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off,
and get on with life. I have no doubt that this will be the essential
reaction that you will have now to facing yourself, and realizing that there
are healthier ways in which you can manage yourself, your thoughts, your
attitudes.  I look toward your future with a definite sense of optimistic
anticipation as to where you will move next. I would like us to close this
session with a prayer. Are you comfortable with this?  (Yes)  Very well. I
would ask you to please hold hands with S.

I would like us to pray together in this manner, B.  I wish to make a
statement and ask you to then repeat it, or perhaps, even if it feels
comfortable, respond at time with whatever comes into your own heart. Is
this all right with you?

B:  OK

Olfana:  Father, we are glorified in our connection with You. (Can you
repeat this now, please?)  You take us from the earth and you turn us into
your golden treasure. Your hand sculpts us with great love. And we become
beautiful, Father, by your guidance. Help me, Father, now to become all I
wish to be. Make me, Father, (and now I would ask you, B, to say what you
choose) Make me, Father, more .......... and in this manner I will
.............., and in this process I will find in my heart Your Peace and
Joy. Amen.

That was most lovely, and I so much appreciated your own creative input to
my prayer, B. I have most enjoyed our time together. I view you as a friend,
and indeed as one of my students. I am most pleased that we have had this
time of contact.  I suggest to you that I will make myself available to you
in the future.  And you are not necessarily bound to this relationship by
the intermediary of S as a TR. I come to my students of their own behest,
and I am perfectly willing to work with you directly in the future, if you
wish it. I would simply ask that you take my counsel, and indeed develop
first, more of the sense of the regimen of the stillness, or meditation, as
a healing time for you now. From this we will see what comes in terms of my
own ability to make further contact with you.

B:  [Agrees that she will try this stillness practice, or meditation, and
looks forward to hearing again from Olfana.

Olfana:  (Smiling)  Good!  I am glad you feel this way about it.  I feel the
same way.  I will close now by giving you my blessing, and offering you my
love and friendship as an ongoing possibility.  Namaste, my dear.

Half Moon Bay, CA Teaching Mission Group
www.hmbtm.com