[tmtranscripts] S.E. Idaho Transcript 5-3-02

[Bill Kelly]

S.E. Idaho TeaM
5-3-02

Prayer by Bill: May we be mindful of the words of the Lord Jesus who said,
"Where two or three are gathered, I am there in the midst".  Help us to
focus our attention on that still small voice within us that whispers, so
that our deepest needs may be met.  Amen

Aaron(Bill): Let us begin our session together, my friends.  I am Aaron who
has not departed from this teaching base, although I have not been vocally
present recently.  We are pleased to see your children in attendance with
you at a meeting whose intention is to contact your spiritual side with
greater consistency and effectiveness.  You display your loyalty to your
highest ideals when you come to gatherings of this nature, for whenever you
do that you show forth the most important desires in your life.  As has
already been told you by this TR, our topic tonight is the courage to ask
your heart's desire.

Our Master, Jesus, often and consistently put forth this concept to his
followers and especially to his Apostles, that people languished in
spiritual poverty and in emotional thirst because they did not have the
humility to ask God for what they really desired.  You see, in those days
such an intimate relationship with God was not a part of the religion of
Israel.  The personal nature of parent/child and father/son or daughter
relationship with God was not understood or accepted by all but a very few
of Jesus' contemporaries.  God was conceived of as the father of the
nation, but not that loving intimate individual Whom Jesus referred to as
"Daddy".  Many were startled when the Master insisted that they ask for
what they truly desired and that in the asking they would experience the
reality of their relationship as a child to their heavenly Father and
receive from Him every good gift. 

We will not take time to talk about the asking of things which are less
than optimal or for requests having to do with self centered concerns, for
Jesus was not referring to these kinds of prayers.  He was rather referring
to the greatest and most important needs that human beings have: to be
understood and accepted as they were; to be honored and valued because of
their intrinsic worth as persons; to be able to say, "Abba", Daddy, when
speaking with God.

I have been asked to lead this feedback part of our meeting and this is the
question that I wish you to respond to:  Really and truly, as far as you
know your own mind and heart, what is the greatest thing that you desire?
If you can put it into words, will you ask it of God?  

I realize this is hardly a light weight exercise that I am requesting of
you, but I will not force these answers from your lips.  We could respond
spontaneously in whatever order appears or we could use some structure,
moving around the circle.  I realize that the question is sufficiently
weighty that it does not need additional pressure which might be the case
if we go around the circle.  Will you be willing to respond spontaneously?
Can you answer me audibly?

Group: Um hum.  Yes.

Bob P: I prefer to go from left to right. (So he would be last!)  (Laughter)

Aaron: So I have heard an affirmation for both methods?  (More laughter)  

Bob: You can see better than that.

Aaron: Very well, let us begin.  (Pause)

Mike: Well, I'll begin.  You say, what's your heart's desire, you know.
The biggest thing that I really want in my  life is a better relationship
with my family, especially my kids.  I know that personally I have a lot of
drawbacks as to where I am in my life.  I lose so much by being gone [Mike
is a railroad engineer] and not having a really good understanding of
Morgan, especially, and Hannah, Lori, and it bothers me.  But I know that
we are working on it.  Lori is helping me a lot, and I do ask for help.
Hopefully help will continue to be there, because it is important to me!

Aaron: Indeed, my friend.  Thank you for your honesty and for your lovely
sentiment.  To desire to be a better father to your children and to be more
intimately connected to your family is, without doubt, a most noble goal.
For you have discovered, by the very nature of your wish, what is really
important in life, your relationships and especially as they are nurtured
and brought to potential within the family.  Mike, I can tell you for
certain that you shall receive the answer to your desire.  Yes, it will be
as a result of many things, but mostly your own effective participation.
Thank you for having the courage to lead off.  Will another please respond.

Ken: Yes, Aaron, I will.  Welcome to our group this evening.  Again, you
raise a little anxiety in me with your questions and your requirements.  I
guess my question and my desire is, "How to be more effective in reaching
and communicating with the Father".

Aaron: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness", said
our Lord, " for they shall be filled".  The hungering and the thirsting is
crucial. You have expressed this hunger and this thirst for communion with
your Indwelling Adjuster.  Think about this.  How does one quench their
thirst and how does one satisfy their hunger?  By eating and drinking.
Therefore, my suggestion is that you not quell your appetite by eating
snacks between meals. (Chuckling) Allow your hunger to become substantial
so that when you partake of that meal of the Spirit you will feel
satisfied.  Also, my comments are just introductory, for surely with such a
desire, these is a guaranteed answer.  You will receive what you wish for.
Thank you for expressing yourself here in the company of your peers.

Ken: Thank you for your answer, Aaron.  Very enjoyable.  Very insightful.
Thank you.

Aaron: You are welcome.  Who will be next?

Pat: Well, I'll take a shot at this.  Aaron, I'm not prepared to mention a
very personal thing I desire at this time.  But one thing I desire is ...as
you said about Jesus with people's values ...I desire so much that this
world can learn to value peace for every one involved with war and believe
in all the help that we are getting.  I know and appreciate that very much.
 I just desire so much that we Urantians can truly respect one another.  

Aaron: My dear sister, your desire for world peace and the cessation of war
and conflict, which is what I detect in your tone, this desire for the
coming of Light and Life to this planet, is also one of our greatest
desires.  Have I understood you correctly?

Pat: Yes.

Aaron.  You will not see it with your mortal eyes but remember, ere you
leave this mortality behind you, you will see more progress.  Most
importantly, I would affirm that you will join us in your ascension career
so that you will see, as we will, your desire come to pass.  Not, as I
said, during your lifetime, but you shall in time behold the answer to your
great desire.  Some day we will look back on these very meetings and we
will laugh about the difficulty many of you, including this TR, had with
this whole communication process.  You and I will laugh at the struggles we
have had with our egos, those egos that were so badly damaged by the
Lucifer Rebellion and its aftereffects through the centuries.  We will
laugh because we will see how foolish were so many of our concerns; how
vain were our fears; how needless was our anxiety.  We will not laugh in
derision.  We will laugh as we see the humor from a larger perspective.
Know that your prayer, your desire is our desire, and it shall be answered.
Thank you, Pat.

Pat:   Thank you, Aaron.

Aaron: Isaac, it is your turn!

Bill: Well, that's not cool!  How come he designates me?  He didn't
designate anyone else. (Group chuckles)

Ken: He wanted to give you a break. (More snickering from group)

Bill: At this point in my life, one of my greatest desires is to spend the
rest of my days in such a way that I can continue to truly be a help to
other people.  I am looking forward to that in relationship to my family.
But I just don't want my retirement years to be sort of a slow fizzle out
of the fire of service.  I don't want it to be a bunch of dying embers in
the fireplace.  I guess that's it.

Aaron: This is Aaron.  Have no fear, my friend, that you will become
useless baggage at the expense of your children or that your worth
diminishes with the strength of your body.  While aging is unavoidable, you
have learned an important lesson, that the meaning of life is not wrapped
up in comfort and self centered living.  You know that true joy comes from
following the guidance of your Indwelling Spirit and serving your brothers
and sisters.  So, do not worry that you will become weary in well doing,
for giving to others that which you have strengthens life and does not
diminish it   Just let go of ego worries.  You'll be fine.

Bill: Thank you.

Aaron: I am Aaron.  Who would like to be next?

Virginia: Well, Aaron, two people have really expressed what I was thinking
about.  Number one, to honestly know and believe that I am doing the will
of God.  The other one was the wish that would really solve everything.  It
would be that Light and Life would arrive.  I know I won't see that.  But I
am also very impatient.  I would like to see the sky light up and the truth
be written all over the skies and everything would be great! We would all
believe and everything would be wonderful.  Only I know it doesn't work
that way.  And, of course, family relationships...terribly important.  I am
growing old.  I am the oldest one here.   But, I don't worry about getting
old because I have lots of energy and do pretty much what I want to do.

Aaron: You have one desire expressed in two ways.  You desire to do the
will of God and you wish everybody else would also.

Virginia: But I don't know what the will of God is for me always, so how do
I know what it is for them!  

Aaron: But you do know the will of God for you and you have a very good
idea what it is for the whole planet.  It is to recognize who everyone is,
brothers and sisters, because they are children of one Source and Center.  

You referred to the Serenity Prayer as a guideline which has meaning for
you.  The response to your statement about miraculous means to bring about
the desired end, that all should do the will of God, is discussed in the
prayer as the acceptance of that which you cannot change.  You are rightly
concerned with the second part of the prayer, the courage to change what
you can, which is yourself, as you know.  But the hardest part of this
prayer for most people is the last part, the wisdom to know the difference
between what you can change and what you cannot.  For some err on the side
of passivity and only think of the first part of the prayer, passively
accepting everything that comes to them.  Others struggle to control as
much as possible and have difficulty with acceptance.  So what is needed is
to ask for wisdom.  You can be assured that when you ask for wisdom it will
be forthcoming.  For anyone who is wise enough to ask for wisdom will
definitely receive it.  Are there other comments from those who have not
shared?

Bob P.  Anybody in mind in particular?  (Laughter) When I think about these
types of things, it sounds easy, but it sure isn't because one of the
things that I think I would desire the most relates to faith.  I actually
feel like I have that at some level.  But it is not a real clear guiding
reference point for me where I can identify exactly what that faith is in.
I see some people with a fairly definite, not unwavering, but fairly
definite faith in God and God's Spirit.  I don't know that I experience
that same faith.  I think I have faith in my concept of what God is, but
not necessarily on the same level that I see in a lot of people.  I think
the easy answer is, "Ask and you will receive" and that wanting faith will
result in getting faith.  I am not convinced necessarily that that is true.
 I have heard of people saying, "Well a lot of folks have a conversion
experience".  I don't know that this is necessarily happening or that this
is faith, but we make TV shows and movies about that.  It certainly seems
to work there.  The reality is that I am pretty enthralled with life and
Spirit and all of that now.  But I also feel like there is still a faith
issue, because I don't know what my faith is.  I know I am more content
about having one, but I sure can't put my finger on it.

Aaron: May I attempt to rephrase your statement... 

 Bob: (laughing) If it is shorter than what I said, sure.

Aaron...and see if I grasped the essence?  My understanding of what you
said is that while you desire faith, you don't want credulity.  You desire
a faith that you earn and achieve by your own effort and struggle rather
than something magically dumped into your head in conversion experience,
for example.

Bob: I'd take that!  But the point...yeah, I think you're right.  I don't
know about the earning part, but I am saying that people seem to come
across faith in a number of ways and I haven't had that experience, I don't
think.

Aaron: You remind me of the person who approached Jesus with a mixed mind.
He said, "I believe, help my unbelief.  In other words, there is some sort
of faith in the understanding of God.  But you are willing to have that
expanded, however that may come about.  Is this accurate?

Bob: I think that might be...

Aaron: May I make a recommendation?

Bob: Sure.

Aaron: Continue to pursue your open minded attitude in reading the Urantia
Book among other things and continue to let your soul flow with the grace
which is yours in great abundance, by the way.  You are correct in your
assessment that you are a man of faith.  It is not your heart that is
blocked.  It is not your mind either, but it is more in your mind than in
your heart, if you follow my understanding.

Bob: Um Huh.

Aaron: To those who have high intellectual gifts, more problems are
apparent, whereas simpler minds do not see as much to distress
them..(laughter from group).  It is one of the side effects of the major
gift of ability.  I am honored to have you ask this question, for to strive
for a living and satisfying faith is a most worthy goal, indeed.  Thank you.

Bob: Thank you.

Nancy: When dad, Bill, stated before the lesson began that he knew what the
lesson was about and that it was, "Ask and you shall receive", the topic
took me back to one of my very early meetings in our first Michael
celebration that we had in the Teaching Mission here in this house.  I
asked a question with a lot of conflict of Ham.  His response to me was,
"Ask, and you shall receive".  I was very annoyed!  (Laughter).  However,
sometime after that I started experimenting with "Ask and you shall
receive" and asking in particular about the fruits of the Spirit.  When I
felt myself short on patience, I asked for patience, courage,
understanding, forgiveness, depending on the situation and what I felt I
needed.  It seems that I made remarkable strides!   It was like cruising
down the moving sidewalks in the airport..I love to walk fast on those.  

Aaron, you led into your beginning statement and the rephrasing of it was
just powerful!  It sent me searching to find my heart's true desire because
I have asked for so much and I have received so much.  Many of the things
have been resolved for me for which I was asking at earlier points in time.
 The other thing that passed through my mind in all of this regarding your
opening topic.  It took me back to a learning exercise that I did twelve
years ago, in which we were to ask for what we wanted, which was more in
the material realm, and we were to look at what the emotional experience
was that this led us to.  For example, I wanted a new dress.  Why?  So I
could look pretty.  Why?  And going back and back with that type of looking
for deeper understanding.  So I kind of went reeling on that question and
passed right into what Pat said.  It almost took me back to early childhood
where I wanted so much to see the world without hunger, without war, and
all of that, see the rivers running clean and the air clear, and flowers
brilliant.  What I finally came down to was a single word which was,
purpose.  I wanted my life to have purpose in that greater sense of those
large social issues.  That took me to, "Father, I want to be of service to
You in the healing of this planet".  And that is my first desire.  
I am so glad that I get to dabble in absurd ways in my job, because when I
look at it with just the eyes of ego, as our human nature, there doesn't
seem to be much going on there but a lot of legal jostling.  But I feel
like it has purpose and somehow it will take me to that greater sense of
purpose for which I search.  It is good to be here, tonight.

Aaron: Yes, PamElla, thank you.  You have in your soliloquy traced your
heart's desire back to your roots, to your first conscious awareness of the
presence of your Indwelling Spirit, for those yearnings come from no lessor
source.  The evolutionary universes that we are a part of yearn for the
same thing, their completion in perfection, in perfectedness.  Your
residence on this particularly afflicted planet only heightens that desire
to see the harmony and beauty of Paradise replicated through evolutionary
development.  You have pointed out that many of your wishes and desires
that were so passionately present in your mind as a younger person, have
now finally come to pass.  Be assured, my dear, that we all shall all
rejoice in the completion of the desire of your heart as well, to see this
world, this system, this constellation, this universe, this superuniverse
and eventually all of the grand universe achieve absolute perfectedness.  

I can only offer you my opinion about your career.  It appears to me that
you are acting out your desire.  You do not know the outcome of all the
many decisions that you make on a daily basis, as to how this affects the
web of interaction of the whole that you are so intimately involved with.
You have learned to come from Spirit and not from ego in this; for this is
the desire of your Spirit which you experience.  It shall come to pass that
upon the review of all of your lives, if you stay the course with Spirit,
you shall be very satisfied.

My dear Lori, do you wish to conclude the meeting?

Lori and Virginia: There is Marty, too!

Aaron: That's right, my apologies.

Lori: If I can express my heart's desire on a personal level...I would like
more understanding.  That's where I seem to fail.  Understanding my family
as individuals, my peers, people all around...and myself, and being
understood.

Aaron: Thank you for expressing this important desire.  Understanding is
the root from which the tree of love and forgiveness is nurtured.  The more
you understand yourself and others, the more you will be able to love
yourself and them.  To become more educated is the result of exposure and
effort.  Understanding, beyond the capacity of your natural cognitive
ability, is a matter of work and effort.  Since I know you to be one who is
dutiful, energetic and highly motivated, I am positive that you will have a
major part in answering your own desire.  In addition to your effort, be
willing to listen to the voice of wisdom which comes to you from your
teachers, from your Indwelling Spirit, from your comrades, your brothers
and sisters, and also remember that out of the mouth of babes has come many
a wise word.  

By the way, we wish to commend you and Mike in your efforts to expand the
understanding of your children.  We have already commented on this, but
know that if you need further encouragement, we support your efforts.

Lori: Thank you, Aaron.

Aaron: Marty, my TR apologizes for he has a way of getting in the way.  Do
you wish to speak your thoughts?

Marty: I think they have been covered by several others in bits and pieces.
I am still very much struggling to listen to my Thought Adjuster in order
to better know the will of God and to know, as the Serenity Prayer says,
whether it is my will or God's will.  I am still back, struggling with that
piece of it.  Sometimes I get after myself, but that doesn't help anything.
 You just have to work on it.  That would be my heart's desire, to better
listen to my Thought Adjuster and the teachers and know God's will; at
least have a more confident opinion that I was doing God's will a lot of
times, instead of my own selfish will more than I would like.

Aaron: Thank you.  The quest to bring yourself into alignment with the will
of God is the highest goal that a mortal can strive for!  Your struggles
are noted.  I would say this to you: You cannot accurately estimate your
progress.  You can only know the sincerity of your own heart.  Keep your
sincerity intact and don't worry about progress.  If you sincerely desire
to do God's will, it shall be revealed to you...maybe not with trumpets and
loud announcements, but with that feeling that you have within, that
peaceful feeling, that joyful feeling.  These are the indicators of that
harmony, that personality balance.

In conclusion to all of you I would simply say, remember what you discussed
earlier.  When you are not peaceful and not joyful, ask yourself, "Has my
ego gotten half way up the steps leading to the throne?  Or has it actually
ascended and sat there?"  Well, if so, your ego is your servant.  You
decide and put it back among the servants around your personality will
center.  

My friends, this has been a most delightful evening.  I appreciate your
100% cooperation and participation.  I hope that you have all learned
something more about yourself in the process.  With that, let us all stand.
 Daniel will close our meeting.

Daniel(Bill): My friends, let us be in prayer.  

Michael, our older Brother and Creator/Father, we are Your children.  We
are brothers and sisters connected to each other with more than just hand
holding, but with hearts that are of the same nature, the nature of God,
Himself.  I thank you for these students, these little ones who are willing
to have us instruct them and guide them.  I look forward to the time when
we will be morontia companions.  Give them all a real lift in their
innards, in their souls.  As they move through the days of this week may
they experience the joy of a balanced and centered personality.   So that
we may be your sons and daughters in truth, we ask these things.  Amen.