[tmtranscripts] Welmek, Oct 3, 2002

[Donna DIngillo]

WELMEK- FAITHFULNESS
OCTOBER 3, 2002

Good evening. This is your friend and teacher, Welmek; and I bid a
personal greeting to C. this evening who joins us for the first time.
Welcome!

Tonight I have selected the idea of FAITHFULNESS as our topic of
discussion,  keeping the idea of fullness, which we began last week as
the theme for our latest round of discussion. I will be presenting a
variety of lessons on the idea of fullness, as you will see in the coming
weeks. 

Tonight I wish to focus on the faithfulness perspective and energetic
essence so that you may become imbued with not only the idea of what
living in faith entails, but also the experience of being in the faith
grasp of gravity movement toward the Creator for you to gain a greater
appreciation for your walk and your devotion to your spiritual growth.  

Therefore, I wish to lead you on an exercise of going within. I wish for
you to now think of an experience in your life that was particularly
challenging – but one that had a fruitful and productive outcome. Recall
in your mind the nature of this experience. Spend a few moments now in
contemplative recollection, then we will continue. 

Now when you have this mental picture clearly in your mind, ask yourself,
“Did I understand what was happening to me while I was in the experience?
Did I know what the outcome was going to be? Did I have any expectations
of a possible outcome? Did I trust that the outcome would be productive
to me?”  

Spend a few moments now summarizing your experience in this recollection,
and when you are ready please share what you felt when you were going
through the experience, and what you felt when you realized the outcome. 

Student: Welmek, I could summarize what I had, because of an experience
that I had, more recently, along with my daughter at a “Who Am I”
seminar: Shocking loss with sudden divorce-desire by my first wife. Then
anguish while trying to salvage it.  Then eventually greater faith due to
the fact that my philosophy held-up through the tragedy; what I perceived
as a shocking tragedy.  Truly I could see the outcome, but there was
definitely anguish before the outcome was palpable.  

Welmek:  Would you say when you experienced the anguish that you could
see a positive result on the horizon?  

Student:  Yes, I could because I was dealing with leukemia and autopsies
and death and dying.  I could see the outcome but the anguish wouldn’t go
away right away.

Welmek:  But you nevertheless were able to sense that there was the
potential for something good to come out of this experience?

Student:  Yes, that’s what was so shocking.  I could see the whole thing
– that my character would be strengthened – but it was going to take a
long time, and I was going to be in a lower functioning arena for a long
time.  And that, luckily, it resolved more quickly than I thought it
would.  But it still seemed to take a long time.  

Welmek:  How would you summarize that this has impacted your ability to
trust in the Father?

Student:  I feel that it – the ability to absorb some and understand some
of Jesus’ character, like longsuffering – made  me trust all the more in
the universe - that the plan of eventual growth and progress is really
for everybody.  (Thank you.)   

Student: Yes, Welmek, this is D.  And what I experienced, as I was going
through the experience was like a sort of being “baked”, like all the
unsavoriness of my past – all the negativity, and all the dysfunction
that I was a part of, possibly, kind of became magnified.  In fact I felt
like I was under a magnifying glass, that everything was being exposed. 
And at the same time there was this underlying faith, that I was being
propelled towards a greater understanding of who I am.  In fact I felt
like I was being crucified.  In fact I had the actual experience of that,
during one night.  And I just saw - I became aware and understood what
Jesus, or who Jesus was all about, and who He was in relationship to me,
and to the Universe.  And what I got out of this was a closer  communion
with God, and a great connection and awareness of who I am in the grand
scheme of things.

Welmek:  Did you feel this underlying foundation of faith while you were
actually, as you say, under the microscope?  

Student:  Yes I did!  It was there.  It was like I was going back and
forth in terms of the mental anguish and the emotional anguish of it all.
 But I also knew deep down that my mantra, in a sense, is “truth will
always prevail” and that’s what kept me going: the understanding that
truth prevails always, no matter the situation.

Welmek:  So, would you say you were able to actually sense the truth as a
catalyst to allow the emotional anguish to be expelled or released from
your being?

Student:  To a greater proportion, yes.  Yes!  Whenever, even to this
day, if I feel any unsavoriness in myself or any emotional or mental
anguish, I quickly turn around and affirm the Father in truth and in
love.  Because that’s the reality.  (Thank you.)

Student:  Welmek, the situation I’m recalling for this exercise, happened
a long time ago in my middle twenties.  It was a yearlong process of
becoming disengaged from the life that I had been living up until then –
including becoming separated from: wife, leaving my job, child, and
eventually leaving the entire community with the readiness, by then, over
a period of a year to never come back, never have contact with anybody in
the past, change my name, and have a completely new life.  

In the process of that as I left, finally, I had an incident where I had
a meeting with two women, one of whom had been a child abandoned by her
father.  And she proceeded to tell me every single reason why it’s not a
good idea for someone to abandon or let go of or step out of a family
situation like that.  And that was what I was facing.  And I found it
very fascinating, that as I listened very carefully to every single
argument, that I realized in the process that I felt no necessity to go
back, and that I was fully prepared to proceed to go ahead, because that
yearlong disengagement process which was not that enjoyable, covered
every single element that I had to have responsibly covered, one way or
another.  

And within a short time after that, I discovered what it was all about,
and it was the beginning of the spiritual path.  And I’ve been
participating in that spiritual path for many decades since.  So I had
the faith, and it built up, I guess, over a period of time.  And it was
tested, and it was confirmed.  

Welmek:  At the time of your struggle, did you sense a directional force
moving you in a certain path or unfolding?

Student: Yes, I did, very definitely!  It was an internal guidance, and
it was a sentence – long sentence that I had mentioned to a few people I
know, and I can repeat it now.  It was a sentence that kept popping into
my mind throughout the course of the year, as I was working, at odd
moments.  And the sentence was that, “I was to go out into the world,
anywhere it would take, to find the highest people in the world and the
highest knowledge in the world – the top one percent, which I could
apprehend, so that I could come back into the world again.”  I had been a
counselor at that time.  And this time to help more people, more
effectively, with more different types of problems and more resources,
and not get drained in the process.  And this was the paraphrase of what
the sentence was.  And it kept coming back into my mind many times.  So I
proceeded along those lines, and it’s held me in good stead all of these
years.  

Welmek:  Would you say that when you received this sentence that it
instilled a sense of confidence or clarity of purpose within you?  

Student:  Definitely!  And it did that and it provided a cushion of,
comfort is a good word, because it was very painful becoming separated
from my child, my wife, my job – everything in my whole existence.  So
there was continuity there.  (Thank you.) 

Student:  May I speak? I’m thinking back to a time when I’m leaving a job
that had grown on me.  And yet I felt more and more being dishonest with
myself, and limited in who I was capable of being.  And I had the image
of a monkey with his hand in the jar holding onto something and unable to
get the hand out of the jar.  But finally, with some kind of momentary
prompting, I was able to release myself from that job, and face whatever
was coming up next for me.  And I always felt that I was a teacher; and
so I began to teach dance, and jobs came to me in a variety of
serendipitous ways.  And many jobs came and went, maybe, some good ideas
failed, and finally with the teaching of small children, I – as much as I
loved being in the moment with the tiny ones – I ultimately didn’t really
like the result. So, I had another prompting, and I left that job and
feel like I’ve been in free-fall for awhile. Certainly not a life and
death situation, but very uncomfortable nonetheless. I feel like I’ve
always been a teacher, but what am I teaching?  

Welmek:  Do you find that your ability to trust in an unseen outcome is
growing, receding, or staying static?  

Student:  There seems to be bursts of growth, and then a pulling back,
and then waiting.  

Welmek:  Have you encountered this dynamic within your being, and life
experience before?

Student:  I believe I have!  

Welmek:  And can you ascertain from prior experiences that this dynamic
now of which you speak is similarly affecting you, and that the outcome
would be gainful to you?

Student:  It seems like putting my faith in the outer world has brought
disappointment.  I think I’m looking for a way to give, and yet one needs
some form of stability to be able to give.

Welmek:  Stability is first produced by having your foundation built upon
something that you are able to appreciate in the values of that which
roots you in it.  Identify in your mind that which you value as your
highest truth.  That will begin to open a place of trust to anchor a new
foundation within your being. From there in time stabilization accrues as
you gain new experience in identifying with those values as important and
desirous in your life.  

I will address this in depth in a few more moments as we move into more
detailed discussion about the nature of faith-fullness.  I thank you for
your comments, and am glad that you have felt comfortable to share your
experience with me this evening.  Are there any other comments before we
continue with the lesson and discussion?

Student: Welmek, I think of my first time of real communication with you.
 At that point I didn’t have a place to live, and through your words I
reached a new level of faith and understanding about letting go and
letting God, and within a week I had a place to live and I felt that it
was really, with a lot of help from above, that I found this home. And I
know that through that experience, I questioned myself how I could have
so little faith, when the example of having faith led me to what I really
needed to find.  

Welmek:  Did you enjoy the experience of your faith growth?

Student:  I enjoyed looking back at it, more than I enjoyed going through
it.  And then when I look back at it, it was almost like taking a
gigantic step forward in understand that I was not alone.  

Welmek:  In retrospect you enjoyed the growth.  While you were moving
through the experience, could you detect within you an expansion of
self-confidence or self-independence from being in a state of mental or
spiritual inertia? 

Student:  Most definitely!  And I also have to say that at one point,
when I realized just how much I was being guided, and I didn’t even have
to take down directions, I really found such a great cosmic laugh at
myself.  It was really a cherished moment when I looked at my hymn inside
and realized how I was being taken care of, and I hadn’t seen it before. 

Welmek:  All life is a journey of faith.  When you see your life from
this perspective alone, you may begin to appreciate that always will the
outcome be unknown, unseen, perhaps unexpected.  This is the great
mystery in overcoming the challenges of human living: To view your life
as being the revelation of the unrevealed in time as you gain experience
through daily life.  

More and more will you appreciate the joy and freedom in this
faith-dynamic as you recollect how it has impacted your life over the
course of your growth.  See those experiences as faith-lures to magnify
those qualities that you have that serve your potential development and
personality harmonization. These times of faith for you will become the
greatest undertakings, and give you great enjoyment as you begin to
anticipate living in uncertain times and dealing with uncertain outcomes.
 

I say these words to you, very carefully and slowly tonight, because the
human being does not relish living in faith; does not seek to live in
faith at this point in your overall planetary development.  You want to
know where you are going.  You want to see what lies ahead, and you want
to get there now.  My friends, I say to you that this is not the way of
life in the universe.  Fullness of faith begins to swell within you, the
more you desire to live with uncertainty and to cherish those
opportunities where you cannot know and do not see where it is that you
are being taken.  

Ask yourself this question, “How much do I desire to live in this way?” 
Ask yourself this now, and be very honest and sincere, with what is your
response.  And you do not need to express this out loud to me. (Tape
ends.)  But I wish you to pay close attention to that which you feel in
your answer - for that is the limitation that you place upon yourself in
your ability to trust.  And it diminishes you.  It keep you from becoming
all that you can be, and all that you desire to be, and all that you
sense within you can be.  

The sense of being full of faith is directly proportional to your ability
and desire to live with uncertainty. The uncertainty colors your
perception by casting this shadow of doubt on your abilities and
propensities to perform the tasks you must, to achieve the goals you
desire. 

When you live in faith, you allow that expansion of self to propel you
into new arenas of experience that always add depth and breath and height
to who you are, and to add new weight within your soul.  Think not that
the uncertainty is there to harm you, or to make you feel error-prone, or
doubting your abilities.  It is there to creatively enforce and to
capture those abilities that you have  to make them more powerful and
dynamic within you.

How much beauty of self-expression do you wish to achieve in your life? 
If you begin to attach yourself to that idea that you are becoming only
more glorious and magnificent, you will begin to appreciate that it is
because you are a child of a loving, devoted, tender and affectionate
spiritual overseer that allows this to happen.  This is not an
aggrandizement of self as it is an aggrandizement of spirit.  And the
more you identify with this, the greater you become, the greater you
allow the God within you to blossom and enrich and ennoble all of your
life.  Faithfulness creates the way for you to be that which the Father
has planned for you.  Why would you settle for anything less than this? 
I will pause for your comments now.  

Student: So you are saying that our uncertainty is what propels us to a
great achievement, a greater good, a wider pathway?

Welmek: I know this may seem like a conundrum, but what I am suggesting
is that when you accept that you do not know what the outcome will be,
and that it is acceptable in your inner environment to live with the
uncertainty of that which is unknown, that is what will help you develop
your capacity to trust and expand your ability to live in faith and be
faithful.  Does this make the distinction more clear in your mind? 
(Yes.)  Do you need any further elaboration on this idea?  

Student: Welmek, do you have any suggestions as how to deal with the time
continuum.  Sometimes I feel like I have faith but I lack the patience. 
And the longer it is in time that I seemingly don’t have answers, or some
kind of definite answer, I begin to, I don’t want to say lose faith, but
it loses its momentum.  

Welmek:  My dear sister, uncertainty is part of allowing yourself to walk
in faith.  You, in walking in faith, must allow for the Father’s time
frame to prevail.  You cannot see the hand of God in how your life will
unfold.  Is this not so?  (Yes)  And so, adopting the Father’s time frame
is fundamental now to appreciating this quality and dynamic of faith more
in your life.  

Patience is allowing enough time to elapse for the Father’s outcome for
you to prevail.  And if you feel you are impatient, then it is because
you are expecting things in your time frame and not allowing the Father’s
time frame to being more operative.  So in these instances, you can say
in your stillness, “Father I am impatient, and I do not feel that things
are moving ahead.  I wish to sense your time frame so that I may
cultivate a more patient and trusting attitude toward this situation.”  

Patience is limitless when you ask for it.  Recognize that it is your
time frame that is operative, and once you are aware of this then, my
sister, I hope that it will be easier for you to ask the Father for His
patience to take the edge off any doubt or misgivings that you might
have.  Does this help?  (Yes, thank you!)  This is a patient universe, as
evolution is a slow and incremental process.  I am thinking of that fable
of The Tortoise and the Hare for you to perhaps identify with and see
that slow and steady growth is what was successful in the race to the
finish line.  

Are there any other comments or points of clarification this evening?  

Student: Yes Welmek, I’ve always felt that I inherited wanderlust, maybe
from the Blue Man, and that I kind of thrive on confusion, and
uncertainty.  But I worry about the ethics of being over-exuberant in
front of others, or too rapid of a change of the steps to mercy that we
once talked about, several months ago.  How to get that, what the
Scientologists call, “Power Release”, so that we’re not feeling guilty
that we are overwhelming other people, or hurting other people, as we
rapidly change. I don’t know if it’s a false fear of change, but somehow,
some people have an ability to do a lot of things, and that they don’t
have a fear of hurting other people in the process.  

But there seems to be a built in mechanism in us to stay in a fixed
condition and not move out of fixed conditions and not to expand too
rapidly.  I wonder if you could comment on that?    

Welmek:  In time, as a personality develops more maturity, there becomes
the idea of balance and proportion, as you sense the rhythm of growth. 
There are times for the sudden spurt of growth, and then there are times
of the slower amalgamation of new ideas and experiences.  Extremes of
over-rapid growth, or static complacency are immature responses that are
rooted in the human expectations or desires of change or maintaining a
status quo. They are not true reflections of the inner spirit working. 
They are manifestations of the human mind.  

The greatest mechanism to overcome this, is in one’s individual inner
communion with the Father to ask, “Not my will, but Your will prevail in
my life.”  And adopting a sense of I wish to co-operatively partner with
my inner spirit who is setting the pace and the tenor of my growth..  The
more you identify with this, the greater will your pacing and patience
be.  If you focus on the fear of overwhelming someone, or feeling guilty
about overwhelming someone, you can be well assured that it is not the
spirit whose mind you are using; it is the human mind at work.  

Identifying only that which you wish to become: more balanced, more
in-tuned with the rhythm of your Thought Adjuster will you find yourself
being able more effectively to communicate with others.  Does this help?

Student:  It helps a lot!  It simplifies the whole years of wondering
about that.  And it simplifies the steps to mercy which I know will take
centuries to learn.  

Welmek:  Overburdening your mind with trying to figure out how to
overcome all of your character frailties will tax your ability to be
confident with who you are becoming.  Identify only that which you value
as good, and beautiful and true will keep you focused and moving forward,
so that these qualities or frailties that you have can be made into
qualities of such refinement, and grace, that you and your fellow
brothers and sisters will appreciate that which you are becoming, and
spur new growth, and new abilities and talents within you.

In the human refinement process, allow yourself to detach from all that
is unlovely within you, by asking for everything that is beautiful to be
amplified.  This is how you grow into that diamond that attracts the
light and is the light as a beacon to others.  Does this help?  (Yes it
does. Thank you.) 

My friends, you are all growing in your capacity to trust.  Each time you
make a decision, whether it is the right one and you have a positive
outcome, or whether it is one whose positive outcome will need to await
upon time, you are gaining a greater appreciation for the lure towards
your own perfection.  And as you sense that deepening foundation of this
in your life, you will gain a greater appreciation for the personality of
the Father in Paradise who loves you with a limitless affection, and has
created the way for you to become so beautiful, so light-filled, so
wondrous, and so glorious.  

I know this world has been fraught with many teachings that speaks of the
degradation of the self and the race, but you, as seekers of the truth,
are no longer to be encumbered by these old ideas for the experiences
that fostered these ideas within you. 

More and more identify your ideas with living in faith, with accepting
uncertainty, with appreciating having no expectations but on that which
the Father desires for you.  Let yourself be lured into this
faith-dynamic that creates endless and breathtaking possibilities for
your creative self-expression.  Take a deep breath.  Fill your lungs with
faith.  Walk forward and take that great giant step.  

The Father’s arms are outstretched to welcome you; to pull you to Him. 
My friends, you will not be dropped.  You will be carried forward, and
you will be delighted that with where you are going, and who you are
becoming.  Good evening!