[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 5.8.06

[JERRY LANE]

Nebadonia—May 8, 2006

Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.

NEBADONIA—T/R-JL

(Be the embodiment of God’s love)
(God’s spirit reality within the physical realm)
(Two basic drives in being human)
(An irony: detachment leads to greater experience)
(Making provision for the future)
(Your partnership with God)
(Freedom is not forced upon you)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    We welcome You, our dear parents, our 
close friends.  So tonight our prayer is very simple: we invite You to share 
our lives with us.  And we ask that You help us be aware of Your presence.  
We pray for the strength and the courage to realize as best we can Your 
spiritual viewpoint on our human reality.  Amen.

(Be the embodiment of God’s love)

NEBADONIA:  Good evening, My dear sons, this is your mother, Nebadonia.  
Like Michael, I too treasure the moments when you realize what a dear friend 
I long to be with you.  This is Our treasure, and if We have anything 
approximating the good aspects of human pride—the pure delight that 
something is—We delight that We can be close to you this way.  This is the 
glory of being the Mother Spirit and Creator Son of a Local Universe.  This 
is the essence of Our divinity, that We are able to share Ourselves with our 
children, and enjoy our children’s lives as the richest part of Our own.  In 
this We represent, We actually are, We enjoy the connection of love that you 
prize so highly.  We are literally the embodiment of God’s love for all of 
us, and We encourage you to do your best to feel yourselves to be that 
embodiment as well.

No pun intended, but you do have the bodies for it.  OK, maybe that was a 
pun.  But your physical existence, while beset with certain limitations of 
time and space, does have its equally marvelous compensations.  Your bodies 
give you contact with a reality governed by natural law, the cause and 
effect that, as you have so recently discovered, is in its own way both 
bottomless into the infinitesimal, and infinite in its extension.  The 
physical universe that your bodily sensations give you access to can be a 
marvel to experience, and so you can rightly feel blessed--if you have a 
great appreciation for both your physical bodies and the physical world they 
put you in touch with.

Indeed these discoveries have been valuable and valid extensions of mankind, 
especially in the recent times of the scientific revolution where larger and 
larger groups of men and women accepted the discipline of having to 
demonstrate what they were proposing.  For this was the way you did discover 
and are so greatly elucidating natural law, which is more or less God’s 
habitual way of doing things.  The very scope and enormity of it does give 
you a feeling of humility, for as you appreciate the history of science, you 
can have the humility of realizing that today’s theories and ideas are sure 
to be surpassed sometime, perhaps in the very near future.  You are 
literally living in the middle of an explosion that started a few hundred 
years ago and, as your very modern electronics are proving the case, things 
are changing enormously rapidly because of it.

So discovering all this natural law, all these habitual ways of God’s doing 
things, is wonderful and exciting.  It gives you an ever greater sense of 
the continuity of God’s absoluteness, the infinity of His outworking both 
large and small.  If you will recall, it has even been Michael’s and My 
purpose to show you the limitations of this view of continuity, and point 
out something that is, not discontinuous, but existing right within the 
continuity—a newness, a  uniqueness of events that have never happened 
before and will never happen again.  As far as Michael and I are concerned, 
this only increases Our delight in God’s imagination, His creativity, that 
He could come up with a reality that is at one and the same time so 
absolutely reliable, so perfectly continuous right down to each single 
electron’s bouncing around in its little nano-second of events, yet at the 
same time, ever new--in a way not repeating itself, but capable of being 
unique each moment, on and on forever.

(God’s spirit reality within the physical realm)

So We offer you the notion of the spirituality within physical reality.  The 
physical world both without you and right within you as your physical bodies 
is not only continuous and reliable, but also ever new.  That leaf you see 
falling from a tree outside never fell before, nor will it ever fall again.  
This is the spirit--if you will, the value within the world you see, for 
this is its very nature.  Your own bodies, though persisting day to day, 
year to year, are also continuously changing.  As you have paid more 
attention and learned more about these changes, you have to a large degree 
transcended some of the inevitabilities of past generations in terms of 
aging—what old age means.  You’ve even come to the point where in your more 
modern societies by far the greater proportion of disease and accidents that 
befall you physically are within your realm of freedom, are a matter of your 
own choices or negligence.  And so We have offered you Our lessons on being 
open in such a way as to stay present with yourselves, and realize what is 
happening of your freewill choices, especially in terms of what you might 
call bad or unhealthy habits--the lack of resolve or the discipline to do 
what you know is the right thing.

Tonight I would like to offer a viewpoint on two impulses or drives within 
you.  One We have designated the hunger for perfection, the notion that 
there is kind of spiritual growth possible, a way of improving the quality 
of your life day by day, where you are increasing your knowledge, your 
wisdom, you inner power to do things, your decisiveness, your ability to 
choose among alternatives.  Yet obviously this can lead to impatience, even 
intolerance toward others you feel may be holding you back, or intolerance 
toward yourself by indulging in self-anger or guilt because you are not  
keeping up with some imagined program.  Counterbalancing this hunger for 
perfection, this need to keep growing, is a kind of conservation of 
energies, a conservation of a status-quo—simply continuing as you are.  My 
point tonight is that neither of these drives should be disrespected or 
slighted, but rather it does you well to see a fulfilled life as a balance 
between them.  Obviously too much conservatism, too much emphasis upon 
maintaining a status-quo can actually lead to regression, a kind of 
back-sliding into laziness where an illusion of clinging to the same, secure 
thing day after day, that you’ve already known, causes you to miss the 
changes that are happening to you, and the opportunities possible.  Some of 
you think of this as an animal tendency--with some validity, because both 
animals and very primitive men generally only think when they’re hungry.  As 
soon as their bellies are full they sleep until they get hungry again.

(Two basic drives in being human)

I ask you to see if you can feel these two drives within you, so you can 
recognize them, and have some conscious choice of what you need.  Sometimes 
after a long, hard week of work you have so many things planned for the 
weekend, and then are dismayed when Sunday arrives you have no energy for 
them.  This is not only being physically tired, but being mentally or 
spiritually exhausted.  You can feel very desperate within yourself, rather 
than realizing you need to take a break from a linear/planned kind of time 
to feel your organic life.  The best thing for you might be to tinker 
around, take it easy, have fun doing nothing, enjoy being lazy for a day.  
In this case, welcome some variety in your life.  You all know examples of 
those who are driving themselves into an early grave trying to do two or 
three things at once every day of the week.  Whereas on the other hand, 
isn’t it refreshing after a day or two of being lazy to feel that old drive, 
that old ambition come back, and bestir yourselves, get out there and 
welcome another new adventure?  See yourself growing in your wisdom, your 
power—the great joy of accomplishing things.

So feel these two complimentary drives within you.  Feel for how much they 
seem to be simply a fact happening to you, and then decide how much to 
either embrace or change your current state.  Ultimately there is no 
status-quo.  You are bound for Paradise, no matter how many millions of 
years it takes or what enormous expanses of the universe you will traverse 
to get there, both within time and space and then beyond it.  Yet within 
this overall adventure you were created to enjoy, you do have your little 
rest-stops, your moments of fulfillment,  your need to stop and conserve 
your energies from being frittered away.  You need to appreciate how far 
you’ve come, and how far you still have to go.

So feel for this balance within yourselves, My children.  Feel for the 
wisdom you are slowly accumulating as an ability to accept your present 
situation fully--to understand it, then let that be the basis of your free 
will.  Practice your stillness.  Let everything stop so you can rediscover 
your home base, for it too is changing.  Settle into where you are.  
Perceive the spiritual presence of the present moment, then linger awhile.  
Even though all the good ideas that come to you in your stillness tend to 
make you jump up and get going again, just stay awhile.  Be still.  Feel 
your breathing and your heartbeat.  Enjoy your absolute existence.  Then 
rise up refreshed.  Look around in mild surprise at your human reality, and 
wonder anew how our Father does it.  And away you go again, off to try your 
next experiment in being you.

Oh!—by the way—don’t forget to take Michael and I with you.

If you have any questions or comments this evening, I do believe that’s the 
next step.

Student:  Yes, Mother, the word thirst came to mind, and how I seem to be 
always thirsting to understand more of who I am and more of all that’s 
around me--how I thirst to be still and experience the presence of God 
within me.  Then I was thinking about being human and what a privilege it is 
to be able to experience all I am in being human, and of spirit.  I was 
listening to a beautiful piece of music on the way here, and I thought, God, 
this is perfect—this beautiful piece of music.  The sun was setting...and it 
was perfect—just to be able to hear and to be moved by this piece of music.  
It’s what life is all about.  Or to be able to have a piece of bread and 
cheese, and to enjoy that; and a glass of wine.  To be able to hug my 
daughter, and my son.  It’s interesting—the topic You brought up tonight, 
because I have been kind-of finding the balance between this thirst, this 
hunger for perfection, and conserving, or living in this world, and letting 
go of familiarity.  I mentioned to Michael last week how I’d like to do 
other things with my life, but I also know things don’t happen so fast as 
I’d like.  And I do notice a different quality within me, of seeing this 
world around me—a sense of detachment—a different texture that I feel.

(An irony: detachment leads to greater experience)

NEBADONIA:  My son, there is some real irony involved in how feeling 
yourself to be detached this way can actually increase your perception of 
yourself and your connection to the world.  The same applies to the degree 
to which you can achieve a marvelously still home base within yourself—in 
this sense, how detaching yourself from your activity for a certain special 
time enables you to refresh yourself spiritually so you can return to your 
activities with a greater sense of freedom.  You can choose to do this or 
that because you now have a more conscious choice: you’ve just earned it.  
Michael mentioned last week how having this home base, and feeling your 
self-completeness within yourself, enables you to be more present for 
others, to be a better friend, because you now have something to give.

Your detachment from your friend’s troubles is what they need.  You are 
providing a viewpoint they may not be capable of.  You can help them see 
themselves as another sees them.  You’re providing that precious, hopefully 
more objective viewpoint, the very thing they need for their understanding 
of what’s happening to them.  Think of the marvelous feedback that friends 
can give each other just because there is a bond of trust and love.  You can 
totally disagree with a friend and yet realize that underneath it all you 
each mean well.

And so the paradoxical appearance of these things dissolves with a true 
understanding of what’s happening.  It suddenly appears a real blessing, and 
you can give thanks you were introduced to this way of finding, and  
rediscovering your home base, your spiritual dimension, through stillness.

Student:  Where does this desire to do something more fulfilling, something 
different with my life, come from?  Sometimes I feel it’s more ego-driven 
than actual inspiration.  As I was writing in my journal yesterday, and I 
asked Michael last week, it’s been my intention to open up to my 
calling—whatever that is.  So I wonder what drives this desire for something 
more or different in my life?  There is that saying: be careful what you 
wish for?—it may actually happen?  It may not be what you had in mind.  So 
there is that trepidation.  I know I’m changing.  I know I’m growing and 
evolving.  I know I’m becoming more sensitive and aware of an absolute 
reality.  I think it’s a natural inclination for us, that when we are 
exposed to this reality, this greater understanding, we want to share it 
with others.  I wrote this in my journal: I want to share my love, share 
this essence, share God with others.  If I don’t do that, what’s the point 
of my existence?

NEBADONIA:  Your drive to achieve has many levels or layers to it, because a 
lot of it is cultural, a very modern invention that endless thousands and 
thousands of years of humankind’s existence did not know.  As your Urantia 
book has informed you, for hundreds of thousands of years there was very 
little individual or tribal progress.  Primitive man was extraordinarily 
conservative, clinging to what he felt did work because with such a little 
knowledge of natural law, it seemed to him the  slightest deviation from a 
status-quo of tribal knowledge--actually ritual--was immediately disastrous.

Compared to that, modern society, especially in these last few centuries of 
scientific discovery, and the fantastically accelerated evolution of a 
highly industrial, and then mechanical, and now electronic world, has 
everybody expecting things to change, and change ever more rapidly.  It’s 
now a type of ambition you absorb as you are growing up.  Within this 
overall situation, We merely try to spiritualize your ambition and point you 
toward more eternal, longer lasting values--hence Our lessons on introducing 
you to your own souls, the spiritual records of your experiences here.

While you feel this expectation propelling you toward a changing tomorrow, 
We remind you that what you are doing today, each moment, is your true 
possession.  Being here-and-now is an achievement, a supreme spiritual 
achievement.  For again, paradoxically-seeming, it requires you stay open to 
the past—the true story of what has happened, and feel the whole 
impenetrable possibility that the future is.  Although it includes being 
aware of how imperfect you are as a young being just starting out in 
eternity—perfection being some truly enormous goal that will validly occupy 
you for… (Mother laughed here) endless eons to come; still right here and 
now you are complete.

>From time to time you realize this completeness when one of your human 
moments swells to touch your soul with its momentary, seeming perfection—a 
little bread and cheese, a piece of music as you are driving to your Monday 
night meeting.  So you have these moments of transcendental oneness with 
everything.  Yet even these cannot be held for long.  And so you learn to 
let them go lightly, so that they may happen again.  Everything is changing. 
  Here comes another now.

Student:  I guess the desire to change is in a sense a dissatisfaction with 
the way things are now.  Like I’m always wanting something different: 
wanting more money, wanting to be able to do something—the freedom to do 
other things: take a vacation, buy myself a new truck because mine is 
falling apart.

NEBADONIA: But isn’t it nice to know your own imagination is creating these 
possibilities by contrast with which you feel this dissatisfaction?  
Otherwise you would feel yourself being driven by some exterior force, such 
as your culture’s general ambition to possess a lot of stuff.  Think of the 
freedom when you realize these are your own choices, or what you have 
internalized.  There is great discomfort in feeling you are not meeting 
someone else’s mark.

Student:  Yeah, I get that, I mean I see that--like with my Mother.  She 
worries so much about my future, how I’m going to have money for my future, 
how can I continue doing the work that I do as I get older.  I don’t know 
what the future holds for me.  As Jesus points out, just be here and now and 
let the future, let tomorrow take care of itself.  I’m gradually embracing 
that.

(Making provision for the future)

NEBADONIA:  Yet even the little squirrels know to gather nuts for winter.  
One does need to make provision.  It’s part of the conserving…

Student:   And that’s where I get confused sometimes.   When You say that, I 
feel this anxiety in my stomach.  (heavy sigh)

NEBADONIA:  But keep in mind this is also part of the advancement of 
culture, for society is truly an imperfect insurance policy.  The very fact 
you have a medium of exchange—money—is a kind of social agreement that what 
happens today will be given validity tomorrow.  Your labors today will be 
worth food and shelter tomorrow, and the next day, or years from now.  All 
your recognition of private property, which was by no means universal 
throughout history, or even the present day, means there is a valid way of 
accumulating wealth.  So this too is a social contract.  You can make wise 
physical provision for tomorrow.  At the same time you realize it is not 
absolute.  It is all very relative to something you call good health.  This 
is also part of the full human situation.

Student:  That’s where I feel I’m in limbo.  I’m like walking on air.  I’m 
walking in darkness with my arms outstretched feeling for something, feeling 
for an idea, or feeling for faith.  Because as You said, it’s not absolute.  
I desire to live in the truth, to experience the absolute reality, to 
experience God’s reality, not some  man-made reality.  Man-made reality is 
limiting.  It’s temporal.  I’m grasping here, I know.

NEBADONIA:  Might I suggest that God’s reality, His gift to you is in His 
promise to you of a way to eternal life, but it is up to you to choose what 
that life will be.  As for man’s reality, I just pointed at a social 
contract by which men and women agree, to a great degree, on the value of 
things, so you can put aside part of your wealth of today for tomorrow.

Student:  But what if one is unable to do that?  In my life I only earn so 
much, I can only work so much, so I’m not able to accumulate any wealth for 
tomorrow.  So I don’t know how I’m going to live tomorrow.  That’s where I 
depend upon the universe—to lead me to situations and experiences.

NEBADONIA:  Now, My son, you are face to face with the need to create, and 
how much of your life is in your own hands, as well as the universe’s.  The 
universe will provide you with a setting, both in this life and all the 
phases of your eternal life to come, but what you do with this is so much a 
part of your free will.  More immediately, what your old age will be like is 
dependant on how you spend your time today.  This too is a balance between 
physical, and mental, and spiritual dimensions. You are a physical/material 
being with a need for food and shelter and other physical things.  Yet the 
accumulation of material wealth is of little importance if your health fails 
because of it.

Student:  But what of Jesus’ promise of: seek first the kingdom of heaven 
and all else will come to you?  I mean, seek God within yourself.  Seek love 
and life, and eternal life, and everything else will come to me.  Love God 
with all your heart and soul and spirit.  Isn’t that the most important 
thing?

(Your partnership with God)

NEBADONIA:  By all means.  But also, God gave you an intelligence with which 
to realize the kingdom, to be like God himself—a creative being, actually 
creating your own reality along with Him, in partnership with Him.  In your 
present situation, you need food, good nutrition to maintain yourself.  If 
you would not be a parasite on those around you, you must work in some way 
for the necessities of your life.  God gives you the ability of foresight to 
see that, as you realize, you cannot do certain activities indefinitely.  
You have to make provision for your old age if you would not be dependant on 
the largess of others.  These are the basic facts of human life that men and 
women have faced since the beginning.  This is the view of society as a kind 
of insurance policy that is not absolute.  Accidents still happen.  But it 
does call upon all your abilities and resources to solve these problems with 
your own creativity.

There is also a fine balance between being independent--somewhat, and being 
dependant upon others.  Unless you’re a completely self-sufficient hermit, 
both are necessary.  The social contract is itself evolving.  The world 
needs to evolve to a more advanced culture with ever greater honesty and 
respect for each individual‘s needs for the necessities of life.  This is 
that awesome responsibility--the ability to respond--that calls forth your 
own creative abilities, so you can have an equal partnership with your 
Father.

Student:  My first impression is that I’m scared.  (laughs)  I really know 
very little—I comprehend very little.  I just don’t want to think about 
money, about earning money.  I just want to live!—live my life.  And create, 
You know—beauty; and help others.

NEBADONIA:  This is well and good in itself, but you do have the fable of 
the grasshopper and the ant.

Student:  What about all these books on manifesting what you want, and all 
these stories of people manifesting money, and creating the lives they 
intend to?

NEBADONIA:  Aren’t all these just offers of advise, sometimes stories on how 
different individuals did it for themselves, and want to share that with 
you?

Student:  I feel like I’m putting the cart before the horse.

NEBADONIA:  My son, this is also another facet of maturity.  A kind of human 
instinctual wisdom gathered over the years tells the young to go out and 
just live, for they don’t know if they will have a future, a full life.  
Ironically, if you get carried away in this, you won’t have an old age.  But 
after a certain point you think you might make it, you might have an old age 
to look forward to, so some provision must be made.  In a lot of societies 
you do have your governments collecting wealth to provide a social security, 
retirement plans, and so forth.  This does occupy a great deal of peoples’ 
creativity, and because of this, old age is transforming enormously from 
what it has always been.  People are not only living longer, but as possible 
health increases, as physical and mental abilities are extended, what is 
possible for you today would have seemed miraculous only a few generations 
ago.  Now you have that irony I mentioned earlier, that so much of your ill 
health and physical suffering is due to what you call life-style choices.

We see the present age as an enormous blossoming of individual freedom, 
compared to previous ages where plagues of diseases swept through whole 
populations; when natural law was so little understood.  We ask you to keep 
that in mind and rejoice in your freedom to choose good health.  Rejoice 
that God has put so much of your life in your own hands, and given you the 
ability to reason out what follows what; the foresight to see what will come 
after awhile.  Plans always have to be provisional due to the very 
uncertainty of human life, but this is not to say there is no use for them.  
This is part of the adventure.  You have My Adjutants of Knowledge and 
Wisdom to help you make the choices.

Remember that Michael and I are the first to agree with you that it is 
somewhat scary.  We encourage you to cultivate faith in you own abilities, 
your own adaptability.  Use the God-given talents you have.

Student:  I plan to.

NEBADONIA:  Good!

Student:  I really don’t think I have a choice, really--when I get down to 
it.

NEBADONIA:  Here I disagree, My son.  You do have a choice.  What I’m saying 
is, the choice is yours.  It is put in your hands.  The universe is so 
constructed as to respond to you, but the choice is yours.  You can choose 
not to choose, not to make decisions.  You can choose to, as you said, kick 
back and just coast along, ignore the future, let it take care of itself.  
Forget that it will inevitably arrive.  Take your chances with whatever 
comes.  This is a choice, and many make it by default.  But then they feel 
they are the mere pawns of circumstance—rightfully so.  That is not 
generally a comfortable situation to be in.

Student:  What I meant was, if I choose life, and choose to live my life, my 
soul, then the choice is more obvious—than just kicking back.  Thank You.

NEBADONIA:  You are very welcome.  Yes—I meant it more in the narrow sense 
that we were talking about—making provision for your older age, that scary 
aspect of simply growing old.

Student:  Some people think we don’t have to necessarily grow old…  But 
that’s for another time.

NEBADONIA:  Yes.  We can trust another time will come.  We did cover a bit 
of ground tonight.

Student:  I hope the people who read this will appreciate it.

NEBADONIA:  That’s their choice, is it not?  (True)  Michael and I do grant 
that you are a very complex kind of being.  And so We tease you into 
appreciating this very complexity, (laughter) and assure you that many, more 
purely-spiritual Beings come close to what you would think of as envy, that 
you have such choices to make.  They are aware of the irony that for many of 
you, (here Mother laughed again) you consider this somewhat a curse.  But 
this is the partnership our Father offers all personal beings; the essence 
of what personality means.  Your very uniqueness can be somewhat scary, 
because no one else has ever lived your life exactly, before.  All the best 
advise from your fellow human beings, or even Michael and I, requires you to 
decide what you will use, or not.

(Freedom is not forced upon you)

So I must caution: your freedom is not forced upon you.  You can literally 
choose not to choose, by default, but in doing so you are thwarting God’s 
intention—that you become like Him, and you generally experience this as 
suffering.  Suffering has as its main purpose to alert you and let you know: 
that whatever the cost you may feel is required for your freedom--whether 
consternation, or worry, or more positively, thought and reason—whatever is 
required to make your freewill decisions, is worth it.  That is the 
spiritual truth that forms your soul.  For in choosing not to choose, you 
are choosing to not experience all you are capable of.  As an experiential 
being, you are wasting time.  But conversely, this is also the assurance 
that you have free will.  You can choose to experience.  You can grow your 
soul as an eternal possession.  You can rejoice in a simple slice of bread 
and a piece of cheese, and know a moment of perfection in the music as you 
drive along, your daughter or son in your arms.   That too is real.  Be in 
My love, My dear son.  Good evening.


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