[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 9.25.06

[JERRY LANE]

Nebadonia—September 25, 2006

Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.

NEBADONIA—T/R-JL

(Being Mother Spirit)
(Personal and impersonal reality)
(Eternal life)
(Human personality is endowed with spirit)
(What is included—or not—in the Urantia book)
(Eliminating addictions)
(To feel yourself a living creature)
(Character)
(Your experience of life is your fundamental purpose)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    Once again we gather together to share in 
welcoming Your presence and Your precious words for us.  Tonight our prayer 
is for those who cannot feel Your presence and know Your company as we have 
come to.  We ask You to help them sensitize their hearts and open their 
minds so that they can feel and know You, and realize just how much a part 
of their lives You have always been--however they conceive of You and our 
Universal Father.  Amen.

NEBADONIA:  Good evening, My sons, this is your mother, Nebadonia.  I long 
to say that I too am your sister, much as Michael is your brother, even 
though I have not had a real, physical human life.  But I have been so 
intimate with the lives of all My children for so long now, I feel very much 
your sister, and I would certainly like it if you would consider Me so.

(Being Mother Spirit)

This ability of Mine to share our lives is My mother’s greatest glory.  Just 
as My Adjutants of Mind/Spirit help augment your own spiritual abilities to 
know a progressing life, so too your lives augment Mine.  You give Me 
purpose, and I would like to share with you something of what it is to be 
such a mother.

I experience with you not only your human lives, but then we both enjoy your 
growing ability to contact and experience Me as you progress through all the 
Morontia phases of your next life to come.  This is one of the great 
surprises and joys you experience upon awaking with a Morontia form.  And 
this ability does continue to grow as your experience of Morontia life 
becomes evermore subtle, evermore vast across all the enlarging dimensions 
of matter/energy, and mind, and spirit.

Then you graduate from Salvington, and off you go into the galaxy.  But 
still We continue to keep in touch with each other.  I am constantly 
receiving what is analogous to postcards from My children who go forth to 
ever greater, more expansive adventures.   Even after graduating from Uversa 
and leaving the headquarters of our Superuniverse, bound beyond time and 
space for Havona, still we keep track of each other, still these greater 
experiences of more and more dimensions of reality you encounter are Mine 
too, to enjoy.

Can you imagine, My children, what a joyous reunion it is when you return to 
Michael and I to pay Us a visit as a complete, full-fledged spirit being, a 
fully existential being, a member of the Corps of the Finality?  What a 
homecoming when you thread your way back out from the Center of all things, 
back to your humble, little Local Universe out here on the fringes of our 
Superuniverse, and once again we stand face to face.  This is your destiny 
and yet, you will still be, as Michael and I are, just beginning.  There is 
enough in the contemplation of eternity to satisfy the even the most 
anxious, impatient soul.

(Personal and impersonal reality)

But now we are here, back in this earthy room where I can enjoy with you 
this complex life you know for indeed, it is part of My purpose, part of My 
ability to help you connect the seemingly disparate elements of your human 
life.  What a great polarization it seems, the division of reality between 
impersonal matter and energy, and spirit-endowed personalities.  Yet they 
both have the same Author, do they not, and immediately upon--I should 
preface this by saying, in the beginningless eternity-event, as a concession 
to your language--immediately upon the division of reality into personal and 
impersonal aspects--the Eternal Son, the first derived personality, and 
Paradise, the impersonal pattern for all coming existence--the relationship 
between Them was also instantaneously personified as the Infinite Spirit, 
providing the same analogous connection I help provide for you.  Spirit/Mind 
is many hundreds of dimensions, My children, that you will spend some time, 
both here in time-and-space, and then later in the Havona central universe, 
encountering and making your own.  But right now your own personal mind’s 
main function is to connect you with these marvelous physical bodies you 
have.

I made a statement several weeks ago, and I’ve since come to feel and 
realize there is some question as to My meaning.  I said you do not always 
appreciate the marvel of these bodies you have until you no longer have 
them, albeit they are replaced by something even finer, something that 
extends all your senses in contacting reality.  What I meant by this was 
mainly in terms of your physical health, because this is a natural endowment 
that you often unintentionally or mistakenly abuse, and do not realize the 
full value of until it is either threatened or gone.

I re-empathize this because in your present human situation, your mind and 
your body are inextricably tied together.  True enough, your spirit does 
have its own senses and knowing, somewhat independent of your mind/body, and 
can know other spirit directly.  But for all practical purposes these 
moments of spiritual contact and realization are greatly facilitated by your 
ability to relax your mind of other distractions, which is in turn dependent 
on a strong and healthy physical body to achieve a kind of biochemical 
peace, free of pain and anxiety.

Here’s where Michael and I ask you to--from the position of your spiritual 
personality--love and respect your somewhat fragile life-vehicle that does, 
in your present situation, put you in contact with the physical universe and 
your fellow human beings.  You rely upon your bodies for consciousness 
itself, which you have to suspend on a daily basis for rest and 
regeneration.  And even though your physical bodies are surrounded by space 
and finite in that sense, always remember that they are infinite into the 
infinitesimal in their inner workings--to you.  You have a rather cynical 
saying that nothing is free, and indeed, Michael and I have reassured you 
that the price you pay for your experiences is a blessing, for it makes your 
soul truly something you have earned, and all your own for eternity.

Yet on the other hand, My children, consider that your whole life is--in 
total--a pure gift.  You did not have any kind of previous existence wherein 
you requested the life you are living.  So in this sense, it’s all free.  
It’s put in your hands to do with what you want, with the stipulation, of 
course, that any final results will always include God’s will, God’s 
physical and mental and spiritual laws without which there would be no 
reality to sustain us.  So love and treasure these priceless bodies you 
have, My children, even though you can be assured that you will exchange 
them for something even finer someday.

For it is ever true that you can only love and respect these others about 
you, your fellow human beings, to the degree you can initiate this devotion, 
this respect within yourself.  What a marvel you are.  It’s somewhat ironic 
that you can even doubt yourself, your own existence, free to do this to the 
point of despair.  But nevertheless, there is God’s confidence in your 
freedom, and in His own handiwork in creating you this way.  As Michael said 
last week, when you consider your independence from Him, even to the point 
of taking yourself out of continuing existence, you are face to face with 
your own freedom and your own responsibility to yourself.

(Eternal life)

The simple, transcendent fact is: eternal life is forced on no one.  It is 
something you have to choose, and the nature of that choice is always now.  
You have to choose to be strong and healthy.  You have to choose to grow.  
You have to choose the adventure laid before you.

You can always call upon Michael and I, in your deep stillness wherein we 
embrace and hold each other, to help you realize and make these choices.  
This is the commitment Michael spoke of that needs to be made again and 
again, and yet, gloriously, can be made again and again.  And so we thank 
you, Father, for these means by which we grow our eternal souls.  And we do 
humbly confess, we can’t think of any finer, better, other way.  We thank 
You for Your gift of life.

If you have any comments or questions this evening, are they not coming from 
your own living curiosity?

Student:  Mother, is the question about… What is the spirit You’re talking 
about--our spirit--the indwelling Father Fragment, or another spirit, or 
another form of spirit?

(Human personality is endowed with spirit)

NEBADONIA:  Yes, My son.  This evening I was talking about your own personal 
spirit, the fact that your personality is endowed with spirit .  You have 
your own spirit nature, power, and abilities.  We say this is your creative 
spirit for this is that part of you that is somewhat outside of time and 
space, and not bound by pure cause and effect, such as is the physical body 
you have.

Your physical body is in time and space and obeys its absolute, God-created 
physical laws.  Your mind, aided by My Adjutants since you were a tiny baby, 
is what serves to connect your personality, your fundamental reality, with 
your physical body.  In your present situation, your mind, by way of your 
physical senses, enables you to experience both the impersonal stuff all 
around you, as well as the outward manifestation of your fellows.

Your personality is what perceives and makes real—realizes--what gives value 
to your life.  Being spirit-endowed, you are capable of contacting Michael 
and I, and your Thought Adjuster, your Father Fragment, directly. This is 
that part of you that will merge, literally fuse and become one with your 
Father Fragment, either in this first physical life, thereby terminating it, 
or more commonly on the Mansion Worlds to come.

So you are a man of many parts… (group laughs) and your spirit-endowed 
personality unites them.  This is, if you will, the function of personality. 
  Does that answer your question?

Student:  Yes, and it brings up a host of other questions too.  If we had a 
lot of time I could ask them all.  This spirit is not the soul, it’s not the 
mind.  It’s something entirely different--not necessarily separate from, but 
different from.

NEBADONIA:  Yes.  It’s an intrinsic part of your personality.  It’s why you 
are considered to be a member of the Deity Absolute, with all other personal 
beings.  There is no spirit apart from person-hood; there is no impersonal 
spirit.  For here we are looking at the fundamental division of reality 
itself into personal and impersonal manifestation.  Personality comes 
directly from God and is endowed with creative spirit, whereas physical 
reality obeys very strict laws of antecedent causality--every effect has a 
previous cause.

This spiritual power of your personality can create something new, without 
total antecedents.  You, My son, are a spiritual being, and you can most 
readily distinguish this part of your life as--value.  Value 
recognition/creation is a function of your spirit, the same as meaning or 
relationship is largely a function of your mind, and your physical 
perceptions are largely a function of your physical body.  Your spirit is 
very distinct from the Father Fragment that indwells your mind as a kind of 
closely allied Presence.

So your Father Fragment is quite distinct from your personality.  Since it 
is only the co-author of your soul, being a detached, pre-personal fragment 
of God, it depends upon your personality—you--to achieve person-hood.  We 
consider this quite a wonderful trade, exchange, mutual gift--each to the 
other.  You give it personality, and it gives you eternal life—an immortal 
soul.  Does this clarify these many pieces?

Student:  It does give me a clearer view, and indeed it is a wonderful 
gift--being one with the Father Fragment at some time in the future.  It’s 
almost unbelievable that something like that would be possible.  Thank You, 
Mother.

NEBADONIA:  This is why Michael refers to your soul as being a steel cable 
tying together all your earthly experiences, for it is a spiritual creation 
outside time and space as you know them now.  So rest in My love.

Student:  Thanks again, Mother.

Student:  Greetings, Mother--my sister. I hadn’t thought of You that way 
before, although I have considered the possibility, because we all are 
brothers and sisters of the one Father.

Tonight I would like to talk to You about unrevealed orders of beings that 
we are now coming to know.  Why weren’t some of these orders mentioned in 
the Urantia book?  The first one I want to talk to You about, that has come 
to my attention, is this Order of Seraphic Assistants that I have been given 
to help heal my physical health.  Is it true that this order of being was 
not revealed in the Urantia book because, as I’ve been told, possibly too 
many would look to their physical healing before they would look to their 
spiritual healing?

I also want to ask You about the order of beings known as Planetary 
Supremes, who have not been mentioned in the Urantia book either.  It seems 
such an important link in our understanding of the universe.  The Planetary 
Supreme—Urantia by name--why wasn’t She mentioned in the Urantia book?  
Those are my questions this evening.

(What is included—or not—in the Urantia book)

NEBADONIA:  My son, I treasure your questions and do consider them with 
great respect, but you must understand how ironically humorous it is to 
Michael and I to hear someone ask why the Urantia book is not even more 
complex and comprehensive than it is.  (group chuckles) I’m sure you are 
aware that it represents for most of those who come across it, a kind of 
supreme intellectual Everest to climb, especially the first time through.  
Those who have gone on to read it many times keep enjoying the surprise of 
encountering things they could swear they had never read before, it is that 
experientially enormous.  So this is the most direct answer to your 
question.

The Urantia book, for as complex and comprehensive as it is to most everyone 
who endeavors to understand it, is to even one of the lowest, most novice 
Seraphim, somewhat like asking you to put all your knowledge on a single 
page of paper, to present to some order of being desperately in need of your 
offering.  Decisions had to be made as to what to include, and the very 
complexity and comprehensiveness of the book was designed so it would be its 
own proof, so anyone who began to understand what was contained within those 
blue covers could rest assured it was beyond the ability of mankind itself 
to write.  It is only those who have given it the most superficial glance 
who consider it some kind of practical, man-made hoax, put together by a few 
bored but clever college professors one summer.

The individualization of the Supreme Being into Planetary Supremes--if you 
will, the Soul of Urantia--was not considered necessary to include.  It is 
implicit in everything you learn about the Supreme Being.  Keep in mind the 
Supreme is simply the growing, developing time/space person-hood of God the 
Father.  In a way the Supreme is the growing memory, the perfect memory of 
God, of His creation—personified, evolving as a personal Being.

As for the help you are receiving from the spiritual community, with respect 
to your health; this fits right in with My message this evening.  There is 
never so great a need for you to open your heart and summon the courage to 
dare to feel the full uncertainty of your human condition, for it is the 
purpose of your bad/unhealthy habits to hide or mask this intrinsic 
uncertainty of being a living creature.  It takes great nerve to turn about 
and welcome a moment to moment sensitivity to your body and what it needs.  
When I say, let Me help you heal yourself, it is with your creativity of 
spirit--I talked about with C--wherein I can be the most use.  I can work 
with you to help you understand what is happening  to you.  I can help you 
develop a kind of tough resiliency that lets you admit to yourself what you 
need to do.  I can help you face the uncertainty that is involved in 
experimenting, to paraphrase one of your TV space-dramas--to boldly go where 
you have not been before.

Consider suspending certain habits, for you cannot know what that is until 
you actually do it.  So keep your spirit of adventure here.  Accept My 
lesson of this evening that so much is in your hands, to decide.  Be 
reassured, My son, that in realms of hearth, you can rely upon God’s 
physical laws.  For the reason your body is a living, biochemical organism 
that obeys physical laws, it is responsive: it will respond.  Does this help 
you understand what you need to do?

Student:  Yes, Mother, you have once again gone to the heart of the matter.  
I would simply ask—I do now—help me step by step find the courage to make 
those choices, to free myself from the unhealthy habits—what I consider 
addictions—pet evils, I still cling to.  Help me find the courage to be 
creative and go where I haven’t gone before.  I truly believe this is what 
my heart desires.

(Eliminating addictions)

NEBADONIA:  Well, My son, it takes a lot of humility, a lot of setting aside 
ego--in the sense of your own notions of who and what you are.  It is really 
scary facing all those seemingly empty stretches of time to fill, if you 
eliminate certain habits.  But take refuge in the fact you don’t know what 
that will be.  On the one hand, it can be scary; but on the other, trust it 
will be something different than what you envision, and are afraid of.  For 
this is how good health works.  There will be another you, you cannot 
anticipate from here.  You have to give this—you--a chance.  Just feel your 
way along, and accept the humility you may have to do this, sometimes, 
moment by moment.

But no spiritual effort is truly lost.  Moments spent free of some habit  
become the solid ground upon which to build.  Every day spent free is a 
triumph.  So keep in mind this new person you wish to give birth to.  Check 
in with Michael and Me as often as your heart desires, or needs.  Keep these 
ideals in mind, however much or little you can immediately accomplish them.  
It would help your humility to write in a journal, or on a calendar--some 
simple little acknowledgement in objective reality of how things are 
going—feedback to keep your ego down to earth.  Sometimes a simple token 
like this proves almost impossible to do, but that itself is significant, 
and tells you much about your sincerity; and if you can do it, the physical 
act allows you to focus on these ideals.  You have My love, My son, and 
Michael’s peace to help sustain you.

Again I’ll repeat: you cannot know this person until you become him, but you 
can imagine how much he will sincerely thank you for every tiny little 
effort you can muster.  Have some pity, have some heart--for him.  And feel 
yourself wrapped in My love.

Student:  Thank You, Mother.

Student:  Yes, Mother.  You talk about uncertainty, and I’ve been feeling at 
this moment a subtle anxiety and confusion, trying to grasp onto something 
to make sense of things.  I’ve always been a believer in keeping things 
simple—how I live my life, my philosophy, and there are times, like with the 
Urantia book, there are concepts I can’t understand.  It’s not that I don’t 
believe them, or deny them; I just don’t understand.  I’m not some great 
intellectual person, although I do question, and attempt to understand.  I 
do look at things from all angles, if possible.

One of the things I’m grappling with, is where the essential teachings of 
all great religions…the essence of them is that we are all innately 
compassionate, and good, and desire to be of service and benefit to the 
world.  All points of view—positive, negative, and neutral—are derived from 
this place of awareness—but which is itself illusionary, a dream state.  And 
so as I look at this, it’s like I experience that, and then rest naturally, 
allow that there is nothing to do.  This state of awareness is here, is 
already here, and there is nothing for us to grasp onto, but just to rest 
naturally, and to notice points of view that motivate us, that get in the 
way of being in the moment.

And so it’s like I’m trying to bring all this together, of what You and 
Michael say, and what I’ve read.  I guess I’m seeking some perspective on 
all this.  Because when I read some of the material this workshop presented 
to me, I was in tears, it seemed so true; it resonated within me.  A lot of 
what was being presented was what I wanted to hear.  My soul just hungrily 
ate it all up.  So in a sense I have no idea where I’m going!  (laughs)  I 
have no goals.  I don’t know!

Obviously there are things in my life—I’m not running away from anything.  
There’s work to do.  But I have no sense of my future.  All I have is now.  
But it doesn’t bother me that I don’t have any goals.  I guess my goal is to 
live my life as God intended me to.  When I think of my goals, what I would 
like, I find it’s ultimately my relationship to myself, and to my spirit—the 
expression of that—beyond all desire—ultimately.  I just don’t want to fool 
myself, or waste my time.
So there You have it.

(To feel yourself a living creature)

NEBADONIA:  Well, My son, this may come as a surprise… (OK…) but all I can 
say is: Amen to all of the above.  (Yes… {laughing anxiously})  This anxiety 
you feel is very analogous to the uncertainty I was talking about, that 
takes nerve to let yourself feel, because this is a desire to be 
self-honest, to be open within yourself, to be a democracy within.   There’s 
a lot of hurley-burley--coming and going, in a democracy.

To be an intellectual means, most fundamentally, to enjoy things of the 
mind.  We say your human type of mind is mostly concerned with 
relationships, with meaning.  One example would be: you say something and 
your friend asks what you mean by that, and you try to put that same 
essence, that same truth in another way.  This is what meaning means—these 
relationships.  You are now reaping some of the benefits of your years of 
reading, and studying, and being interested in mental things, now to the 
point where your spirit is beginning to recognize, beyond meaning, identical 
values between different systems of thought.  In other words, when you go to 
your workshop and find certain spiritual laws presented in a whole new 
language, you are gaining an ability to recognize in these new word 
combinations previously encountered truths that words can only point at.

(Character)

This is also the essence of that other possession of personality, a 
quasi-Morontia reality very similar to soul--what you call character, a 
recognizable and highly desirable quality that, like your soul, you earn 
through experience.  Very much like your spirit, character gives you a 
detachment or remove from immediate reality, an equanimity in the face of 
present challenges or fears.  As you put it, you are not blown about so much 
by present circumstances.  There is something persisting, and enduring, and 
growing.  In this sense there is no such thing as bad character, there is 
just a regrettable lack of it: someone has learned so little enduring truth 
from their experience.

Right now you are kind-of sloshing about a bit in some new-found freedom.  
(student chuckles agreement)  You’ve found ways of freeing yourself from 
past conditioning by being open-minded, and reading, and looking about.  And 
you are even accepting the nature of this uncertainty as something positive. 
  It is just your way of being open-minded, acknowledging there is so much 
you have yet to learn and understand.  And that’s a good place to be in, to 
be aware of this enormity.  You will recall, that’s Our definition of 
humility.  It helps keep you from being humiliated by pig-heatedly, 
head-strong running smack into solid objects, or ignored considerations.

I commend your realization that most worth-while goals are of a spiritual 
nature.  Indeed, even those physical and mental goals you may have derive 
their value from your spirit, and can be extraordinarily hollow and 
disillusioning when sought for themselves alone.  You can stand there with a 
lot of good stuff, and great ideas, and still feel hollow in spite of them.

So keep going.  Keep accepting this uncertainty as being in touch with your 
living reality.  So many folks are estranged from, and afraid of this 
feeling of being a living creature, they identify so thoroughly with fixed 
dogmas and lifeless formulas, rigid institutions, they even experience a bit 
of nausea when they are forced willy-nilly to feel themselves living.  They 
are so terrified of the whole half of reality that is constantly new, and 
cling so tenaciously to what they have already known, We’ve likened this to 
trying to drive backwards down the road looking in the rear-view mirror.  
This is what it means to be reactionary, to live your life only reacting, 
never quite coming up into the present moment where you can genuinely act 
and create.

So continue to clarify your understandings.  Keep reaching.  Keep feeling.

Student:  Yes.  One of the things that has come up in this workshop, was my 
idea—because she doesn’t talk about God, partly, mainly because it gets so 
misunderstood, the idea of God--but also how we turn these great leaders 
like Buddha, and Jesus, into mythical characters, and so we loose the true 
meaning of their lives--there was a part of me that was still holding on.  I 
wondered if I was letting go of Jesus, and my relationship with Him; and to 
You.  I felt really conflicted with that, like I was letting You down.  But 
then I thought to myself, because of a passage in The Course of Miracles, 
that nothing real can be truly threatened.  There is nothing to defend, if 
it’s really truth.  So that’s part of my conflict, but the thought helped a 
bit—that if there is some ideology, or point of view in me, if I have to 
hold onto it, have to defend it, then why am I doing that?  Why do I feel 
threatened?  So… Hmmm…

NEBADONIA:  You can understand that the myth-making of great leaders is just 
to get some distance from them, so you don’t feel the necessity to put their 
life into your own.  The Urantia book speaks about the followers of Jesus 
immediately creating a religion about Him, rather than seeking to teach His 
religion.  This is why Michael has mentioned how He had to suspend Himself 
as a Creator Son in order to have a real human life up to the time of His 
baptism and, in a sense, partly regaining Himself.  So this is a real 
challenge for everyone, to see Jesus, and Mohammed, and Buddha, fully as 
human, and get all the closer to their teachings.

Student:  Thank You very much.

NEBADONIA:  You’re welcome.  You are gaining an ability to recognize the 
spiritual essence of concepts across a broad spectrum of how each person, or 
each philosophical or theological system expresses them in its own, somewhat 
unique language.  This recognition is both spiritual and mental, a matter of 
heart, and mind, and soul-experience.  So carry on.  Enjoy your freedom.  Be 
mindful of what it has cost you to gain and maintain.  This is the 
function--if you will—of feeling that wise uncertainty in being a living 
creature.  And keep feeling for My love.

(Your experience of life is your fundamental purpose)

Well, My children, we have looked at some things, and some of you are facing 
a very full plate indeed--to ingest, and then, as Michael suggested, talk 
about with others, to help you digest and make your own.  You are 
experiential beings.  Your experience of life is your fundamental purpose 
now.  And so, be aware of anything that compromises this intrinsic need of 
your personality.  This is the essence, the badness of bad habits.  They 
short-circuit what is potentially new for you each moment.  Rest assured 
that when you give up the habit, the repetitious behavior, there will be 
something there to take its place.  It will more than take its place for you 
will be living a fuller experience of your unique life.  Take heart in this 
assurance, and be in My love.  Good evening.


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