[tmtranscripts] S.E. Idaho Transcript April Fool's Day, 2003

[Bill Kelly]

S.E. Idaho TeaM
4-1-03

Michael(Bob S.): To You, Father, Who created all that is, was, or ever will
be, we Your children open our hearts, our minds, our very selves to the
words that have been prepared for our edification and growth this evening.
We are in awe of Your divine love as we understand it, and seek in our
lives to emulate that love which governs the Universe of Universes.  We are
thankful for those sons and daughters who have volunteered to come to this
planet to shepherd individual charges, and those who have accepted larger
roles as group teachers.  We pray Your Image will be before us evermore in
all we do.  So be it.  Amen.

Heclechora(Bill): Cheers!!  This is Lester, the Jester!! (Pause)   No,
April fool.  (Group bursts into outrageous and sustained laughter), Dear
friends, I am Heclechora, Bob's current personal teacher.  We have been
teasing Isaac's mind about this whole scenario for half a day, and he has
been resisting.  But he finally let go and let us do it.  I am glad that it
has so tickled your funny bone!

Bob D: I guess when Ken said, "Bring the jokes..." (More laughter)

Ken: Well, we never pulled one off on you.

Heclechora: The gravity of the problems in the world requires the balance
of humor.  It is absolutely essential for your health to laugh.  The laugh
mechanism was well described by Elyon as an evolutionary safety valve to
exit aggression, stress, and worry.  It is no wonder that one of your
prominent citizens laughed himself out of fatal cancer.  So, I am glad you
enjoyed our little joke.  I will not lecture you on the virtues of humor
except to say, "Practice it more and more".   Allow yourself the freedom to
laugh and heartily, as you have just done, from the diaphragm, the belly
laugh, which is nature's way of coping with stress, and letting go of
aggression. 

One of the aspects of a good joke is the contrast between truth and
falsehood, which requires the exercise of the ability to distinguish
between truth and error.  Sometimes people who are not as evolved
intellectually are definitely left in the dust when a clever joke is
presented, for they don't have the mental ability to make the connection
with truth and get fooled by that side of humor.  That's also why there are
so many enjoyable stories of children who do not understand the English
language, but who sincerely respond to their misunderstandings.  We all
laugh at their difficulties without feeling critical of them in any way.

Let's think a moment about this whole business of truth.  We have made it
clear in our past lessons that all truth is relative, short of Paradise,
and that it is specific to a given situation.  This does not mean that
there is no ultimate Truth, for God is, after all, Ultimate Truth.  We have
also talked about the requirement that every thinking and morally capable
individual is responsible for their own discernment of truth.  Then, there
has also been the suggestion that the mature person can distinguish between
relative levels of truth and can choose, among many options, that which is
the highest from those that are lessor.  

When I first said, "This is Lester, the Jester", most of you believed me.
You may have thought in that instant,  "Of course it's Lester.  It is April
Fool's Day and he is the perfect one to be present at our meeting because
he is a known comic and a party boy in the Teaching Mission history".
However, you were very pleased to discover that I pulled an April Fool on
you, and you acted just like children that get caught on April Fool's day.
You were laughing at your inability to anticipate my little trick, and your
laughter was like that of little children, full of pleasure.  

So, let us begin this discussion of truth discernment by agreeing there are
levels of discernment ability. Levels of discernment of truth do relate to
inherent ability.  There is a connection between intellectual ability and
spiritual discernment.  In most ways that is a given that you must accept.  

However, the most important consideration in this discussion of truth
discernment has to do with motivation.  For despite levels of discernment
ability that are correlated with intelligence, intelligence alone is not
sufficient.  Motivation is a bigger key to unlock the door of truth.  Jesus
described this when he said, "Ask and you shall receive; knock and the door
shall be opened to you".  The motivation to search and seek after truth is
the most important aspect.

To be a truth seeker is hard work.  It requires one to cast off from the
safe shores of one's native and familiar land to engage the raging seas of
uncertainty in the quest of a new and greater destination.  The seas of
uncertainty harbor dangers.  There are the sharks of doubt circling the
ship.  There are the winds of adversity which batter its sails.  There are
the dark nights of the soul which submerge  the fountain of joy in darker
muddy waters.  There is the laughter of derision from your peers as you
ready your vessel to enter the uncharted waters of your quest. But he who
has the willingness to search, will find.  He who will turn the nob on the
door will find that it opens.  He who has the humility to ask and to admit
their need of help, will receive that help.  

For you see, once you seek that truth, you have a comforter.  You have a
companion.  You  are in possession of the well spring within you of the
Spirit of Truth, Michael's spiritual presence.  You will remember that He
told his apostles on their last night together at supper, "I am the way,
the truth, and the light".  So, Michael, the truth Himself, is within you
to shine His light upon His way.  

In addition to intellectual ability and spiritual motivation there is a
third aspect.  Truth, like love, cannot be squandered.  It cannot
successfully be kept within your own mind and heart.  Truth must be shared
with others.  Yes, a teacher does learn twice.  If you are strutting about
wearing a shirt congratulating yourself on your willingness not to tiptoe
through life you must be expecting inquiry.  Peter told the early
Christians, "Always be ready to give an answer to any man who asks you the
reason of the hope that is within you".   Beautiful advice, Peter!  The
reason for the hope that is within you.  Yes, the Spirit of Truth will
speak through your mouth.  But you need to be prepared, not stumbling along
unconscious of the value that your appearance has in the eyes of others.
"What is the reason for your hope?  Why does your face shine when the world
is going to hell in a handbasket?  What is the source of your peace?  Why
do you regard other people with such generosity?  Are you a Jesus freak?"
These are the sorts of questions that may come your way.  I now take this
information from Isaac's mind.  The secret of Alcoholic Anonymous was in
the discovery of its founders that to stay sober, they had to help other
alcoholics.  The same principle applies here.  In order for truth to be
real for you, you must share it.   

Sharing does not mean shoving it  down someone else's throat.  It does not
mean walking with a billboard over your shoulders displaying, "I have the
truth.  Come and ask me".  It means what Peter said.  Be ready to give an
answer to anyone who asks you the reason for the hope within you.  

The God of time and space, the evolving Supreme does have a sense of humor.
 For humor is part of the evolutionary process.  God the Supreme is
overseeing that whole process, that whole attainment of Almighty
Sovereignty in power/personality synthesis.  God's sense of humor is not in
the embarrassing fact that as a man loses his hair on the top of his head
it grows instead out his nose.  That is a type of humor.  God's humor is
part of His Joy, which is a part of His inner being, a part of His love.
There is no contradiction between truth, love, joy, and humor.  They are
all molded together in one wonderful experience of co-creational evolution,
the experience of being a part of the Supreme adventure, the experience of
being a son and daughter of the living God.

Finally, my friends, let truth set you free from fear, from guilt, from
anger, and from resentment.  In the comfort of that still small voice
believe the words that say, "Your ship is headed in the right direction.
You will reach the far shore of Paradise".  I am finished.  Thank you for
your listening ears.  One moment please.

Daniel: Hello my dear friends.  I am Daniel, your teacher, your guide, your
friend and your brother.  Thank you Heclechora for your commentary on humor
and truth.  I have a feeling that my students would like to respond to your
comments.  So, at this time, I will open the floor to them.  Questions or
comments?

Bob D.: I guess I will ask a question.  On that truth discernment level, I
struggle with this always wanting to do something, accomplish something,
get something done that I feel in my heart to be substantial; almost as if
just being who I am or what I am or what I am doing right now isn't enough.
 I want to understand how much of that is the perfection urge verses how
much is this uncomfortability with being at the current level that I am in,
in life.  My wife often points out, "You know Bob, you have two kids,
trying to go to school, do a job. You know, we are trying to do all these
things.  You want to do a conference; you want to write a magazine; you
want to do things in the community; you want to do all these other things."
 I wonder....there is something in me that goes like.....I am trying to
understand how much is leading verses how much is just not being satisfied
with who I am?  I struggle with truth discernment in all of that. (Chuckling)

Aaron(Bill): Aaron, here.  Hello everyone.  I will take this question for I
have been associated with this individual more closely than the rest of our
staff.

Bob D.: Probably closer than anyone else in the world.  Well, somebody
might argue with that.

Aaron: Indeed, my friend, I am fully aware of your restless yearning to
truly contribute significantly to the evolution of this time and place.
You must understand that only God, your Fragment within, can fully answer
this question.  I am going to rephrase or try to phrase it in a way that I
hear it, to see if I have understood your question correctly.  You asked
what part or what percent of this craving is due to perfectionism verses
what part is due to the inner drive toward perfection which comes from your
indwelling Adjuster. Would you verify if I have ascertained this correctly.

Bob D.: Maybe, yeah, maybe in a sense the perfection urge, the inner drive
from God, I see directly.  The other part I am seeing more as how much of
it is ....maybe it is not perfectionism, or maybe it is.  Maybe it is just
the way I am looking at it.  It is just this uncomfortability just being a
dad and husband and feeling like I need to do all these other things for
justification of who I am, in a sense.  Sometimes I have this vision of
something I am really trying to make it work.  A lot of the things I do, I
am trying to get glimpses of that.  So I am trying to understand how much
of that is me and how much is God's leading, or from you or other teachers.  

Aaron: Very well.  How much is you and how much is from God or the
teachers?  I labeled the part from you as perfectionism.  So I would have
you ponder that possibility.  That is the sense that you give me with your
statement.  As I am using the word, "perfectionism", this is a condition
that no matter what one does, it is not good enough, it is not enough.  In
your case being a father, being a student, being a husband, isn't good
enough.  You want to do more, you see.  I am only asking you, Bob, have I
understood you correctly?  And I think we agree.  

To look at this another way is to ask the question, "Am I doing the will of
God at this point in my life?"  I feel like you have some questions about
the role you have accepted, that you have chosen, as though it was a
mistake or you are not sure about that.

Bob D.: You say, the role I have accepted.  Are you talking about service
things I am doing.  Are you talking about my relationships or....

Aaron: I am talking about your relationships as a husband, as a father, and
as a student primarily.  Yes.

Bob D.: Yeah, I look back and I really don't think I see them as mistakes
so much, because in my own growth involved.  But I think I always question
the fact that I.....I go back and forth.  I really don't have a grasp on this.

Aaron: No, I did not say that you think of them as mistakes.  I said that
you have some doubts, some unsatisfied longings that your life should be
more than that, not that there is anything wrong or not good, or not God's
will.  But if that were all you were to accomplish in life: To raise two
wonderful children; to have a good marriage; and to do something with your
training as a historian to teach children, that would not be sufficient.
That there still should be something more.  For example: if Monjoronson
should say to you, "Here is a task that really will matter", that this
might be the kind of thing you are really looking for.  I can't suggest
what such a task might be.  Have I not caught the flavor of your feelings
here?

Bob D.: I think in some sense you have.  I think the biggest is how
much....because I feel like a lot of my extra curricular activities outside
of the family that I do, I feel like I am compelled to do them.  I
sometimes  wonder how much is subconscious.  It is not a conscious thing
that I go through.  So I think sometimes when I cut corners on
things...like I wait until the last minute to write papers because of the
things that are directly in front of me in my life, I get caught in doing
other things.  I don't know if that helps to clear it.  It may be that a
lot of my processing is unconscious, whether it is God led or personally
led.  I don't think I go through a conscious process.

Aaron: I suspect that your analysis here is very accurate; that this
turmoil is, in fact, partly unconscious.  If it were fully conscious you
would not feel confusion.  It would be much more clear.  You can think back
on the early apostles.  Most of them had families and marriages and
children.  Some of them left their families for periods of time to do the
work of the Kingdom with Jesus.  But after that period of time was over,
Peter, for example, took his wife with him on his missionary journeys.  She
accompanied him until they were arrested and put to death.  What I am
saying is that you don't have to feel that being a father, husband and
student is a lesser thing than some other task you might imagine, as in
spreading the gospel through the Teaching Mission and the Urantia movement.
 But, as you said, the unconscious aspects of all this is the probable
source of the conflict and the dissatisfaction.  

I could be wrong that you have a tendency to be a perfectionist.  On the
other hand, I could be right! (Chuckling from group)  

Bob: You cover your bases well!

Aaron: The roots of perfectionism are complex.  Some of them are genetic,
yes.  They also have to do with dysfunctional, family of origin, roles
where the perfectionistic role is to transcend conflict and find a more
perfect way.  It is also often a desire to reconcile and heal conflict.
You are obviously a very bright individual and you are very talented.
Another factor in perfectionism is an artistic temperament.   The artistic
temperament is, in a sense, prone to perfectionism.  

Now, I am not negating the value of striving for perfection.  But
perfectionism is not good because it can sour and spoil truly excellent
achievement when it is never "good enough".  The desire to do the best you
can is, of course, in part from within, from your indwelling Spirit.  This
can be tempered in your mind into a satisfying driving force, once any
unconscious contamination is exposed and understood.

The other thing I would say to you is, and you know this well, the best way
for a tadpole to become a frog is to live faithfully as a tadpole.  In
other words, don't be so impatient with yourself.  Give yourself more
breathing room.  Do faithfully the things you need to do now and don't
neglect them.  Don't daydream when time is short, for then you will neglect
and resort to procrastination.  Perfectionism and procrastination go hand
in hand.  If you can be more patient with yourself and if you are willing
to spend time to discover the roots of this turmoil, you will be happier,
Bob.  Take pleasure in the now moment.  Enjoy the incredible privilege that
you have as a father with these two wonderful children.  It is no small
thing to be a parent!  It is one of the greatest roles in the universe and
those who do not have it, as you know, are required to obtain that
experience in the future.  So, rethink your priorities and your estimation
of value.  I suggest that you live faithfully now to the fullest extent;
and the future will unfold as it should.  These are my words.

Bob: Thank you.

Daniel(Bill):   I am Daniel.  Thank you, Aaron, for your commentary.  Do we
have any other comments or questions before we close our meeting?   (Pause)
Very well, Jonderock, would you be willing to let Heclechora conclude in
prayer while we hold hands?

Bob S.: I would be delighted.

Heclechora(Bob S.): Let us be in the attitude of prayer.  To those Persons,
the Paradise Three, to Whom we owe our ultimate allegiance, I say, send us
forth with Your blessing.  Comfort us with Your love.  Overwhelm us with
Your mercy.  Forgive us when we go astray and uphold us always in the
comfort of Your arms.  Amen.