[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 12.11.06

[JERRY LANE]

Nebadonia—December 11, 2006

Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.

NEBADONIA—T/R-JL

(The dynamic, tipping balance of being alive)
(Competing principles)
(Insight and foresight)
(Wishes and wisdom)
(Making provision)
(Rising to meet an occasion)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael:    As we approach the season of celebrating 
the birth of a Creator Son as a small baby human on our planet, we feel 
again that familiar pull.  On the one hand we have the hopeful expressions 
of an ideal—peace on earth, good will to men; which seems to make all the 
sharper the lacerating shards of reality—the pain and sadness that people 
deliberately inflict on each other. So once again we ask your help in 
accomplishing this stretch you have called upon us to attempt, standing 
firmly on our understanding of the real, and our acceptance of it, yet never 
forgetting to stretch so that at least our fingertips can touch the ideal.  
Amen.

NEBADONIA:  Good evening my children, this is your mother, Nebadonia.  I 
want to thank you for coming out on this blustery winter evening to share 
this visit with me.  I know it is a very genuine and heartfelt warmth you 
derive when you do make an effort to follow your heart, to go where you know 
you are loved, and you can love in return.  This is the real stuff of this, 
or any other season of your heart and your soul.

(The dynamic, tipping balance of being alive)

Tonight I would like to talk about the living balance that constitutes human 
experience, and how, just as in your prayer this evening, it does call for 
you to stretch and keep open to these two polarities, these two ends of a 
moral continuum that sometimes seems to have you on a rack.  For feeling 
that balance tipping back and forth between good and evil, between what is 
possible or only probable, between what is real and what is ideal, the 
feeling of this often comes across as a kind of anxiety and insecurity.  
We’ve labeled this as the impenetrability of the future, which can back up 
into, and overshadow your present.  Let me suggest that this feeling of the 
living balance of these possibilities is the very essence of life itself, 
especially human life where you are beset by certain economic determinism’s. 
  Here I’m referring to those aspects of your life—food, shelter, energy, 
time—in which decisions must be made of this or that, where, considering 
mankind as a whole, there has never been enough.  I’m suggesting that this 
feeling of uncertainty tipping back and forth is largely uncomfortable 
because of some mass cultural illusions being  held that actually represent 
a kind of immaturity, both of the race and the individual.

This is understandable.  There is a need to constantly clear your present 
moment of certain past considerations because here comes a whole new bundle 
of considerations out of the future.  After a tragic event you speak of 
finding closure, some way of wrapping up the event, some way of 
encapsulating it, or closing it so you can get on with your life.  Yet there 
is also abroad recently a good sense of honesty, of sharing, by those who 
have lost someone dearly beloved, or those who have gone through some 
traumatic experiences, where they will confess that, even years and years 
later, they still have their nightmares, they still have their sadness and 
moments of depression.  It seems there is something in them—wise or 
unwise—that needs to relive these moments and experience them again, keep 
them open so that they add to the meaning of life.  When there is no 
closure, when you feel things opening up again beyond your control, this 
leads to an anxiety to feel this living balance tipping back and forth.  You 
long to have it over with.  You long to have it finished and settled.

Mankind has always dreamed of a golden age, sometimes putting it in the past 
as if it actually happened once upon a time, and in this the fall of Adam 
and Eve from grace does remind us there was, at least an ideal purpose of a 
Material Son and Daughter who actually did come to earth, whose children 
were to biologically up-step the aboriginal human races so that within forty 
or fifty generations there would be almost no persistence of negative 
biological traits.  But there were also once illusions of the “noble 
savage,” illusions of tribal communism where everything was joyously shared 
equally.  This is where your Urantia book, and your more modern history, and 
even the Bible—concerning more recent centuries, go to some pains to remind 
you of the hundreds of thousands of years of incessant tribal warfare based 
on the principle of an eye for an eye, leading to revenge and retribution as 
a stark necessity of life.  Those tribes who did not immediately avenge some 
aggression against them would simply be enslaved and dissolved/digested.  
You are reminded how all of the larger political/social units came about 
through conquest, right up to the nations of the present day.  Even 
so-called voluntary alliances between tribes, or later, sovereign states, 
came about solely to address a balance of power against other alliances.  
This is the true history of your planet.

(Competing principles)

Yet you had the introduction of a counter-balancing or competing principle, 
one that fully accepts with insight the one of an eye for an 
eye—retribution—and simply asks with foresight--projecting this on into the 
future—how can one put an end to this?  And this is the principle of 
forgiveness and love.  This is the understanding that sooner or later there 
has to be an undeniably arbitrary decision that the retribution stops now, 
with you.  However ones gross sense of justice is offended, however much one 
knows of certain horrific acts that need to be retaliated, there has to be 
found some way to forgive ones enemies, to embrace them and turn them into 
friends.  This is all the more critical in today’s world where so many who 
are caused to suffer are truly innocent of any evil intentions, and have 
only a racial, or religious, or cultural connection with the original 
conflict.  Indeed it was some small but necessary measure of civilization in 
these past few centuries when warfare was at least attempted to be limited 
to the older males as combatants, a principle that fell apart rather 
dramatically in the last century with the waging of total war against 
civilian populations.

How to stay open when it costs you this anxiety: this is the challenge.  How 
to thoroughly understand the true history of the human race, yet appreciate 
against this background of warfare the much more enormous, profoundly 
greater sheer amount of joy and love and companionship that mankind has 
known?  This sharing of life’s joys and pain so totally dwarfs mankind’s 
intentional cruelty and aggression.  You must realize deep in your heart, 
from your own evaluation of the meaning of life, just how wonderful—on the 
whole—has been the story of mankind.  Don’t forget, my children, as we talk 
about the social/political development of tribes into larger units, finally 
into the nation states you know, this is just one single thread in the 
tapestry of your race.  In every human life you have those thousands of days 
just sharing your moment to moment reality with your father or mother, your 
sisters or brothers, your neighbors or friends.  This has always enormously 
outweighed the suffering caused by evil intention.  Life has always been 
worth it, except for those very few individuals who chose to end their own.

So let yourselves feel this balance.  Your sense of morality is one of the 
great prerogatives of your personality, innate in your very being.  You need 
to feel this as you go through your days.  Those of you who are a little bit 
older and are hearing or reading my words, can recognize immediately how 
this assurance has grown within you over the years.  You can think back on 
some of your earlier quests for the truth of life and the hopes you would 
have some definitive experience that would settle the matter once and for 
all—whether you called it Enlightenment, or Realization, Satori, or whatever 
  Then came the slowly dawning truth that truth itself is alive, and 
growing, ever reaching out to be all-inclusive.  Principles are limited or 
contained by their opposites.  Those who cling to just one principle to the 
exclusion of all others—shall we say that of revenge or retribution—to 
achieve justice, forgetting about mercy, and love, and forgiveness, are 
setting their feet upon an endless round of violence.

(Insight and foresight)

Here is another fine balance between your insight into reality--that your 
mind and your spirit give you by living in the moment and being open to all 
it contains, finding its counterpoise with foresight—the ability to 
extrapolate certain trends and behaviors into the future, and allowing this 
to affect you now.  You try as best you can to foresee the consequences of 
your actions.  Without this you are just groping around blind, knowing only 
what is under your hand at the moment.  On the other extreme you have those 
who are always living in the future.  They feel they can only start living 
when this or that condition finally comes to pass, straining to see so far 
ahead, and basing their present moment on that, they can literally miss 
living fully now.  This is a kind of paradox if you approach it from the 
position that there is some settled reality, some final truth, if you could 
only realize it, for it would be worth any price you had to pay in terms of 
sacrificing now.

Your greatest security, in your spiritual home base—experiencing your 
spiritual dimensions—is one of dynamic creativity.  Even leaving this home 
base you experience in your practice of stillness, to more and more 
continuously realize how you are co-creating that world out there, means you 
are being more responsible for it, and to it.  This is only scary stuff 
because of the way you approach it.  Michael had his lesson on, because of 
how you realize these different dimensions or aspects of your being--first 
the material, then the mental, then the spiritual—you have to rise above 
illusions of materialism, illusions of finding some universal psychology or 
human nature, to ultimately perceive and embrace the uniqueness of your own 
spiritual personality, and everyone else’s.  Yet throughout this whole 
process of maturation, my children, you do have a wonderful movement of 
realization, of discovering things about yourself, about who and what you 
are, that were always there.  These are not inventions so much as they are 
discoveries.  They just take a kind of creative courage to encounter and 
accept, to not get stuck along the way.

With this comes the one way out of this essential dilemma of being a human 
being: you grow.  You stretch to encompass all that ever was, and discover 
the miracle of being able to add something more to it.  As Michael said 
recently, referring to a person who had too many melodramatic past instances 
still plaguing her, the only solution was to counter-balance these very 
real-seeming events with something wonderful and creative now.  On the basis 
of this real accomplishment, and the insights it could give her on what 
works, could she foresee a brighter future.  Another balance to consider.  
But this, my children, is feeling life itself as it flows through you, 
feeling all those tipping possibilities resolving into the one actuality 
happening.  You can find real spiritual confidence in the very ungraspable 
nature of life.  Do you have it, or does it have you?  And does it matter?  
Perhaps in the final essence, you are one with it.

So when you feel that anxiety of things moving profoundly, where they never 
moved before, recognize you have just stepped onto a larger stage of action 
and reaction, and realize you are beginning to further actualize a potential 
life that is your very essence, and always was.  Here is where you find the 
real strength to be of good cheer, and meet your neighbor with a supporting 
smile.

If you have any questions or comments this evening, let’s feel our way 
through them.

Student (with much nervous laughter):  Yes, Mother, once again your topic 
tonight seems appropriate—finding balance in all the feelings I’m feeling.  
I had a session with Michael on Saturday, concerning the possibility of a 
relationship with a woman who is quite young.  I was reflecting on the 
conversation you and I had a few weeks before on an ideal relationship, and 
the so-called dating game.  What I’m feeling toward this young lady: it 
seems my soul desires to share so much of myself, I feel that life has 
kind-of taken me on a magic carpet ride.  I feel out of balance; I feel a 
tug of war going on inside me.  Either I can resist it, or see where it 
takes me.  It feels rich with possibilities.  As long as I stay out of 
trying to impose my will on her, and just allow it to take its course, then 
the experience—the wealth of that experience could be immeasurable.  But I 
have no idea, because she is young; yet she must think something of me if 
she is willing to go to the symphony…

So that’s what’s percolating in me right now, like I’m on the verge of tears 
so much because the yearning and feelings are so strong.  I am keeping a 
watchful eye on myself.

(Wishes and wisdom)

NEBADONIA:  My son, this is a perfect living example of what I was talking 
about.  With respect to a future relationship, you do have those ideals of 
how you would like it to come out, or develop, yet your wisdom tells you 
that there is this other person with her own ideals, her own wishes, and 
hopes, and fears.  Tonight I merely wanted to assure you that there is no 
easy way out.  This is the stuff of life itself, this unknowing yet taking a 
chance and reaching out that occasions a nervous humor as you consider the 
dating game.  Right within the reality of that moment to moment 
contact—taking a walk, going to a movie or a dinner, whatever—you can’t help 
but reach for an assessment of the potential; or as you put it: is there any 
future in this?  That’s the foresight part.  Sometimes a very 
pleasant-seeming present moment can suddenly go hollow with a feeling that 
there is no future here.  That occasions another decision.  Do you continue 
with what is pleasant enough—now, and add that to your soul, or in the 
economy of never enough time and only one life to live, do you end this 
relationship so you can reach for another?  This is what is entailed.  So as 
Michael gave you his blessings in the attempt, (more nervous laughter…) let 
me add mine too.  Proceed with your eyes wide open. (and Mother joins in)

Student:  In some ways it is going against convention, but that’s never 
stopped me before… (-ditto-)  But I am more concerned for her, and what she 
thinks.  So…

But I have no idea where I’m going—as we’ve talked about many times before.

(Making provision)

NEBADONIA:  As your Urantia book puts it: for human beings insight 
definitely has to proceed foresight.  You have to live as fully as you can 
today to see what you are capable of, what life is offering you, in order to 
project.  At the same time, you know certain inevitabilities are on their 
way—possible injuries, accidents, the surety of old age and its attendant 
decrepitude—all of these are very foreseeable.  So there is no substitute 
for making plans, making provision, giving up something now as a gift to 
that future you.  Even the animal kingdom knows this lesson well, right down 
to the ants versus the grasshoppers.

Student:  What I struggle with is the means to do so.  My income at the 
present time doesn’t allow me the opportunity to put anything aside.  Then 
with helping my children, all I can do is live here and now, and then, as 
Jesus said, let tomorrow take care of itself, or…you know what I’m referring 
to.  I just have faith because of how my life has been up to this point, 
that the universe will take care of me, and will provide for me, in ways I 
cannot foresee.  I am open.

I read something recently where it says, don’t let the future rob your 
faith’s sweet fulfillment.  That was so beautiful.

NEBADONIA:  Here again we’re looking another balance right in the eye.  Keep 
in mind that provision for the future is not all material.  There are those 
who totally ruin their physical and mental health stockpiling material 
goods—savings and such—and end up driving themselves into an early grave.  
Just finding out what is a healthy life, a mentally stable and interesting 
life, brings about the security of character.

Student:  I have, at least, no problems with my health.  I feel I do live a 
balanced life that way.  I’m mentally vital and spiritually aware of my 
place in this universe.  I feel life coursing through my being; and love, 
and compassion.  I feel strongly that life is for me, and wants me to excel; 
and to allow it to be expressed and lived more fully.

With what has been written about, or channeled recently—the possibility of a 
lot of the population of this planet being decimated, I think it would 
behoove humanity to raise their level  of awareness and absorb God’s 
reality, God’s original intention of what human beings are supposed to be.  
We need to raise above our limitations, and do the great works Jesus said we 
can do.

I read in Masters of the Far East: if these people who are just like me can 
do these miraculous things like walk on water, or walk through fire, 
manifest money in their hands, or assist someone with healing, then every 
human being can do so as well.  We don’t have to be limited by what we see 
around us, by our beliefs and conventions.  There is so much more to our 
lives.  As you have said, we are infinite potential; it’s time we started 
living that, and allowing it to manifest.

NEBADONIA:  Yes, my son, these are the ideals that, if you stop reaching for 
them, you  stop living fully.  This is the essence of faith, the confidence 
of spirit that ever beckons you forward.  Faith helps you perceive an 
universal or cosmic growth, an evolution taking place, and striving to be 
one with that.  This is the deep feeling that this is the natural order, 
this ability all personal beings share with their Father—the creative growth 
of soul.  Spiritually, soulfully, all of reality is expanding.

Student:  We need to break out of our boxes of self-imposed limitations and 
conventions.  I don’t know the exact wording of the saying, but why are we 
trying to solve today’s problems with the same though processes that created 
them?

NEBADONIA:  Yes, this is the individual creativity needed to evolve, to 
emulate our Father and come up with something new that does not deny the 
past, but includes it and appreciates it, and finds a way forward.  And it 
is happening all around, sometimes so fast people protest of future shock, 
that it is happening too fast.  There are a lot of the old ways, especially 
of revenge and retribution, that have to give way to a loving and forgiving 
allowing everyone to live.  This takes enormous inner security and faith, to 
be content to live ones life, and let your neighbor live his or hers without 
demanding he or she live as you do.  That is still the sticking point for 
most of the disagreements on Urantia today.  That inner self confidence, 
that inner valuing of all life, is a spiritual creativity.

Student:  I do thank you and welcome your and Michael’s validation of the 
security within me, and the idealism I have, because I know in the past—I’m 
not saying I got reprimanded—I was asked to be more cautious with my 
idealism, and not be so analytical—so to speak.  But I see this is mankind’s 
way out, to honor the God-self in himself, and in all others; to see as God 
sees; to love as God loves; to create as God creates.  That would be heaven. 
  It’s here, if one will just see it, and allow it to be embraced.  We are 
all little heavens, but I know that’s hard to fathom with all that’s going 
on in the world.  To some it may be inappropriate because of the suffering 
and the pain.

NEBADONIA:  Yet another balance between the potential and the actual…

Student:  Yes!—that seems to be where I’m at.  But I do thank you for your 
blessings regarding my interest in this young lady.  What is the point in 
resisting?  What is to be feared?  So…

NEBADONIA:  You are very welcome, my son.  We do wish you good luck in all 
your endeavors…

Student:  And you will be with me, as I go on this date…  Please… (much 
laughter)

(Rising to meet an occasion)

NEBADONIA:  We’ll be there for both of you.  I hope this evening I’ve given 
all who may come to read these words some insight as to the desirability of 
feeling what may have occasioned anxiety in the past.  Hopefully this can 
lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of the complexity of your 
kind of being where you have different aspects of yourself acting somewhat 
independently at times.  Because there is a wisdom to that.  In his 
discussion Saturday, Michael mentioned the anxiety you will feel approaching 
a new person, or a new job, a new situation—what actors call stage fright, 
which is actually the deep wisdom of foresight within you releasing enormous 
stored energies so you can come up to the moment.  You feel yourself 
queasily shifting gears inside in preparation.  So it is nice to know that 
right beneath the surface anxiety of feeling yourself being moved, you can 
have confidence in this deeper wisdom/energy that is rising to meet the 
occasion.  This confidence is another priceless pearl you have to earn, yet 
that earning is helped by reflection; sometimes even by the stubborn courage 
not to panic--(Mother chuckles).

This is what we mean by your being an experiential being.  The larger 
purpose of your present life is to experience, to be open to experience, to 
be aware of and to eschew all those life-robbing techniques of avoiding 
experience.  Always remember, my dear children, nothing of true spiritual 
value is ever lost.  Every spiritually meaningful experience is yours 
forever.  Be in my love.  Good evening.


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