[tmtranscripts] Center for Christ Consciousness -- Michael & Nebadonia, April 5, 2004

[Donna D'Ingillo]

CENTER FOR CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS
LARKSPUR, CA
www.ctrforchristcon.org


CHRIST MICHAEL & MOTHER SPIRIT NEBADONIA – APRIL 5, 2004
 
Prayer:  Mother and Father, we come to you with our lives open.  We bring our agendas, we bring our problems, we bring our fears into your presence.  We know that you will give us the comfort and guidance we need to overcome all of our challenges.  As we settle into your presence this evening, fill our hearts with peace and courage as we desire to become strengthened in you to perform loving acts of service to others.  Amen.   
 
My peace is upon you.  This Michael and I am your Father.  Draw me into you now and feel my peace settle deep within you.  Invite me in, children.  I will fill you.  (Pause)
 
Last week we began another level of active forgiveness experiences based on your learning to listen to one another with compassionate understanding.  And for those of you who attended and participated, I would now like to ask you: were you able to conduct this experience in your day-to-day life?  Please share this with one another.  
 
Student:  Michael, I had an experience last Thursday dancing with someone in which a small accident happened.  Somehow I was accused of hurting someone, and when I tried to go over it again very slowly, this person literally went into a rage and made a big scene in the middle of about sixty people.  Later, after the class was over, I went over to say I was sorry that the whole thing happened and I touched her lightly on the shoulder, and she literally jumped away six feet and started yelling at me not to touch her ever again and never come near her; and looked at me like I was some kind of evil, malignant creature who was going to terribly hurt her in the middle of twenty people.
 
At that moment I realized that this person was very mentally and emotionally disturbed, and so I protested that I was only trying to apologize and let it go.  I am glad at that moment I had this compassionate understanding, even to inhibit my own anger at being treated that way.  I was happy that I was able to let it go and not make a big incident out of it.  But it has taken me days to get over just being seen that way.  It’s helped me a lot with Monjoronson’s lesson in not holding resentments and your instruction to pray for those who have spitefully abused us.  That’s all very been helpful.
 
Michael:  J, my son, this is the point of these exercises; that you are learning to mitigate your emotional responses with this level of restraint and understanding.  Do not you feel very comforted and strengthened by your own growing self-control?
 
Student:  Very much so, Michael, and another little part of that too was trusting all the people around would understand.  Having a feeling of trusting their understanding of the situation so it did not have to build into a big melodrama of accusations.
 
Michael:  Thank you.  Who else would wish to share their experiences during the week?
 
Student:  Michael, last week as the other members who were here beamed their compassionate understanding into my heart center and the feeling of warmth and peace, I tried to do that with a sixteen year old young man who was upset, not at me, but upset about life.  What I noticed was I wanted some kind of sign that I was doing the right thing and wanted immediate gratification like he would jump up and say:  yeah, everything’s fine.  But nothing happened, but I did notice after about twenty minutes he seemed a lot happier.  I don’t know if that was me or you or Mother or who it was, but there was something going on that I did not quite understand.  
 
Michael:  But, C, my son, you remembered the exercise and you used it.  You saw a result, even though it may not have been as immediate as you would have liked:  twenty minutes—is that not quite soon?  (Yes)  So, did this help to solidify your own effectiveness in holding a focus like this?  
 
Student:  Yes, it did very much. I also recognized that it doesn’t have to look like what I think it ought to look like to be workable.  
 
Michael:  Yes, because if you think it must look a certain way, then whose will is prevailing?
 
Student:  That would be my will and I’ve had enough of that.  I don’t want my will in there any more.  I’m looking for the Father’s will do to it.
 
Michael:  Thank you, my son.  
 
Student:  Dear Jesus, I’ve been lucky to receive the benefits of your ministry in this purification all week long.  Even with the minister of the church in Fairfax, even with D and my boys who have been very angry with me this week.  But I’ve been able to be more chummy with them because of this more tolerant regard that I have.  It is noticeable even with this Baptist family I had dinner with yesterday, and I feel grateful and a little more spiritually thankful.
 
Michael:  V, my son, you think it would behoove you to continue these episodic experiences on a daily basis more consistently?
 
Student:  Yes, I think it would make me a more effective citizen and keep my mind focused on spiritual growth.  
 
Michael:  Your capacity for intellectual understanding is keen.  What most people need however is your unconditional, unreserved respect that comes from this compassionate understanding that we teach you.  When you stay centered in this, you cannot help but be charming and effective as you like to say.  (Pause)
 
As your Mother and I take you into this more dynamic realm of active forgiveness, please note that this word ‘active’ is precisely what that means:  it is living, it is ongoing, it is continual.  I encourage you to think about this now:  to be actively forgiving through your compassionate understanding, even moment to moment.  Go within. Settle your mind upon this idea.  Ask yourself:  what would this mean to me in my life if I was compassionately understanding of everything that happened throughout the day; actively forgiving.  Allow any fears you have come up to the surface, and as you feel these fears, invite me in and I will illuminate your mind.  Do this now, my children, as your Mother and I stir within you.  (Pause) 
 
As you stay in the internal environment of your mind, bring into your mental environment a person who angered you beyond the point of reason.  When you see this individual and you feel how this person has engaged your more primal emotions, simply call on me and me you to feed you with my compassion, my understanding, and my forgiveness.  Notice in your mind what this does to recharge the situation into a more positive dynamic.  (Pause)
 
Student:  There’s a man where I live who is ninety and is always complaining about nothing.  I was really freaked out by it and would get upset.  When I asked for help about that, I could see him for who he is – very nice.
 
Michael:  And take this one step further now, R, by asking to feel my love for him.  
 
Student:  I had not done that. 
 
Michael:  Do this now as we continue this exercise.  (Pause)  And now, children, take this one step further as I have suggested to R, by asking for my love for this individual to swell within your heart.  (Pause)  Who is willing to share amongst your brethren the before feelings and the after feelings?
 
Student:  I was obsessed with this fellow as he was a taker.  I’ve just let go of all of that and I feel very warm toward him.  (Thank you.)
 
Student:  Michael, my situation I just described about this altercation with this lady; I just suddenly saw deeper into how much she might be suffering to react that way; just to be so fearful that someone might deliberately hurt her when that was not the case at all  What pain she must be in to see the world this way!  (Thank you.)
 
Student:  Michael, the before was I was very angry at this man that I worked with several years ago.  I noticed my anger and upset was still there.  As I looked at it from what I think is your viewpoint with love and understanding I started to see that he was upset and was simply reacting to my pain, although there is no reason for this, we were both reacting to each other, and neither one of us saw the other.  I did not see him for him; I saw the anger I had.  But after looking at it with love in my heart, I began to understand that here was another child who was doing the same thing I was doing.  Maybe I could be more understanding and he would be more understanding.  (Thank you.)
 
Student:  Michael, I found myself focusing on someone who had slighted me and caused me to feel anger this woman for something she had done to my mother.  I just suddenly saw that she basically was not such a bad person, and in general, this person tried to do the right thing most of the time.  It just suddenly seemed like much less of a serious matter than I had blown it up to and I made her out to be some kind of terrible person, when actually it’s much more minor than that.  It took a lot of the heaviness away from the situation and changed the perspective to not be so bad at all:  just a common mistake of relatively minor proportions that I had blown into a big deal.  (Thank you.)
 
Michael: All of you have had experiences with forgiveness:  forgiving others and being forgiven.  Forgiveness is the great de-fuser; it will de-fuse all of those explosive emotions that are still so rampant within your psyches.  As part of the exercise this evening, I ask you:  how much forgiveness do you want to be installed within your mind and body?  Do you with to embody this now, my children?  (Yes)
 
Call me into your being again, and invite me to fill you with that level of forgiveness that I was able to embody as Jesus.  You have access to this, my children.  I share this with you freely.  You, in being planetary healers, must embody this quality, this level, this intensity, this passion for forgiveness if you are truly to be my ambassadors.  Call me in and ask for my forgiveness to feed you and to lengthen your emotional responses with your less developed brothers and sisters. (Pause)
 
As you take on this mantle of forgiveness and as your Mother weaves my forgiveness into your being, feel the depth of these words:  Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do. Let this settle deep into you, my children.  (Pause) 
 
As the Christian world makes ready to celebrate my resurrection at the upcoming Easter holiday, I would ask you, my children, to consider my experience of forgiveness as I was crucified.  In taking on this mantle of forgiveness, you are inviting that depth of compassionate, loving understanding of the errors of humanity that renders people blameless in the midst of their most horrific misperceptions.  Take on this mantle, children, for you know the resurrection into the new life follows:  the lightness of being, the joy of loving, the freedom of striving to be God-like.  There are so many abundant blessings waiting for you as you take on this mantle of forgiveness.  And this is my gift to you.  (Pause)
 
Now find your desire to do your best each day to lovingly forgive.  Let Mother weave this intention more deeply into your being.  And in so doing, at some point in time it will become almost instinctual to you to react in this way.  Let her go deep within your being, my children, and create in you a new reactional response that will take you to new heights of loving service as planetary healers.  (Pause)
 
Now send your desire to react out of forgiveness deep into the earth.  Feel the intensity of your desire for this: for the whole earth to be blanketed in the forgiveness quality—let it spread among the grasses, the soil, all the land of the earth for your brothers and sisters to feed upon as we go into this time of resurrection and rebirth. This what they need to be born again, to be enlivened: my Spirit pouring through this forgiveness energy.  So spread your desire for this widely and freely into the core of the earth as your Mother distributes these seeds of forgiveness throughout the lands feeding our children with what they need to heal.  (Pause)  
 
Now I ask you to particularly focus this forgiveness energy into the area of the Middle East, where the enmity between races has been historically explosive.  Plant my forgiveness there as your Mother adds her Spirit to feed our children.  (Pause)
 
Never withhold this forgiveness, my children, from your brothers and sisters.  The degree to which you wish to be received with loving compassion is directly proportional to your capacity to compassionately understand and forgive.  The more your practice, the greater understanding and compassion will you receive from your brothers and sisters.  Would you not wish to be loved and understood as completely as possible by your fellows?  And so, this is the secret to great personal dynamism.  Practice this compassionate understanding forgiveness each day, and you will see your effectiveness increase, and be very well-satisfied with your efforts at service.  
 
I will withdraw my presence as I leave you to your Mother.  My children, my love is growing stronger within you.  By practicing these acts of forgiveness, you will mightily augment your capacity to perceive me.  And I know it is your desire to do this and to feel me as much as possible.  Through your forgiveness efforts, you will know who I am even more fully than you have already experienced it.  Good evening, my beloved children.
 
Greetings to you, my children, this is your Mother Nebadonia who speaks.  Bring to me tonight your concerns and questions on why you withhold your forgiveness in some of the circumstances in your life.  We will explore this together, you and I.  I will give you more room within your being to feel forgiveness and to distribute forgiveness to your brothers and sisters.  Center yourselves now and ask yourself this question:  What holds me back from forgiving most freely?  I will entertain your questions when you are ready to speak.  (Pause)
 
Student:  A needing to be right.
 
Nebadonia: Do you feel it is more important to be right than to forgive?
 
Student:  I would not even entertain the idea of forgiving.  Now I see how essential forgiving is.
 
Nebadonia: And what does this do for your desire to want to be right.
 
Student:  It makes it irrevelant.
 
Nebadonia:  When you feel this tendency to be right, what would you do instead or as an antidote to this, R?
 
Student:  I gave somebody a little cup of yogurt, a small gesture.
 
Nebadonia:  And did you also remember to call in your Father’s forgiveness?
 
Student:  No, I didn’t.
 
Nebadonia:  Will you make an effort to remember?  (Oh, yes.)  And this is all we ask:  to revisit forgiveness as many times as you need to during the day.
 
Student:  Good exercise.
 
Nebadonia:  And be in my peace, my son.
 
Student:  Mother, for me it was again this last week being wounded and not realizing it; and being wounded in a peculiarly painful way of being accused of deliberately hurting someone else.  But all of these lessons you have been teaching us help so much where time after time my mind would come up with some defensive thing reliving the situation over and over or some self-justification.  I had the ability to see through them for what they were.  It helped me finally realize that I was wounded and just my own mind trying to heal itself.  Finally coming to the compassionate understanding of what it must be to be this other individual and see me as some kind of monster.  
 
Nebadonia:  When you feel the wounding within you—that raw open sore—what will you do now to heal that?
 
Student:  The main thing, Mother, that stayed with me through this was a trust.  A trust that this was very temporary, a trust that this was healing and this love; every time this thought would come into my mind, I would ask for you and Michael to breathe your spirit into me.  But the one missing component that Michael mentioned tonight was I thought I had an understanding of this other person and why she over-reacted, and I plan to be very loving and forgiving.  I’m glad I went over to apologize even though it might not have been my fault, just to make that advance.  But I didn’t know about asking for Michael’s love to fill her heart, which is probably the one thing she needs above all.  So thank you for that.  
 
Nebadonia:  As you have these experiences, which will be more short-lived in time, when you feel that woundedness within you, simply ask for your Father’s forgiveness to enter into that. And feel what that does to bind the hurt into a greater capacity to love and to understand.  And be in my peace, my son.
 
Student:  Mother, I notice as I actively try to forgive other people in my life who have hurt me and also myself, I find a great resistance to it.  I’m not exactly sure why.  I have a great fear because I don’t want to be taken advantage of again.  I may appear weak if I start forgiving people, even myself.  The other thing that comes right up is I don’t want to look at my part in the thing.  The situation I’m in now it’s not all their fault and it’s not all my fault, it’s a combination.  I have great resistance to forgiving fully.  
 
Nebadonia:  Do you feel that forgiveness is something that empowers and gives you more spiritual strength?
 
Student:  Yes, it does.  And it also frees my mind of a lot of stuff that is floating around.  I feel a great deal of peace when I forgive fully.  
 
Nebadonia:  Would that mitigate then some of the effects of being hurt again.
 
Student:  Yes, it would.
 
Nebadonia:  Would this soften your resistance then, this understanding?
 
Student:  Yes, you did!  Thank you.
Nebadonia:  Think about this answer, my son.  Think about the quality of support you get when you begin to more emotionally and logically understand a situation with another person from a spiritual perspective.  Spiritual growth empowers an individual.  It takes you out of the place where you are victimized, and gives you courage and strength and stamina and a power to heal any wrongdoing, whether it is inflicted against yourself or another person.  I want you, in the coming days, to think about this and draw into me and allow me to fully melt any resistance you have within you to be forgiving.
 
Student:  Mother, I will do that.  Thank you very much.
 
Nebadonia:  And be in my peace, my son.
 
Student:  Mother Nebadonia, I would like to talk to you now about a sort of paradox I seem to experience in raising children.  In the light of forgiveness and nurturing, how do I also teach through discipline and consequences?  Sometimes it sound like to forgive is to let everything slide with children, and I know this doesn’t work.  They need to be taught the results of their foolish acts.  How can I meld these together a little more smoothly to where I can forgive and nurture as well as teach through consequences and discipline?
 
Nebadonia:  R, my son, first and foremost the forgiveness attitude is the posture that stabilizes your emotional equilibrium, does it not?  (Yes)  So then you are reacting out of parental wisdom and deeper years of experience, are you not?  (Yes)  So, would it not seem to you then to adopt this forgiving attitude with them for whatever they do, but yet to also know that you, as the parent, can come to your Father and to me and ask for what would be an effective disciplinary action to teach them the consequences of their actions.  Is this not something you have access to, my son?
 
Student:  Yes, it is and it is a very simple answer.  And I needed to hear it one more time.  Thank you.
 
Nebadonia:  Are you sure that is all it will take?  
 
Student:  Oh, you know me better than that, Mother!  It’s a journey; it’s a struggle.  In my heart I know the answer, but I need to hear it time and time again.
 
Nebadonia:  And you can say this to me as many times as you need to, my son.  (Thank you)  And be in my peace.
 
Student:  I’ve been indulging in anger, kind of intensely over the last couple of weeks.  I’m feeling tonight like I can see some of the reasons that I could put on it.  But I’m not really interested in trying to justify it.  All I can do is ask for forgiveness and any assistance I can get in becoming wiser in my application of the tools I’ve already been given.  It’s so easy for me to indulge in petty anger and thoughts of revenge and all of that.  And yet, it’s not making much sense to me.  It seems so out of balance.  
 
Nebadonia:  And why do you feel you indulge yourself in this petty anger, my son?
 
Student:  Things like feeling entitled to better treatment in some cases; feelings of being hurt or lonely or just betrayed in minor ways, of course.  I’m not sure why I let myself respond with anger.  It just seems to be the path of least resistance; the easy thing to do.
 
Nebadonia:  Go within.  Ask your Father Fragment this question:  Why do I allow myself to indulge in these feelings of anger?  And when you receive your response, draw me into you and I will open a pathway in you to encircuit you in a better way of thinking through your Father’s grace.  (Pause)
 
Student:  I think I will have to review this lesson and others; take some time to incorporate this.  
 
Nebadonia:  Will you indulge me a moment more?  (Of course)  Stay focused now within and let me move within you, my son.  (Pause)  Find that place within you that has the desire to protect yourself.  Let me soften that, my son, for your Father will protect you.  (Pause)  And be in my peace.  (Thank you)
 
Student:  Mother, I find that I have trouble forgiving people sometimes when I feel they have taken something valuable from me, be it time, peace of mind or possessions or something that is dear to me.  I ask your help in dealing better with situations like this.
 
Nebadonia:  C, my daughter, your value is very precious to me and to your Father.  When you sense these other people devaluing you, you feel a little bit of your sense of self is lost, and you must protect yourself.  There is this armor at your heart that protects yourself from people stepping on your divine dignity.  Go within.  Find within you that desire to protect yourself.  And when you perceived this within you, call on me to soften and to build your Father in you a new strength that will be a new source of protection so that you can yield your own defenses.  Will you do this now, my daughter?  (Yes, Mother)  (Pause)
 
Student: I feel a better sense of being and more peacefulness doing the exercise, Mother.  
 
Nebadonia:  Let this grow now, daughter, and be imbued with this deeper level of protection that will soften your resistance to forgiveness.  
 
Student:  That was a very insightful and powerful exercise you had me do.  Thank you.
 
Nebadonia: And be in my peace, my daughter.
 
Student:  Mother, what I experience my resistance to forgiveness centers around my protecting myself as well.  It’s coupled with trust.  Someone or a group of people who in many cases claim to be of spiritual authority abandoning me or someone reading the transcript and turning my words around and slandering me.  That has happened in the past.  How can I trust these people who hide under the guise of being spiritual?  So I resist because I need to protect myself.  

Nebadonia:  What is more important to you now?  Protecting yourself or being forgiving?
 
Student:  Of course to be forgiving and to be free of this burden I place upon myself.  
 
Nebadonia:  I pose this question to you now, D, because you have had many lessons of letting go of your justification and to recognize that another person is acting defensively because they themselves have yet to reach certain levels of spiritual maturity.  So you must go within and ask yourself:  why do I feel so entitled to this justification?  Are you willing to do this now, my son?  (Yes, I am)  Ask your Father Fragment to assist you and I will move within you as well.  (Pause)  Now call on your Father Michael.  Ask him to step into that center of justification.  When you sense him there, ask for his forgiveness and for him to remove the shackles that keep you from moving forward.  (Pause)  And be in my peace, my son.  (Thank you)
 
My children, once you taste fully of the nectar of forgiveness, you will wish to react with no other spiritual quality.  For its taste is so sweet and the results you perceive are so liberating there will seem to be a naturalness and ease with which you imbue this with your fellows.  Let these exercises of the evening tonight settle into your being as you slumber, asking for your Father’s forgiveness to be more deeply impressed within your mind and body.  For you know, children, there will always be many challenges at hand every day to practice this.  And we do these exercises to impress upon you the energy of this to strengthen you to go about your day.  And as more of the legacy of the Lucifer Rebellion leaves the planet, there will be ample opportunities to practice this time and time again as you see some more of the more unlovely behavior become unleashed in your brothers and sisters.  Ask yourself this question:  am I going to add more fuel to the fire or am I going to be the one who puts out the fires with the waters of forgiveness?  It is your choice.  (Pause)  I leave you to consider this question tonight and to ponder these things deep in your soul.  Your Father and I will be there as you sleep.  Good evening, my beloved children.  
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