[tmtranscripts] Time To Change Your Oil (2-18-97.BUT)

[Gerdean]

DATE: February 18, 1997
LOCATION: Butler, PA, USA
T/R's: Gerdean and Hunnah 

TEACHER SESSION
"Time To Change Your Oil"
Personal Teachers
Trieste and Jasmine

TRIESTE: I am Trieste. Good evening, ladies. I know you did not expect me to come calling, but I opted to take advantage of the quietude of your electro-chemical systems this evening. 

Tomas was prepared to launch on an interminable discussion of responsibility but he concluded that the circumstances were not conducive to such an energetic enterprise, and as we have observed your social discourse this evening, it was rather determined that we would meet informally and spend a moment on more intimate and personal matters, for these too are on the agenda for correction and discussion in aligning your personal perceptions of reality to the greater reality.

Indeed, I will give an analogy of an engine that works on and on, and does not have its oil changed. What happens is the cylinder gets clogged with the dirty lubricant and the mechanism functions poorer and poorer, and as you in your lives do not change your oil, you too become sluggish and your mechanisms slow to the point of stalling, and so, having found you in this sputtering space, I will spend a moment with you in hopes of motivating an internal oil change that you may begin to feel your gears loosen and move along with fluidity through your personal experiences and into a more spiritual approach to your path.

I am grateful for Tomas' words recently, testifying to the ability of the personal teachers to attain heights of insight and grandeur in their teaching capabilities, for it gives me occasion then to remind you each of your own potentials in terms of what capacity you also can reach if you are oiled up, if you are warmed up, when your engine is running at maximum efficiency.

I will call to your mind a number of things that will clog your gears, and dirt, of course, is on the top of the list. The dirt I reference here is related to the density of your world, the sheer solidarity of it, the bulk of it, the quantity of it -- this has a tendency to literally weigh heavily on you. As it weighs on you, it also erodes into you and you carry around things that you don't need to; they get dusty, they make you sweat. These all contribute to sluggishness of your inner life.

We say glibly to "slough it off." The teachers are quite glib in their instruction to let it go. But we who work more closely with your personalities understand how it is that you become comfortable in the quagmires of your own making, and how difficult it is to remove yourself from those realms that are warm and sticky and familiar. Yet your ascension is dependent upon letting go of many of those things which hold you back, which glom onto you and which you glom onto, that contribute to the filth of your fluids.

Sometimes it is even difficult in such a state to seek quality stillness for cleansing and purging, for the soul healing that comes from the bathing in the living water, when you become so humanized and so clogged in your material life, you feel, in some part of you, soiled, and therefore unworthy to present yourself. As if in presenting yourself to God you were presenting yourself to company, you are unwilling to open yourself fully to Him, lest He see your filthy closets and your dusty shelves. It is subtle, but it is a trick of the human ego that allows for such devices, such treacheries that would keep you back from freedom and from flight into higher realms of consciousness and awareness and functioning.

When you are in a place of goo such as I described, it is not a bad idea to ask your personal teacher to come on board and help you clean house, for remember you are not alone any longer. You do not need to sweep the floor and dust the hearth all by yourself, Cinderella, but you may call in your fairy Godmother to help you with your chores. Alas, I will not wave a magic wand, but I will help put a twinkle back into your life that you may then proceed to harmonize your home, your surroundings, your heart and your hearth, so that you will feel prepared to then admit the Master.

I have spent some time in an emotional morass. It is not an unpleasant morass I daresay, but Gerdean has been in the emotional realms up to her knees and, therefore, we have not practiced stillness "religiously" and I appreciate the opportunity this evening to help her walk through some of the sticky stuff that she has collected by her recent emotional exposures. By the same token, I am advised that the lesson holds well for you also, Ruth and Hunnah. Indeed, Wanda was wondering why I used the analogy of the engine when you, Ruth, have been having car trouble. We are comrades, you see, and we can discuss these things in a general way and harmonize our experience.

I have prattled on and I have not attained sublime heights but I am happy to feel that this practice has somewhat lubricated the gears of Gerdean and I am willing to step aside to hear from Jasmine, if Hunnah would be amenable to allowing her to present herself. I will therefore hush ...

Hunnah: I have a question before you call in Jasmine. 

TRIESTE: Proceed.

Hunnah: I still have trouble defining Jasmine and myself, and I do not want to -- it sounds so much like my writing, when she speaks, that I don't know where one ends and the other starts. The other thing is, if Jasmine speaks, please have some questions for her. I'm willing to bring Jasmine in, but I'd like it very much if someone would ask a question.

TRIESTE: I am advised by Tomas that the protocol that we will follow is that I will say "so long" and we will take a moment's break, whereupon we will resume a brief stillness, and you may then entertain the presence of Jasmine while Gerdean is offline and available to participate in that capacity. I have enjoyed my visit very much. Perhaps I will return. At any rate, I will be in the environment and enjoying your session, our session.

JASMINE: I am here.

Gerdean: Hello, Jasmine.

JASMINE: You had an earful.

Gerdean: We had a lovely visit, yes. Trieste, my personal teacher was here giving us, I guess, a pep talk. I'm not sure what she said, but I feel better. It seems to me I overheard some comment about that it was hard to ask questions, hard to know what you want to ask, and as I'm sitting here "off-line" I'm fully appreciating that remark, because there are things I want to discuss and things I want to know, but I don't know how to put it. I don't really know what I want to ask. I just know that I need to know something, and I think it relates to (in my personal case) this experience I just recently went through in and with my love companion. Part of the concerns have been addressed in the lessons in the last several weeks, but not really personally.

I think what I want to say is, I think I'm discovering, Jasmine, that human happiness ... I'm discovering that human happiness is less and less important, as I ascend, as I take this faith walk seriously. It used to be that it was really important that I have my needs met, that my dreams be honored, that my ambitions be realized, and it's like now, even though this man is very dear to me, and the ideal is still an elevated ideal, -- it's not that I don't care, but -- his leaving doesn't eat my lunch like it once would have. Is this a reality, as I believe it is? Or is this a method of denial of a broken heart or something more along those lines?

JASMINE: I always enjoy hearing your description. You have an amusing way of phrasing things. First let me tell you that I feel that what you are experiencing is a combination of things. You are experiencing, on one hand, impersonalization; and on another hand, a release of self-absorption. The spiritual journey can be very self-absorbing, to the point of negating the feelings and developments of others. As you continue to ascend, you will find that your physical appetites and your judgments will have been altered because things that were very demanding and critical are being seen in a new light. Things are shuffled around, you might say, and what was once up front, has been delegated the back seat. Priorities are changing and you are feeling growing pains. And indeed there are growing pains, especially, Gerdean, in love experiences.

If you don't mind, I will carry the ball here and cover an area that affects Hunnah, and I feel that it is going to include Ruth's areas, too. Even though you have very different life-styles, and lives in general, you -- all three of you -- are facing something similar. It is that your values have changed, that you deal with people on a different level now, and it is taking some doing to bow where you would not bow, apologize where before you would never have apologized, and hold your ground in areas where you would normally be walked on and taken for granted.

Let me lead you further on the journey as we focus with a single eye. It is almost of paramount importance that you continuously remember who you serve. There are so many faces and so many places and so many demands. When you serve the Christ you are not exhausted. You are not trying to please. You are impotent. This is very liberating. And as you allow yourself to embrace this idea that smacks of Mother Theresa in helping all the helpless souls that she attends, there are many Mother Theresas needed to go incognito, who are unselfish enough to give up being obsessed in how one should be looked after, how the conditions should be met and how their social needs should be met.

It is a simple life that you are leading, ahead of you. All these folds, these ridges, are like rough roads when you try to wear so many hats, but when you seek the middle road, you might say, among yourselves - I've heard this: "the middle road" or "straight and narrow." What we are saying is, it's sort of like what you call a Conrail. We want you to develop almost a -- I see a picture of a streetcar, with the attachment, an electrical line. I encourage you to think of yourself as a vehicle with a very light tether that will allow you to float along, in and out of all these obstacles, because you are developing and mastering, and your ego will try so hard to reestablish and define itself. It has always been that way. It will not leave you alone because the group consciousness keeps feeding it. Many of the things that you do today are not of you, but there is an invisible supply coming into you and you are a new creature in Christ.

I hope I have not disappointed you with my answer, but I want to encourage you to see a new scene. There is a jade carving, and it is a carving of a small horse or a donkey with a little man sitting with his back to the horse's head; he's astride the horse's buttocks and looking very much content, very secure. He was the driving force for his vehicle that had become obedient. And I want you to see the human personality that you have been living with for so many years as being the vehicle, and you are going to learn to live in it effortlessly because this personality, this human personality will bow to the higher self, this Thought Adjuster who loves you so much and guides you.

I hope I've not gone too far astray or made light of your concern.

Gerdean: I don't feel that you have made light of my concern at all! I've enjoyed listening to you. You are an interesting personality, Jasmine.

JASMINE: I would like to address Ruth. Ruth, allow yourself this quiet time to rest awhile from what is troubling you. It will make you strong, poised and appropriate. You have been given a demeanor at your own hand. The Father wants what is best for you. Your family waits with your whole image. Your whole bearing is ever-accommodating, but it is time now for your soul. It is time to allow Ruth to have free rein. She is most gracious in meeting the needs of others but not of herself.

Ruth: Well, it's hard to do that. I've done this for so long.

JASMINE: We talked about grooves and routines. Tomas did, about letting go of routines that are not fruitful, and relationships can be grooves. I am not indicating it is time to give up, but let it be a rising up of someone you do not know.

Ruth: I don't know. It's very frustrating right now.

JASMINE: Ask Christ Michael to help you. It is very perplexing here. There are many who have come to depend on you, and are content for you to live for them, but there is a higher path for you, for all of you, because there is great thirst and you are way-showers. It seems to be a very slow process. It is as seeding. Every time we come together, we are allowing the cultivation, and we hear the lesson in our head, it sounds familiar.

Do not be too hard on yourselves. It sounds like pie in the sky to think, "Do not worry about what you shall eat or what you shall drink." We say it glibly, but in truth, when you are at peace, it is very difficult to become torn. You have many things on your plate, but it doesn't mean that they all have to be tended to at once, and if you look at what's on your plate and find out how many things that are there belong to someone else, it will indeed lighten up your burden.

Let us talk about the role of comfort. Recently -- and this is from Hunnah's bank -- she had been having difficulty with judging and fearing someone's choice of hurt. She knows in her heart, but is troubled by her dual role: relationship with that person and giving credit to that person; and she knows it concerns the best. We give up our old roles of what we think friend should be, or parent, or sister, or brother. We wear so many hats. And she knows she can offer it up and let go of it, and indeed all is well, but that need to worry, to please everyone at their level, is indeed a burden.

This is not a painless procedure. Watching someone use their free will creatively and not asking your opinion is not always pleasant, but we have to respect others and allow them to grow when they don't even know they are having a lesson in growing! And if it causes them indigestion or discomfort, you are or may be called upon to generously provide one of those ...

Gerdean: Pepto bismol.

JASMINE: ... bubbly things, without an "I told you so" (because we know where those words come from). This is an art form! -- to be timely and appropriate.

I'm going to tell another story on Hunnah because I'm rather proud of it. I think I may have helped her with this. She has been burdened because she has felt that there are so many people to help. She found herself using visualization that -- I am sure there are two other people here who have so many people to help, in their mind, also, and they have their own picture, but in her case, she took these people that she could not find time for and imagined that Christ Michael was there and she kept piling them on his lap. And this lap is getting very full. She had a flashback of something her sister had made from clay. It's called the storyteller doll, like the old woman and the shoe, and there are children all over the storyteller mother, and Hunnah was making Christ Michael into the storyteller mother, the old woman and the shoe. "Christ Michael, fix this; Christ Michael, fix that. This one has this; this one has that." And she saw, suddenly, that she did not have to do that anymore. That Christ Michael had too many children already, and that she was being relegated to reach those and feed those who were sent to her for him.

You do not have to pass on those who have been sent. Their very coming to you is a sufficiency. This is the beginning of an understanding that can develop. When people come to you in need, even though you may not know how to raise your hands, open your mouth, open your wallet, whatever, it is truly easy to meet the level of need. For when they have come to you and spoken their needs, remind yourself that that very release has tripped and helped them to receive what gives meaning, and that you do not have to hold up or come running with your worry. He will give you the strength, because you have become the story-teller.

Mercy and compassion for all this love, all this need, having to care for everyone, is occasion for grace and honor. It pleases me to speak to you this way.

Gerdean: Wonderful. Wonderful words, Jasmine. Wonderful lesson. I feel like I've been in the presence of a song. Sometimes these teachers talk and they just feel like prayers, just like I'm sitting in a secret space, just because we're talking about our God and our soul and our growth and our reality. It's habit forming.

JASMINE: I hope it has helped lubricate your spirits.

* * *

TOMAS (Hunnah): Hello.

Gerdean: Hello, Tomas. It's nice to address you in this manner.

TOMAS: Hunnah is reeling in the background. She is not sure who I am.

Gerdean: Yes. Well, we've had a ladies night here, rather. Not that it's been sexist, but we've had a number of feminine teachers and some really good lessons, though I think that Jasmine is just really doing well, that Hunnah is doing excellently well. I really feel lightened by her contribution, by the growth there. I have complete faith in their integrity and I am very comfortable with the addition that they bring, by their involvement in this process, and it's just wonderful to be able to relate to you, Tomas, outside of myself, through another T/R. I haven't experienced that in quite a while. That's confirmation for me, you know, that you're real, when I can recognize you outside of myself.

TOMAS: Gerdean, we are very proud of you. You have been steadfast. Do not judge yourself. You have been a soldier of first class.

Gerdean: Thank you, Tomas.

TOMAS: Life is quite an adventure when you step out onto the waters. So many do not understand how very exciting it can be. I am not going to stay here. My T/R is anxious. It will take time. Trust.

Gerdean: I understand. It takes time.

TOMAS: We will work on this but we are pleased that she is trying.

Gerdean: Yes. And succeeding.

TOMAS: I was going to give you a very heavy subject this evening about responsibility. Responsibility is a scary word. It enters all the cracks and crevices of our experience. It says, "Panic! Have I done my homework? Is the deadline here already?" But remember, this word shall be elevated, so that you can expand your comprehension of it, and I shall bring the subject to you. Just the energies this evening will rally you. It is purification that you seek. I am looking forward to getting back on schedule. Do not be hard on yourself.

Do you want an assignment? Something to keep you on target?

Gerdean: Yeah, give us an assignment.

TOMAS: It will be easy. I'm going to ask that you allow yourself to see opportunities to encourage others. Not just in your spiritual development. The words will be given to you. When you are in conversation, pause, and remember that word: respond. Allow yourself to become encouragers in this next period. That should be enough. Thank you.

Ruth and Gerdean: Thank you, Tomas.

JASMINE: Hunnah is reluctant to identify by name. 

Gerdean: I understand.

JASMINE: I think it is because she read somewhere that the message and the messenger are all one, and so she doesn't care, or prefers not to know the messenger. We shall work this out. It is important that she trust. There's something you wanted to talk about.

Gerdean: Well, I don't know, but we were chatting and you were talking, and when you were talking to Ruth, you were talking about her family, and I was thinking about my family and about the values they instilled in me, and some of my confusion is that when I have these relationships with people, I'm supposed to marry them or supposed to expect them to want to marry me or something, and I find that I get into many relationships to introduce them to the Urantia Book and spend time with their soul, and then that's it! You know? I guess I have a different purpose in meeting people and in engaging with people than my clan would have me. do, so I sometimes get confused because my earthly parent and my heavenly parent seem to have different agendas laid out for me.

JASMINE: Isn't this wonderful?

Gerdean: Yes, it is.

JASMINE: Was this a problem when you lived in Pocatello?

Gerdean: No, it has never really been a serious problem, but I tell you, as I get older and closer to infirmity and social security, the clan values do creep up on me! But I have to say this about that: my eternal parents will take better care of me than my temporal parents, like my beloved Michael will embrace me deeper than my sweethearts.

JASMINE: I see two situations here. When you serve the Christ, you are able to let the "clan values" be. It simply will not bother you. When you serve the Christ, it's sort of like going to Africa or to some far off land, where you just automatically accept the culture, and if they invite you to join them, you honor them. You partake and enjoin them with their customs that your ease will affect them in such a way as the pressure will disappear. As you remain content in your new form, these so-called pressures will simply evaporate. As you appear to like yourself, because you are wearing your ascension countenance and you are comfortable in it, those around you will sense your self-worth and it will affect your relationship. Some will keep their distance from you; some will come closer; and that so-called tug-of-war will start to develop. We're talking about human culture.

In regard to your very tenacious approach, your grip on your devotion to the higher way, it may not be. It simply is. It need not be so tenacious. You will wear it as a robe, not as armor. It will protect you if necessary, or it will flatter if necessary. Sometimes we can take our belief system and hold it up like a shield when we don't want something. It reminds Hunnah, who had a child who very skillfully used these parental limitations to its convenience. When he didn't want something, he would say something like, "Dad will kill me if." and in this case, we can use a religious belief, a vow. We can use it to our own hidden agenda ...

Gerdean: Yes, I see that.

JASMINE: ... for self protection. And this, of course, is the skin of the human being. And when you get uncomfortable, you can seek the shelter of the culture, the religion, and marriage! So what happens here is a call to you to come into the center, into the stillness, where you receive your beauty treatment because you are ambassadors of a new and living way. You do not have to make war, or love, or any profound statement.

Gerdean: I got that out of a lesson that Tomas gave not long ago about differences, and about religious war, that it's basically an ego kind of a thing; it's a defense kind of a thing.

JASMINE: It's a division.

Gerdean: It's a division, yeah, and it can reek of spiritual ego and superiority and "my god is bigger than your god."

JASMINE: And as you stay focused, that too shall be polished, be molded, but it is because of God's authority, not "because I told you so!" We have talked about this before. Where you need resolution or understanding because you deserve it, or greater reward or attention, you will get better at recognizing yesterday's selves because yesterday is gone. Your teacher called it "yesterday's consciousness solidified."

I hope I have helped you. I have talked so much this evening I don't even remember the question, except that you asked regarding how to react to a human achievement. You have an opportunity to use what Tomas suggested -- and Hunnah really liked this because she could identify -- "reacting and responding." And if you wish to have a shining moment, many shining moments, just be; and then the response, and allow it to be.

You have a Thought Adjuster who wants to assist you in this because it knows other Thought Adjusters and wants to have them spoken to, accommodatingly. It gives you reason to speak to someone with respect if you remember they have a Thought Adjuster. The church talks about the Christ in the other person. The phrase has been worn thin. It needs to be refreshed, and in that refreshment, you can use a new phrase. A new form may come to you, to help you stay in that fresh, clear place of truth.

I'm glad we talked, because it does say in scripture, "my yoke is easy, my burden is light." Have you had enough today?

Ruth and Gerdean: Yes.

JASMINE: You had a great thirst.

Gerdean: Yes, a great thirst. I feel renewed.

JASMINE: And I feel appreciated.

Gerdean: I'll bet! I hope Hunnah's not exhausted.

JASMINE: She is reeling!

Gerdean: Well, hopefully she will have a better understanding of the difference between Hunnah and Jasmine and Tomas now. Perhaps just a little bit of exposure here and a little more exposure there and the difference will be clear.

JASMINE: Many have been here this evening.

Gerdean: Good. Nice to have a little spiritual boost in Butler.

JASMINE: They are grateful. Butler doesn't know what it's missing. Television was very good this evening, but it was very good here, too. (Giggles) Good night.
















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