[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 11.4.04 - Hope and Completeness

[JERRY LANE]

Dear Folks,    Here is another transmission of Mother Spirit via the Marin 
TM Group.  Imagine Her presence filling the room, and shared among us.  
Afterwards, the night feels renewed.  We laugh and say things like - wow!  
Jerry (Nytrayn at msn.com)

Nebadonia – October 4, 2004

Dear Michael and Mother,  Well, here we are again, your children, gathered 
about Your presence like little children around a warm fire on a cold night. 
  Your presence toasts us through and through.  And it is a joy just being 
together, waiting for You to continue this wonderful story that God has in 
store for all of us.  And so we wait with eager, bright eyes, looking to 
You.  And we thank You very much for what You give to us.  Amen.

Good evening, my children.  This is Mother Nebadonia with you tonight.  How 
I enjoy your bright, eager eyes looking to Me with love and devotion, hope 
and anticipation of the growth that is possible for you, that you are now 
beginning to feel.  This hope in your hearts is real.  It nourishes you as 
much as your body is nourished with good nutrition.

You can think of hope as a kind of pure, sweet energy that pervades all of 
space. It is a promise of our Father, a promise of growth to come, forever.  
This is God’s promise from His very nature and it is this nature that He 
shares with you, both in your creation - the way you were created, and then 
continuing as a support and encouragement for you to try that which you are 
not certain you can do.  This is the sustaining power of hope, a power that 
gives you an ability to try, even an ability to absorb what may, at first, 
appear to be failure.  This is a power to absorb failure with the courage to 
let it be a part of you, to encompass it and grow because of it.

The power of your imagination gives you a choice, and intrinsic in this 
choice is refusal.  If you could not refuse to take in something that is 
happening to you, you would have no freedom.  The choice would not be real.  
And so we encourage you to use the promise that was created as part of you, 
this hope that can spring from your soul, to encompass all you can.

The world is a large affair.  It is best absorbed moment by moment as you 
encounter it.  Direct your hope towards this notion of totality.  This is 
the promise of our Father: that there need be no end to how much of this 
totality you can encompass and understand and enjoy, and come to love in 
wholehearted worship.

This is how hope sustains you.  It whispers in your ear that there is more, 
and yet, at the same time, offers you a deep peacefulness with what you 
have.  It is as if, as you become more Godlike and can experience the peace 
of completeness, so you can see that there can still be more.  Call it a 
kind of divine economics, if you will.  God is growing - the Supreme Being 
is growing.  The universe is growing.  And you are growing.  At each moment, 
God - the Supreme Being, and the universe, and you are complete.  And still 
you are growing.  This is the nature of things and it is a joy to 
contemplate.  This is the phenomenal creativity of God.  It is not what you 
call a zero sum game, where for one to grow another must lose.

Every personal being is growing a soul.  This is a true possession, and it 
is not only the assurance of what you have experienced, but the hope and 
promise for more.  This becomes your fundamental faith and trust in our 
Father.  And it can become your attitude - your willingness and ability to 
relate with others.  This is the marvelous openness of which Michael and I 
have been speaking.  It is welcoming the adventure.

You’ve seen a divine wisdom in a most precious gift that you are given: the 
opportunity to earn what you have, that makes your soul truly yours.  This 
soul of yours, my children, is what you have to offer, then give, then share 
with each other.  Here is joy without any bounds whatever.

When you consider what our Father has given you, you can realize there is no 
separation here.  You cannot separate you from yourself.  There is a 
single-knit oneness to all of God’s creation, and you can feel this right 
inside yourself.  The marvel is, this too is alive and growing.  In so far 
as you cannot stand apart from yourself, you cannot capture this essence of 
yourself like a material possession. In this sense you cannot hold it, 
because it is you. Your attempts to hold yourself - your self reflection, 
your sense of yourself - what you psychologically call your ego, will always 
be less than what you are.  What you are is a creation of God.  Your ego is 
only a temporary semi-conscious reflection.  However useful - and it is 
useful, as much as your bathroom mirror is useful in the morning, so your 
ego is a useful tool, with more or less distortion - it is always less than 
the enormity of who and what you are.  So don’t, as they say, pin your hopes 
on your reflection.

Continue to grow a deep and abiding faith in the reality you are by way of 
an ever growing faith in the Source of all of us.  This is the completeness 
I speak of: you absolutely are!  And still, and still, look what you are 
becoming!  Carry this hope in your heart.  It is God’s promise and it is – 
ultimately - God keeping your heart beating.  Treasure this awhile, my sons. 
  If you have any questions or comments this evening, your Mother is always 
delighted to hear them.

Student:  Dear Mother, I thank you for the insight into how humor can be a 
leadership technique, a leadership tool.  It’s certainly something given to 
us from Adam and Eve.

Mother:  Yes, V, my son, humor can indeed be a tool in the sense that you 
can use it, you can do things with it.  You can affect others with it.
Where does it come from?  How can you find it?  It may be easier to find if 
you regard it, not so much as a tool to use, but as a toy to share.  In this 
it pays to keep a child’s delight in your heart, for this is the essence of 
humor, this light-heartedness.  You might even dare to be silly.  
Light-heartedness, unselfconsciousness, self-forgetfulness; these all 
suggest the way to finding this treasure called humor.  For it is not so 
much a means to an end, as a tool is, but an end in itself.  It’s simply 
fun.  Would you agree?

Student:  Ah, yes.

Mother:  It’s as if the tool itself has an intrinsic value, in addition to 
its usefulness.  And I sense that you are enough if a craftsman to enjoy the 
beauty of a good tool.  It exists simply for itself.  It can only be played 
with, never possessed.  This is the very delight of humor.  So let us thank 
Urantia’s Material Son and Daughter for their gift.  Is there anything else, 
V, that you care to discuss this evening?

Student:  Just to be thankful for this learning a little more about the 
consort of Michael, the joy of mind understanding, mind growth.

Mother:  As the Mother is the consort of the Father, We send you Our love 
and Our peace.

Student:  Mother, I notice that when I’m here, it’s easy to be in Your 
presence or Michael’s presence, or Welmek, or Whoever else shows up.  But 
when I go home I seem to slip back into another…like into another persona, 
and it’s very difficult to get involved in spiritual things, like being in 
touch with my teacher.  And on that subject, I noticed tonight a lot of my 
problem is, there is too much of me in the way.  It’s very difficult to 
empty myself out of the picture so there’s room for the transmission.  Do 
you have any advice or comments?  (Note: there was a transmitting/receiving 
lesson earlier.)

Mother:  C, my son, I would offer this insight: understanding paves the way 
forward.  It is where to focus your attention, for it is how you move 
forward in your mind.  It takes time and effort.  And it may seem, at times, 
as if the progress is very slow, because of so very much to work on.

The lessons you were given several weeks ago about the nature of time, you 
saw very clearly - how your mind works to understand previous experiences 
and the emotions and evaluations and judgments associated with these 
experiences.  This, I think, gave you a key to unlock a door, and now, as 
you open the door, everything comes rushing out.  Keep in mind, my son, 
you’ve opened the door.  Your desire to understand is growing stronger, and 
this will start to tie together the moments in your life so you will not 
feel there is such a great difference between who you are here and who you 
are alone.

It takes a lot of reflection to stay current in your life.  This is why we 
recommend a certain amount of meditation every day, if you can, just to keep 
up with current events, let alone a whole life you have lived.  So you may 
have a certain amount of backlogged reflections to catch up on.  This 
understanding should help you be aware that this is not a waste of time.  
You owe it to yourself - to understand yourself.  This is something you 
must, and you are capable of, earning.  You are feeling the effort required. 
  This is good.  You’ve a genuine feeling of what is real.  Persevere, my 
son.  Keep wondering, Who is this person? - and marvel at all you have known 
and experienced in your life.  I think the more you understand your life, 
paradoxically, the more you will be able to let go and make room for this 
other contact your soul now hungers for.  Does this make sense to you, my 
son?

Student:  Yes, it does, Mother.  The door really is open.  I appreciate You. 
  Thank You.  I also have a question about past experiences.  I’m not quite 
sure.  Am I to relive past experiences and remove the emotional charge on 
them?  Is that what you’re suggesting?

Mother: Yes, exactly.

Student:  Because I do notice certain events, past events, pop up every now 
and again.  I never quite understood where they come from.  But it’s making 
a lot more sense now.  I don’t consciously call them forth…once in a while, 
different ones, not the same one.  It makes a great deal more sense now.

Mother:  The idea here is to make time for them.  They are younger C’s who 
also want to continue to live, just as you right now want to continue to 
live.  Consider it a great gift that these are popping up now to be relived. 
  But to do this you have to get over a hurdle of nostalgia, because the 
reactions you’ve had to these experiences are more recent than the 
experiences themselves.  This is why, when you feel a pure memory, cherish 
it, welcome it, relive it for as long as you can, for this is usually only, 
sadly, a fleeting moment.  But relive as fully as you can other times of 
your life.  This will give you so much insight as to who you were then, and 
who you had to be, then, to be who you are right now. This is your soul, my 
friend.  Treasure it beyond anything.  For it is a gift of your Father, and 
it is in your Father’s safekeeping.  And be in My love.

Student:  Thank you, Mother, I am.

Student:  Yes, Mother, over the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling 
what’s in myself like a second body beneath my skin ( faint ) and kind of 
flowing through my body, and that whenever I get touched, or embraced, it 
kind of lights up like electrical charges are flowing through me.  And there 
are times where it’s intense.  It’s hard for me to believe, it’s hard for me 
to do real heart-full (faint) work.  I also feel any distortion or discord 
or deception really strongly within me. Like one jolt in my gut after 
another, and it’s hard to deal with.  It seems like I’m giving labor.  I 
feel myself changing, and I do honor this place.  And there is also fear of 
what is to become of me ‘cause things are changing in my life, in the way I 
see things, perceive…(pause)

Mother:  D, my son, once again it does My mothers’ heart proud to see you 
growing, especially along the dimension of sensitivity.  Sometimes processes 
which seem new to you - processes of change, of growth - are only new in 
your consciousness.  But ask yourself, Is this not what I am seeking? – to 
be more and more conscious of all the aspects of myself which I am 
experiencing from time to time?  There is also a certain fear of your very 
complexity.  You wonder: can I contain all of this?  Doesn’t something have 
to give?

But you are finding the way.  You take a deep breath, you heave a heavy 
sigh, and go on – maybe, someday, to the discovery that you are not keeping 
you together.  As I mentioned earlier, you are not keeping your own heart 
beating, my son.  And this only leads you to wonder, with an ever greater 
faith, Who is?  But now you are in the thick of it, and you may not yet 
know.  This is real.  These are true perceptions, and I salute your courage 
in not denying them.  And as I mentioned earlier, it’s a choice.

Your society informs you of a lot of ways, especially many chemical ways, 
but others too, of blanking things out.  But keep growing along this 
dimension of sensitivity.  At times you may feel your physical body to be so 
full of such squirming independent life that you can’t stand it.  But this 
too is real.  There are all of these millions of cells that are real and 
living, each going about its separate business, and yet united and giving 
you yourself.  I repeat: you are a very complex being.  So welcome all these 
strange happenings.  They are just you.  Does this seem to describe the 
situation, my son?

Student:  Interesting.  There are times where I do feel this intense… 
immensity of this fullness.  It’s hard to contain.  It’s like what do I do 
with this, when can I deal with this?  But then there are times, like at 
this moment, I feel really constricted, really uncomfortable thinking of 
certain situations that need to change.

Mother:  Can you see that this sensitivity, that I am encouraging you to 
experience, can lead to a greater creativity in how you handle the 
situations you are confronted with? – first, how to delicately separate all 
the strands of the situation, to understand the complexity inherent in it; 
then how best to create a solution, a way of dealing with it that pays 
respect to all these various elements of it?  You see how this demands that 
you grow, and this is what you feel, at times, as a kind of bursting.  Well, 
a flower has to burst in order to bloom.  A moth has to burst out of the 
cocoon.  These are living processes and so are you.  An understanding - to 
the degree that you can hold it, and enjoy it, and turn it over and over in 
your mind, and be pleased that you have it - to this very degree it is 
fixed.  And it in turn, in time, must burst to make room for the next larger 
understanding.

There is a slight human attempt, if you will, to stop time, to stand out of 
the river of our Father’s will, this river we talked about which is all of 
life.  There is even an illusion that you are outside this river of life, 
and you actually have something like a material possession, or even a 
biological possession - that your body is somehow fixed and not changing.  
But this is an illusion.  When this illusion breaks apart, you’re suddenly 
thrust right into the middle of life itself.  It can be a shock until your 
understanding turns around and helps you realize you are just becoming 
conscious of something which was always there.  It’s like that stretch we 
talked about.

There is pain, in the physical sense, in stretching a sore muscle.  In the 
mental realm this can be fear.  Your mind is letting you know that you are 
getting near a limit where you’ve never been before.  And these are real.  
But like managing that sore muscle, or feeling this bursting you talked 
about,  Look - you are surviving!  You are growing,  and you are learning 
Who is really keeping it all together.  This is called humility, my son.  
You are perceiving something enormous.  The trust in yourself, you have to 
slowly earn.

Student:  Part of the situation, my concern or what I’m feeling, is my 
concern over (name) and her two boys.  She is gradually having the life 
sucked out of her by her two sons.  They manipulate and resist and even mock 
her in her attempts to try to create something good in their lives; to get 
them to school, to get them up, to get them to do home work, to stay out of 
trouble.  And she doesn’t know what to do.  I’m seeing the same pattern over 
and over again since I’ve known them.  I’m in a quandary as to what to do.  
I’m so close to the situation it’s hard for me to be separate and objective. 
  I try so hard not to come from that emotional place of anger and 
frustration.  It takes away from my peace, my joy, and my perspective.  I 
try so hard to create something for these boys and nothing changes.  In fact 
it’s gotten worse.  It takes away from her life and our relationship.  I 
don’t know why should I care, these are not my kids.  I’ve raised my kids.  
But as you know, it doesn’t last long in my thought stream.  Even talking to 
You about it, the energy has moved into my heart.

Mother:  Yes, D, My mothers’ heart beats in symphony with yours.  There are 
situations, human situations, in which there is no easy solution, and it 
requires all the effort of the parents, for in a way the children truly do 
feed on the parents.  You very literally continue to give them life, and 
then, out of love, wean them away for their own good.  They in turn must 
separate themselves from you to have their own lives.  So perhaps a large 
part of what you are feeling are these two seemingly counter trends.

You’re aware of how much these children are drawing their life from you and 
their mother.  And how much, bit by bit, starting with very small steps, 
they have to be weaned away to find their own selves.  This is a delicate, 
living balance both sides must be attentive to.  There are some parents who 
refuse to let their children go, and there are some children who never want 
to leave.  Yet for each person to become an individual this is necessary.  
It’s a deep pattern of life itself.  Perhaps it would help to analyze or 
understand the situation from this aspect, the sustaining and yet separating 
- both.  Does this help you understand the situation?

Student:  Somewhat; its all the more complex, thinking back. I can see there 
needs to be a letting go or a weaning.  Both my kids are gone.  It gets back 
to seeing the same pattern in two and a half years, and it’s hard to see any 
end.  It’s escalating.  No sense in coming to that point.  That tension 
point where the bud opens up, in a sense, can be a crisis point of intense 
energy.  I feel like a nut waiting to be cracked open. Their lives cannot go 
on like this.  It’s unhealthy for all of them.

Mother:  I was mainly addressing that aspect where you seem to perceive a 
kind of unhealthy relationship where the children are taking too much from 
their mother.  And I was asking you if your understanding could enable you 
to help them? - then start, maybe in small steps, but constant steps, the 
separation?

Student:  Yes, with them I see that clearly, thank you.

Mother:  You are welcome, My son, and be in My love.  I commend your growing 
sensitivity, especially when it really affects your heart.  But I would 
remind you, this is truly love.  So I thank you, too.

Student:  Can you send some energy or thought their way?  Through me or…

Mother:  Michael and I both have a very direct connection with all Our 
children. And as We have mentioned so many times before, you have an ability 
to influence Our gift to another.  It’s your prayers for each other that 
enable Us to help even more.  This is a miraculous spiritual power you have 
to help each other that in no way diminishes another’s freedom.  So We thank 
you for your prayers and assistance.  This too is a gift of our Father: that 
you children can help the Creator Son and Daughter tend to their other 
children.

Thank you, My sons.  Keep growing!  And be in My love.