Ham on wonder

[David G. Schlundt, Ph.D.]

1/26/97

Ham: Greetings, I am Ham and I want to thank you for coming tonight
for gathering to hear my weekly words.   Tonight I want to talk about
wonder.  You all have small periods when a sense of wonder is
recaptured in your lives.  Wonder is an emotion that humans long for.
Human beings want to hear tales of wonder, to see movies that inpsire
that sense of wonder. 

People want to feel that feeling of seeing something or hearing
something for the first time.  Beautiful things inspire that sense.
People want to be inspired to action.  They want to feel the sense of
wonder at belonging to something for the first time.  They want a
sense of connection between the artist or the movie or the song that
speaks to them individually and how wonderful that is.  

The world is full of wonder if you would learn to see with the eyes of
the spirit.  The eyes of the spirit reveal that the world is made from
love, that all the life, all the living and growing things, are a part
of the matrix of love.   There is love in the grass, there is love in
the spider and his web, there is love in the birds and their songs and
their beauty.  But most of all, there is the wonder of finding love in
each other, of looking into another's eyes and recognizing your
brother or you sister.  This is truly what people are made for.  This
is truly the enrichment and the reward of life.  There is nothing more
wonderful than this.  

You must go through life finding that sense of wonder. How much more
wonderful can something be than finding your enemy to be your brother
or your sister? Finding love is replacing anxiety or fear or worry
because you are never anxious or worried or afraid over anything other
than other human beings and when you love them they cannot really hurt
you. And if you love them long enough, eventually their fear will also
change and their anxiety and desire for gain at your expense will
disappear as well, and your enemy is then your brother or your sister.


Now there will be those who will not accept your love, who will never
acknowledge it, and will not accept it.  But you go a long way toward
removing your fear of them and therefore their ability to harm you by
loving them.  And you will find that either people will change and
come near you with love, or they will separate themselves from you if
they are not able to accept your love or to return it.  Eventually
over time, if you live always in love, giving love and showing love,
you will attract those to you who want to be loved and give love and
show love as well.  The others will not stay.

Be steadfast then and walk in the way of love, do not let fear intrude
on this pathway if you can help it. That is essentially the lesson for
this evening, are there any questions?

Q: If I had to define what it meant to love another person like you
were describing, I would have trouble, Is it an attitude, is it a way
of behaving, is it both and more? Could you elaborate?

Ham: Love is the realization that another person is your brother or
your sister. When you understand that basis of the relationship, then
you become instantly sympathetic with that person and able to
sympathize with their fears or with their anxiety, whatever it is that
animates them. It is realizing that the barriers that you all
consistently put between yourselves and others are not real.  

Q:  Becoming one with unification, Divinity. I have been belatedly
getting a realization of that lately. You can read about it and think
about if for years, and then you begin to realize it. That one thing,
becoming one. Between yourselves, that means a lot. They are me to, I
am a part of everything and everything is a part of me. Finally you
see how come it is so painful to the soul to have animosity toward
another.  

Ham: Very well said. It is painful and distressing to the soul because
it is unnatural and unreal.

Q: We are all connected.

Ham:  Correct.

Q: Invisible cords of love.

Q: I had an experience recently that illustrated this point. I had a
conversation with a man in Baltimore as I was waiting for a plane. It
was very friendly and natural and even though we did not know each
other and we were really different, I could feel love and brotherhood.
 You are right about the wonder of discovering a brother, even in
something simple like a conversation waiting for an airplane.

Yes, exactly.

Q: It seems to me that the barriers we put between us if fear. For me,
it is often my fear that creates a barrier between myself and other
people. It is hard to love them when I have this protective shield of
fear between us.

Ham: But it can be their fears too.

Q: The ego must come up with a reason to dislike and reject.

Ham: Yes, I would say most people are uncomfortable thinking of
themselves as connected with all others.

Q: I was trying to think this out. It is ourselves that we don't like.
when you make this connection at first. Here is somebody who is a part
of me, but I don't like them either. I am not sure it is that
conscious, it is almost on an animal, instinctual level. You know, I
must not admit that it is my fear, that is the last thing I want to
see. So I have to assign it to something else.  I am getting kind of
confused, it's us we don't like ....

Ham: A lot of fears are just part of the animal legacy in your genetic
make up and so you instinctively fear the different, those who are
different.  

Q: But why wouldn't it be the ones who are like you. That is who you
don't trust and don't like. 

Ham: Then you are getting into a  psychological situation. At first,
you are usually afraid of joining a new group, new social situations.

Q: But that is because of low self esteem.

Ham: No it is instinctive, an instinctive fear of those who are
different, of other groups.

Q: What you are saying is that as we learn to recognize all people as
our brothers and sisters, even those who are different, that we will
begin to transcend our instincts?

Ham: Yes.

Q: I am reminded of that passage in the Urantia book that says our
task is not to learn to love everyone all at once. but to learn to
love one person one day at a time.

Ham: Exactly.

Q: I've been thinking about this this week. I forget exactly what you
said that triggered it, but  I was thinking about getting up each
morning and facing each day with enthusiasm because there are so many
wonderful things to do. What you said puts it together, the real
wonderful thing to do is to interact with people and experience the
wonder of love.

Ham: Yes exactly.

Q: Is that how it is when we get past the first couple mansion worlds,
life is filled with enthusiasm and wonder instead of all of this
anxiety?

Ham: Yes, Fear is like a trap, and as you peal off the layers of it,
your freedom is greater and greater.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
David G. Schlundt, Ph.D.               (615)322-7800
Associate Professor of Psychology      (615)343-8449  Fax
Vanderbilt University               schlundg at ctrvax.vanderbilt.edu
301 Wilson Hall
Nashville, TN  37240
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Effort does not always produce joy, but there is no happiness without intelligent effort.
The Urantia Book
Paper-48 Section-7 Para-2        Page-556 Line-7 Para-2
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