LinEl group 1/15/98

[Thea Hardy]

January 15. 1998

Greetings children, it is I, Michael. (TR Delores) I come to you tonight as your brother/friend, so glad to be among you. I have watched your struggles and been with you, and you each know that I love you dearly. You are indeed like the baby rats. You have not been in touch with my teachers much that I have sent you, and they hover around you watching you grow daily as you skitter here and there in your lives, poking in things, running away, hiding, reaching out again. You are indeed, very, very dear to us. I want to talk to you tonight a little bit about how you run from yourselves.

I am pleased to see you trying the quiet time again. If you continue this you will find that it has benefit, and I do wish you to foster the fellowship between yourselves in any way possible. Sitting in stillness, alone together, is one way that will help. The focus of the self on the self is such a strange thing on your planet. Sitting still, sensing that your body has weight, that you live inside it. I was here among you, I know what it is like to stand and walk and move and live in a body. I know the gifts of creation from the eyes and the ears and the nose and the mouth. And how the life flows around in pattern and season and gift and loss and life and death. The more you mature the more valuable becomes your life, when you grow to appreciate what it is that you are. 

The pain of realization at something beautiful is part of life for those who are willing to look deep for the meaning and the value of the daily experience. In this way the gift of life is what you make it, what you bring to it.  And you know dear ones, that the deepest connecting root to help you in this is the stillness and the connection with the Father--your infinity thread. When you can bond more with your thought Adjuster, your daily moments will not be so hard to relinquish. I mean that in the ways of letting go, relaxing, being free. I know you are all struggling hard with balance in your days and structure and all of these things that you have come so far to see and to heal and to mend in your lives.

I just want to embrace you all with the fact that you are accomplishing what I have asked you to do. I am pleased. And I would ask that you turn a little inward and thank yourselves. You have to be tricky sometimes to get the joy where it belongs back into your heart, because the habit patterns of the world are not very receptive to enjoying your process and your life. But you deserve it. Know that I am pleased with you. Struggle to accept. You have been on the path for a time now. The sun is shining on you. The sky is clearing. You have friends beside you. My teachers are waiting for a little while farther down the road when wonderful and new explorations can be begun. That is what I have to tell you tonight. And know that I will be looking forward to visiting you more often in this way. I do not want to become a stranger. Thank you all for coming, for your dedication. I love you all. Good night for now. 

Greetings friends this is LinEl, (TR Mark)
We¹ve enjoyed this evening watching you stretch to articulate God. It is wonderful to watch the struggle to sort out the personal and the spiritual within you and to find the path of health straight ahead. But there is another realm that we all live in no matter how old we are and how many lives we¹ve led and that is finding sense of the stars, finding God between things. That¹s something more than just finding health, it¹s finding self meaning, purpose, and as you so well put, Delores, the silence between things. Silence between things gives the rhythm between all these lives meaning. You are all indeed, God looking through your eyes and it¹s one of the most spectacular journeys ahead of you. All of the wonders that lie ahead, the mansion worlds, the university worlds, Paradise itself, pale in comparison to the belonging that you begin to feel as God and you become one.
 
Delores: Little tiny glimmers. Wishes...

LinEl: On all the evolutionary worlds there is one thing that all creatures have in common and that is, even at this level, an awareness of the Father and for those of you, us, fortunate to have adjusters, there is that gift which has a different tone to it.
We are so encouraged by the work that you are beginning to do here. Your discussion last week, your attempts to refocus yourselves, to take control of your healing, we applaud the effort. And we look forward to giving you the lessons that will come from this focus that you bring to this meeting. We can offer you so much more when you look ahead, force your mind into the small cracks ( heh hehs, laughs) We can offer you so much more then. You all give us the structure on which we can hang our lessons. We can not give you anything that you do not already have or grasp or understand . IT does us no good to describe the color blue to a blind man. But the steps you are taking will allow us to do much and we are excited by it. 

Delores: I just want to say: Like what? (laughter)

LinEl: You will not be disappointed. We are encouraged that you are turning your eyes back towards the Father.
 
Thea: About time...

LinEl: Everything has its purpose. You are more disappointed than we. It¹s in your nature. It¹s in your...station. I have often said that I wish I could lend you just a portion of my perspective. You would be so much more forgiving of yourselves.  Patient with yourselves. Loving of yourselves. You have a hard life here. And I see in each one of you who you will become and it makes me ...it makes me weep...because I know you want it so much and if  I can just give you a portion ...a portion... of what you would have been if this planet had been as it should and just a portion of what you will become  when you leave this place, I will have my reward beyond measure.
 
Delores: So, that¹s part of the pain you speak of. The contrast.

LinEl: Yes. Parenting can often happen in moments, not just relationships, but in moments. And it¹s my privilege to help parent you.  Do you have any questions this evening?

Thea: I always have questions, but I would like to wait and not be first to ask.

Jewels: I keep thinking I have a question but I don't know what it is.

Delores: remember the last couple times we were getting angry at the way it...the way it fell out...at the rebellion and the planet falling and the "how can God let that happen!", the starving children and all the horrible stuff that¹s so difficult to explain to somebody who just writes God off because of it. I¹m trying to figure out how does codependency play into that anger thing? Do you have to get mad before you can get not codependent? You want to rescue the world!

LinEl: Yes. Yes. You ask a complex question because there are so many threads that lead to that ball of twine. It is important that you express your anger. Express your anger to the Father. Even if it is inappropriate, Even if it is misdirected, sending it to the Father is a sure way to have it grow and become directed to the appropriate place. Communication with the Father is like a reality flashlight. Simply dumping as much as you can to the Father, into that relationship, will, by the nature of the communication illuminate the reality of those feelings. The sorting process will begin in those prayers, so to speak. The Father hears what you need whether you can articulate the words or not and screaming and yelling and being angry at him says much about your need.

Delores: Yeah. My son said "If this world is an example of God, then I want a new God."

LinEl: Your comment on codependency: You are all right when you say "giving yourself away". It is what I spoke of last week when I mentioned the habit of not trying to have a self. This world turning away from itself. As you spoke of , Thea, standing and saying " I am God with you, God." is not something creatures on this planet can do. You were taught that you are not god, that god is a lie. That is a scam, and to not trust the parent, where does the child turn? It turns in on itself and starts consuming. Finding fault. Finding places to hide. Destroying soft spots yet undeveloped. Children need their parents. Children need to trust the love of that relationship. Children need simply to be able to trust without evaluation and that trust was taken away from this planet, was taken away from the children that you are on this planet. An unspeakable crime. Larger than you can ever imagine. You begin to glimpse just a small portion of what was done to you. You are so "in the crime"  and so much a victim of it, that torment has become natural to you. 

When we comment that we are amazed that you can find the courage to stand up, that you can find the courage to laugh, that you can find the courage to have - ( sigh sound from LinEl) have joy at all...when we say that, we say it from a position of seeing the true depth of the horror. When you let yourself look at this world with open eyes and it seems so horrific and so out of control and so hopeless that you turn your head away and just try to ... step it down... to focus on a smaller portion because it is an unmanageable chunk to think about, you are just seeing a fraction. Rediscovering yourselves is probably the most important thing you can do for the God within you and the God within your friends and compatriots. Recovering yourselves. Even believing a little bit, just a little bit, that the universe is incomplete without you. That you illuminate a piece of reality that would be dark otherwise. That you represent a piece of God that everything in creation yearns to know and only you are the piece of that.

Hughsie : I¹m finding it hard to believe and I want to go to sleep when I hear what you¹re saying.

LinEl; You all turn away from that. Even the most basic of Christian beliefs makes the statement that you are unique and God has created you and no one can take your place. And even in that simple, most basic realization, even those believers shy away from that. It is easier to believe in your unworthiness and your struggle, your quest to attain acceptance and forgiveness.

Thea: Yeah, God made everything. He made sunsets and He made mud and I am mud. (laughter)  We know better but...? LinEl, what are some of the best things we can do to help each other love ourselves?

LinEl:  Your comment earlier that self care be something you can even fake and it is good for you. There is not much in reality that you can still fake and call it reality or somehow hope to transition that self- deception into reality. But taking care of yourselves. loving yourselves in any small way, is so critical to you... those  child...those children within you, their sense of peace and well being.  Being a good parent to yourself, it seems like a drop in the ocean with what all you have to fight against but, believe me, every one of those drops is potent. Potent. It is not a one-to-one ratio.

Thea: But how can we best help each other?

LinEl: By taking care of yourselves. If you can love yourselves better, you have more honesty, love, trust, giving, for each other. For you are poverty-stricken when you have deprived yourselves of the gifts that only you can give yourself ,such as your relationship with the Father, the gift only you can give yourself. When you deprive yourself of these simple gifts, these simple necessities, you deprive each other of everything that you can be for one another.

Thea: But in any given moment when we¹re with a friend and we have done as much as we can for that moment, what can we bring to that moment. Obviously we can bring what we¹ve done, but there we are...in that moment and we¹ve brought to it what we can, what... in other words, what¹s NOT codependent? What actions? What attitude is ...um...I guess I¹m trying to see that "line"? (in earlier discussions the fine line between helping and harming.)

LinEl: You can always bring attitudes of willingness and openness, but when you are all starved, when you¹re depriving yourself of a spiritual relationship with the father and all that that feeds you, you do not have much to bring. 

Thea: I understand that but we have to interact in the interim. I can¹t not talk to my friends until I have it all together. 

LinEl: Five minutes with the Father will not constitute having it all together, but will offer so much more to yourself , so much more to your friends and so much more that they can give to you.

Thea: (Being frustrated and persistent) I understand that. But say I¹ve done my quiet time for the day, my friend has done their five minutes for the day...what are some of the things that we can hang on to, to try to understand how better to relate without codependency? ( long pause) LinEl, am I asking you through the wrong transmitter?

LinEl: There is some difficulty there.

Thea. Sorry, I didn¹t mean to make it difficult.

LinEl: But I find it interesting that...one moment...I think you will find a that if your friend has done their quiet time and you have done your quiet time and you come together as friends then the necessity for structure, rules, technique, becomes less of an issue. 

Thea: So, if your friends don¹t do their quiet time and you do, there is nothing you can do.

LinEl: There is an emotional and spiritual deprivation that technique will only patch and you will know...you will know... the absence of presence there.

Thea: Yeah, I have seen trouble with that.

LinEl; Yes. Being true to your...each of your spiritual...   sitting with the Father is the best gift you can give each other. This seems like a little thing. We have spoken to all of you over and over and over again about this. There is so much potent reality in those few moments spent with the Father every day that your lives will be transformed. This is not an exaggeration. I am not using the word transformed to make a point. it is simply the truth.
 
Thea: I understand that.

Delores: If you fake it long enough it will happen? (laughter)

Jewels: No, you still have to show up.

LinEl: Yes .You still have to show up.  You have all done so much better together when you were in better touch.

Hughsie: With each other or ourselves or is that the same thing?

LinEl: Better touch with the Father. And yes. You were doing better with each other.
 
Delores: So, that is one of the things we have to share with each other is.... our spiritual experience?

LinEl: Not...Yes. Sharing your spiritual experiences will help, but nothing replaces that spiritual substance...the life...the light.. the lessening of fear  within you that contact with the Father nurtures. Combined with the recovery, the intellectual understandings, the knowledge, the wisdom that you have gained all this time, combined with all those things you will be transformed.

Jewels: It sounds so easy and it sounds like each one... like there is a guarantee that it is wonderful.

LinEl: It is simple, but it is not easy.

Jewels: Yeah. and the guarantee is there that each one of us in this room will go home and do a quiet time.

LinEl: There is a guarantee that if you do it, you will be more...yourself.

Thea; Which is why we don¹t do it.

LinEl: Yes. Averting self. And yes, that is a guarantee. 

Thea: So it¹s time to just do it.

LinEl: Yes. I see the holes in all of your hearts in here.  And they can be so easily filled. There is so much love around you being poured into you and every moment there is not a time when the Father is not loving you. There is not a time that His hand is not always there. And it is rare, I know, for your little clenched hands to let go of all that is wrong. 
(Bang Bang noise of the rat on the glass cage wall and laughter)

Delores; Loud enough for you LinEl?

LinEl: You can all take some clues from these little animals. They run over and investigate, They run back. They run over and check it out again. They run and hide. But their curiosity and their need to know keeps them coming back. You are all like this. You all come to these meetings when they are not working for you, when it is inconvenient, when it is painful, because you need to know. You believe that this holds promise. And you will not be sorry.

Pause

Greetings this is Serenia (Thea)
 
I would like to say a few words to Thea¹s question. There are a few things, just a few, to keep in mind and there is no question but what LinEl is saying is the absolute foundation of all of this. If you are unwilling to do your quiet times then you are also unwilling to give to your brothers what they need. The most important reason to do this is for yourselves, but sometimes other motivations are of use. 

But aside from this remember also to look into one another¹s eyes. I know how hard this is  but look for God. Look for God in the eyes of your brothers and sisters and show God through your eyes. You will find this perhaps unbearable at first  but it is at least something to keep in mind for eventually this will become a joy the equivalent of which exists, from what we can tell, eternally.  For in those moments, those stars of which you have spoken do connect all and this is the weaving of the Supreme. 

Other important things are to try to be honest with one another. You cannot be so honest everywhere in the world, but here is a place, here are people with whom you can practice this. You will fail. Learn to laugh together at your failures. Try  to be forthright and at the same time, patient. And if these seem conflicting, in ways they are. But this line that you seek knowledge of, can only be found by yourselves in discovery. We cannot tell you. We can not answer this question in a precise way. We can only point you toward the activities and the actions you can take and then (you can) examine. So, work for yourselves those lines between one another for they will not be the same between any two of you, or three of you, or any group, or any aggregation. Become sensitive to the feeling. Help each other in this process by expressing what you truly do think and feel. You will start to learn the shapes of one another and it will be easier to grow those intersections between you. 

But remember that all growth is dependent upon that connection with the Father. Without it, as LinEl said, you are starving. Starving! And with it, you will have the power of self to say no when you must, to not say yes when you shouldn¹t. It is the healing of what you call codependency. Thank you ,brother for allowing my intrusion.

Delores: I have one question, Serenia? I had the one thing flash across my mind that if we are...allow ourselves to be...for our brothers...er...that means I have to be "it "for people?

Serenia: No. You have to be you.  And being you for you is what gives them the "it" that is acceptable for them to ask for. All that is ever acceptable that another ask of you is that you be you! 

Delores: Then I can say no to the "It" thing. 

(Note: The "it" thing is when a person is asking you to be "it", to be too much, to be a parent, authority figure, almost God for them and to do their thinking for them, problem solving, etc.)

Serenia: You can say no to the "it' thing. But, you must say yes to being your own "it" with the Father (laughter) For the Father, dear ones, is IT to all of you, ever tireless, ever energetic. And in this way when you are truly your own self, the it-ness that you provide is of Him, through Him...

Delores: Tag! We¹re all it!

Serenia:...It will be effortless.

Jewels : You know, I¹m willing to do a lot of different things with this new dynamic with our group and everything and it just finally hit that the quiet time is something I don¹t want to do. And (laughter)...Oh, no...that¹s not a secret...

Serenia: Dear one, you are not alone in this.

Jewels: It¹s like the thing you don¹t want to talk about when we do our sharing time...that one thing you don¹t want to share, this is the equivalent of the one thing I don¹t want to do. And it¹s like, why is that? It¹s so hard! To me it¹s hard!

Serenia: You do not hear in this room endless discussion about how horrible the quiet times are and how much people do not do them. You hear mumbles and rumbles but the truth is, this is a problem for all of you. In the earlier days, you did not know what was in store. Part of the difficulty is the very success of this venture happened to you to a certain extent before you understood the trouble and so you ran because the sense of self was so strong and unfamiliar that you could not bear it and you did not yet have the tools. This is why I say to you, you have not failed. You have been busily acquiring the tools and now you are at a point where you can begin to do your quiet times (more fully) again. Draw on the strength of being who you are, notice more clearly the fears, discuss them together and find ways to persist in drawing on the strength of who you are. You could not do this before. You are now equipped. Perhaps not as well as you would like to be, but equipped enough. You will not any of you become instant perfect Quiet Timers, but you will improve. We are so proud of you. You think still so much of your failures but we are so proud of you. What have done is astonishing!

Delores: Like what, for instance (laughter)

Serenia: Like almost everything in the past five years. But let us take the past few weeks.  You are trying, after a very difficult, rather long term stage of recognizing problems without dealing with them, and this is not surprising. You have become willing again, one more time, where others would stop. Become willing to move forward, trying to solve your problems without relying upon us to give you all the answers. This group is unusually treated. We are perhaps one of the most demanding teacher groups in the mission in terms of requiring that you, on your own, achieve certain things before we will give you certain kinds of answers. This is deliberate, for several reasons. Not only because of your personal characteristics but because this mission is about experimenting in exactly the same way that you are trying to experiment with your own group. Therefore, you, in miniature are doing what we are doing large, for the entire teaching mission is still very new and there are many things that we do not yet know...how they will work in your world. You are helping us. You are our researchers.

Delores: Guinea pigs.

Serenia: Guinea pigs would imply that we re doing it to you...but no. 

Mark: We¹re doing it to ourselves! (group laughter)

Serenia: You are doing it to yourselves.

Hughsie: We¹re participating.

Serenia: And in the process, you are creating a tremendously better support web for the being of who you are. Your member who is absent tonight is doing what is necessary for her to be part of this group. You all must take the same degree of willingness to figure out your wants and needs. And as long as you persist in the upward path there is no one way to do these things. Nor is there a one of you who has identical needs. You are doing spectacularly well.

Delores: Thank you 

 Serenia: I remember when I first came to this planet, which was as most of you know late in the mission as compared to my brother LinEl and some others, and when Thea first requested a personal teacher separate from LinEl, and LinEl asked me if I would like to attempt the contact, I did not know then what this experience would be. But I must tell you , that day was the beginning of the most thrilling adventure I have yet had in the universe.

Delores: And how old are you? 

Serenia :A lady never reveals her age. (laughter. Good one, Serenia!) Older than you! I am not as old as some of the teachers. I am not as young as the youngest, but relatively young and this is why I consider this such a thrilling privilege. You have all taught me the equivalent of university worlds of education, and although I was a parent, a mother, on my own world, you have taught me much more about parenting...for teaching and parenting, are the same thing , you have separate words for these, but truly, they are the same. They are God reaching the hand down as the student/child is God (TA) reaching the hand up.

I will take my leave but I will return and if I can persuade some, perhaps again, even in song. Farewell for this evening but remember, those stars surround you, they fill you, they sparkle from your eyes. They sparkle from your fingertips as you give of yourself  from your creative abilities. They sparkle from every aspect of you and the more that you are you, the more they sparkle. Add to the stars. Be stars together. We love to watch you glow.
Good Night.

Greetings, this is LinEl (Mark). Two teachers can always answer a question better. Keep in mind that six teachers could completely answer, thoroughly. (laughter hoots and giggles, also a chuckle from LinEl)  Just a gentle reminder... (gentle pressure to encourage more to transmit)

Thea: ...of an old agenda!.

LinEl. Do your quiet times, friends. Rest in the Father's hand. You will be wise with the work ahead to take as much sustenance that the universe has to offer. You will not make it far with what you have planned ahead if you do not. Just another familiar pattern. I know you can do it. Think of reinventing that quiet time with the Father if necessary. We encouraged you at the beginning of the mission to find as many ways as possible,  spending your personal time with the Father in a way that makes sense for you. You all fell lock step into the same solution. Another pattern.

Thea: Well, LinEl, if I try running away this time I think I¹ll run to you guys.

LinEl: Yes! At least that is a half-way step.

Thea: Run to some parents.

LinEl: While you are changing things, think of changing this quiet time also. You are all sophisticated enough to, and know yourselves better now...it might be time to reexamine, not only why you do not do the quiet time but how you can make it work better for you. It is your terms that you go there on.

It¹s been a pleasure, friends. Farewell. I look forward to our next meeting.